My roommate and best friend just informed me today that she's been "hooking up" with a girl (another one of our friends). I'm not sure what that exactly means since she didn't give me details but i'm not sure how to be supportive. i told her that i was here for her if she needed to talk and that i will accept her no matter what happens. this is the first time she's kissed a girl and she says that she's confused about whether she's gay, straight or bi. any suggestions about how i can be a supportive friend in this situation? i really respect her courage for telling me about this, it seemed like a very difficult thing for her to do. serious answers only, please
2006-10-11 18:00:48 · 7 answers · asked by krazykat8111 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Talk to her. .. .that's what roommates & best friends do, they talk. So, continue what you've started. . .the best thing she can have right now is the continued support of her friends, so keep it up! She needs you now more than ever. Thanks for not wigging out on her!
2006-10-11 18:02:57 · answer #1 · answered by pocket68rocket 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pay no attention to the bigot above me, her "College Educated" boyfriend obviously found his education at the end of a heroine needle.
Anyway, about your situation.
Being her friend and letting her know she can talk to you is the best thing a true friend can do.
Knowing she can come to you for advise or even just a sounding board is great!
It's obvious she trusts you, and your supportive attitude will really help in her journey. Not everyone is able to accept who they sexually are right off the bat. It can be a really long road.
Whatever you do, don't tell her what her sexuality is, she has to find that out on her own. But let her know she doesn't have to do it alone, that you'll still be there, as her friend.
2006-10-11 18:12:25 · answer #2 · answered by DEATH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In our country, where the religions right is telling us that homosexuality is wrong, there can be some self-stigma attached when exploring one's sexuality. The atmosphere is a bit more open than when I was young, but it can still be tough.
So, in being supportive, don't let your own fears, if any, get in the way. Just realize that at this stage, she's just figuring things out for herself. It doesn't matter if she's straight, gay or bi, it just matters that she finds out who she really is.
If she told you before she even knows herself, that means that she really trusts you. If you are deserving enough of that trust, you must be doing the right thing already. Just be there for her and avoid judgements. As time passes, you might run into somebody who asks you about your friend (is she gay or what?). In that situation, the best thing you could do would be to tell that person to ask her themself. Even if your friend has come out by that point, it's best for people to ask questions directly instead of going behind somebody's back.
Just a few hints from my own experience,
--Dee
2006-10-11 18:10:27 · answer #3 · answered by Deirdre H 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Olga is a jerk & is going to get reported very soon by someone, if she doesn't learn to shut her mouth.
Anyway, you should support your friend no matter what, she was your friend before you found out she was a lesbo, so how does knowing that she is one now make any difference? she is still the same person you became best friends with before, except now she has decided to evaluate her sexuality in a new perspective. You should respect that, not resent it.
2006-10-11 18:15:31 · answer #4 · answered by Lauren C.: Led-head 4 (∞) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply listen to her and if you give advice, give advice that would be pertinent to any relationship. If you don't think you know what to to say, then help her find organizations (most city's, colleges) have them, that will help her find her way. Just because she's having a relationship with the same gender doesn't make her anything. Where she takes it will determine that. It sounds like you are a good friend, she's lucky to have you.
2006-10-12 01:18:45 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just insure you are cleare on the sittuation. Don't prye, and do what you have allwais done..... be her friend. Form there on out, I wouldn't even bring it up once you are on the same level. this is a very hard and confusing time for her. It is very easy for her to get uncomfortable and respond in errational ways. this is for her to deal with on her own until she feels the need to have your active support.
2006-10-12 07:10:31 · answer #6 · answered by David B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be her friend, just like you always have been. She'll have to find her own way.
2006-10-11 18:10:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋