why do they seceretly talk to A girl that they know there gf/wife doesnt like and promises they wont talk to them?
why do they have to keep it a seceret instead of saying this is how it is! i want to talk to her and that is that. Instead they say okay i wont talk to this person and then continue seceretly and then talk about you to the seceret girl! that is just crazy!
Additional Details
its not my insecurity. she has made sexual advances towards him. and she does nothing but bad mouth me to him which changes his behavior towards me.
2006-10-11 18:25:48 · 23 answers · asked by beachgirl90 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
yet he still feels the need to talk to this chick seceretly. why is this?
2006-10-11 18:26:37 · update #1
Regardless of the question; are you justified in asking your boyfriend not to talk to another person (your not by the way) if he says he won't and then does, don't trust him. If he can't meet the most basic test of trust, doing what he says he will (or not doing what he says he won't) then you can't trust him. He will tell you whatever he thinks you want to hear and then do what he wants to do. This doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It just mean he is a spineless lying coward. Move on sister, there's way better fish in the sea than this one.
2006-10-11 18:29:06 · answer #1 · answered by Jim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's the thrill of possibly getting caught, by you. If this is your bf then you may want to break things off with him because nothing good can come from this type of behavior. Especially when it doesn't sound like he's defending you in any way. Plus there could be more there than just secretly talking to her behind your back.
Something similar happened to a friend of mine. His gf was talking to this guy that he didn't get along with and the guy was always bad-mouthing my friend, but his gf wouldn't stop talking to the guy. A couple of months later my friend found out that his gf was doing the guy. For his now ex gf, it was the thrill of getting caught. She and the guy are no longer together either. Once my friend found out about her cheating she lost interest in the guy.
Anyway, I digress. If this man is your husband then you need to put a stop to it as soon as possible. Good luck!
2006-10-12 01:34:58 · answer #2 · answered by NyteWing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say that men that are in a good relationship usually don't, but when you got girls throwing themselves at him what do think is going to happen.
He is not physically cheating on you but he is emotionally cheating on you. And all I can say is once you are emotionally involved with someone then you eventually move into the physical thing.
I would set his but straight with a quickness and then I being the woman that I am would set her straight too.
That loving something and letting it go stuff is bull, what if it comes back with an STD.
I would tell him look, I know that she is into you and that is what upsets me so much, if you are going to continue talking to her then fine but you sneaking around and doing it makes the whole thing worse, cause if you are going to lie about speaking to another woman then there is no telling what you will lie about. And I would appreciate it if she says something about me to you then you being my man should say hey now thats my girl you are talking about or something to that effect.
But if she is saying crap and pitting him against you and you aren't married to him I'd be putting him out. Let him no that he is not all that, you can't have your cake and eat it too.
2006-10-12 01:30:29 · answer #3 · answered by Jamie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In all of my life I have never seen a male and female "just" be friends, they either both like each other or one likes the other. He should not be around this women if she is acting this way around him, she has no right to do that, I suggest you express your concern in a calm manor to your boyfriend, if he ignores your feelings then I suggest you give him a choice, you or the other girl, the fact he is trying to be secertive about her is not right and the fact he is lying to you about talking to this girl also sets off alarm bells.
2006-10-12 01:32:10 · answer #4 · answered by ros_0123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy likes to think he's still got it. She has made advances towards him and that's an ego builder. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you; it means he likes feeling that he's attractive and desirable. That's why he's still talking to her, but as to why he's doing it after promising you he wouldn't, I think he doesn't want to make you angry or to feel bad, but he gets a charge out of her obviously liking him. Why to people climb mountains or drive to fast? It's for the thrill of it. Too bad he doesn't realize he's standing too close to the edge of the cliff.
2006-10-12 01:31:33 · answer #5 · answered by Grady B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a good sign. Sounds like you may have to move on.
He's patronizing you. And you have re-assured him that someone else is attracted to him. Having a sense of upper hand and control tends to provoke the behavior. Who does like having many others attracted to you?
Just thoughts.
2006-10-12 01:35:00 · answer #6 · answered by Rescue A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A. She is his friend and has a deeper or longer connection to him than you.
B. He wants her.
C. They are both talking about your relationship with him... maybe he needs an outside woman's perspective and he trusts her.
D. She is trying to pick him up.
E. Nothing at all to do with you...they have their own relationship (friends or more).
2006-10-12 01:30:04 · answer #7 · answered by wandering_canuck 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be painting all guys as jerks just because you have lousy taste in men. Show some damn spine and demand he stop talking to her. If he doesn't, go talk to another guy.
2006-10-12 01:30:06 · answer #8 · answered by Guelph 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men naturally like women...if that wasnt the reality of it you and i wouldnt be here...if men didnt pursue women none of us would be here...maybe the way to look at this isnt to suspect the man for showing interest in women...maybe it's understanding that the man likes women and thats a good thing...after all...if you love something...you must let it go...if it returns to you its yours forever and if it doesnt it was never yours to begin with...and all that junk....gl...
2006-10-12 01:30:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's because they just want to avoid arguments and fights so that is why they lie. And your guy? He likes that girl for sure!
2006-10-12 01:32:24 · answer #10 · answered by ~Amor~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋