From a Woman's perspective, My wife and I have not made love in 3 months.?

Question

My wife and I had a extremely busy sex life untill about 6 months ago when we found out that there was a second kid in her belly." I think this is one of the main problems " Our first kid was very hard for us to carry because it caused us to go on bed rest. This is one of the reasons "obviously " can put a hold on the bedroom life.

Secondly we have had a very bouncy marriage from the start. We have had a hard time deciding were to live. So we have lived in 3 diffirent countries and in the USA we have lived in 4 diffirent states. All this with a todler. This has put lots of strain on the general life we have and the bedroom ofcourse.

I am from italy originally and did not come from a solid home. My dad left me and my sister and mother when I was an infant and deserted us. There fore I do not have a good role model for a Husband .

My wife complains that I do not do anything special for her, so why should she be intimate with me. Any advise please. Only answer if you wise.

Wow people, keep the responses rolling. Thank you.

Answer 1

I have had 3 preemie babies, so I know where you are as far as the hard pregnancy and the bed rest. If you feel like this is why she is holding out you should talk to her about it and go with her to talk to her doctor about it, I am sure he will put her at ease. Another thing you need to look at is when a women is pregnant and having problems they do not have the happy pregnant women attitude. I know I was very depressed, I was very unhappy with my body, and all I got to do was lay around all the time, which made me feel even worse. You need to make her feel good, she has so little to look forward to everyday, especially having a toddler makes it even harder, mommy can't play or give the attention she wants to which makes her feel even worse. She just has a lot going on right now, and her emotions are already stressed because of the pregnancy but with the high risk and bed rest it just makes it almost unbearable. My husband would bring me home things I liked, like puzzle books. He also brought home new fun books that I could read in bed to my 2 year old. They where just little things but it helped me feel so much more human. And it never hurts to bring her flowers and cards telling her you love her:-)

Answer 2

well, maybe she is nervous about this pregnancy because of her other one being so complicated. I guess she is also worried about dragging another child with her while you decide to find a place to live, which you should have by now. Being you didn't come form a good home life, you should make sure that you don't put your family through what you went through. Maybe you should have thought about where to settle before starting a family. You could be a good role for your family, just learn from the mistakes from your father and do the right thing for your family and I'm sure your wife will change. Try giving her some TLC and understanding and try to look on her side of the situation, find a home for your family, be unerestaning and patient with your wife it's terrible not knowing from one minute to the next where you will wind up next. Show her that you are really ready to be a good provider for her and your children. Good Luck.

Answer 3

My first thought was- she must be really ticked at you! Just because she had problems w last pregnancy does not mean she will w this one- what has the doctor said??- treat her well- be kind, loving and attentive- esp w her pregnant hormones- help around the house when you can- that gets a woman's attention- and says you care- she should love that- get a sitter and go on a date- or 2 - or offer to take toddler to park or somewhere and play w him and let her have a break- it will do wonders- try it and see- make it a normal thing-call-1800-759-0700 ask for free info on families and being a father- sorry about yours- you can be a good role model- take care D

Answer 4

something special for your wife might be having a permanant home. there is no perfect place and most marraiges are rocky in the begining. I have complained to my husband about the same things. Bring flowers home from work. gently give her a massage without sex. She might be scared because of her last pregnancy. One of the great things you do is say us instead of her. Her hormones are probably all over the place. just let her know that you will be there for her and that you love her. Always talk. My mother wasnt any kind of a role model either. She cheated on my dad all the time and then left him for his best friend.

Answer 5

Hello. Sorry to hear that you are having trouble in your marriage. To sum this all up, if you all believe in God my advice to you is to get your wife and both of you read these scriptures from the bible together: I Corinthians 7:1-5 ; Ephesians 5:22-33 ; I Peter 3:1-9. When you all study this together and apply it to your lives believe God for a blessed marital relationship. As far as the situation goes with your father walking out on you and your family, let that be a mistake that you learn from. Strive to not be the person your father was but to be a greater man in God. If you will pray and ask God for help, He will make you the man and the role model that He desires for you to be. I pray this information will help you.

Answer 6

There are lulls in everyones sex life.Do what you can to make her feel special.Next time she is stressed or had a long day.Fill the bathtub and light a few candles.Send her in alone then offer to bath her or shave her legs.Whatever you can do she would enjoy.Let her relax and be pampered.Whatever you do do not try and have sex with her!!!!!!!!!!! If it's her idea great,but treat her to an evening she enjoys.You will be rewarded for your efforts eventually.Just let it be her decision how and when,Woman love romance.And there is one simple rule.If she ain't happy,neither are you.Learn how to make her feel special again.It will save your love life,as well as your marriage.

Answer 7

sex in a marriage is very important as like breathing the fresh air but it is not the priority.. and marriage is not only for today if possible its for a lifetime..

It is always, whether you want to make the marriage work or not.. nothin to do with a model husband.

Think..if this is what you want - 'a happy marriage'
and if it is, than make it work.. bouncy marriage or not - the main important thing is being together.

My husband is impotent for 5yrs now and down with sickness. I can chose to leave him and have a good life of my own if i wanted to.. but I stick with him not bcos i love him or what, but bcos i have a family and i love my family and thats the PRIORITY in my life right now...

So think of what i said... sex is not everything!

Answer 8

Try doing something special for her. A small bouquet of flowers or a hidden note that will express your love for her.

In the extreme-if you are that "hard up" and don't feel like re leaving your self in the bathroom-go hire a hooker and take care of the problem.

Answer 9

Its not just sex your wife needs. She needs you as a complete man. A husband whom she can emotionally depend upon. So be a husband. Even if you both want sex, and if there is a medical problem, consult your ob/gyn before starting sex. First of all be a support for her in all ways.

Answer 10

well maybe since u guys have a baby on the way shes really tired... i mean if you had a baby in ur belly do you think you would be full of energy..he kicksand she throws up and its alot of hard work stress and energy by the time the day is done then shes out of it.... maybe you should take her to dinner or cook dinner or do something nice like bring her floweres because you were just thinking about her or something beacause all women like things romantic trust me ALL WOMEN!!!