Which one of us was rude?

Question

Me and my friend went shopping. At one point, she wanted to go into a store that I didn't want to go into. I told her to go ahead in the store and I would wait in the car for her. 2 hours later, I was still in the car. When she got in the car, she began telling me how rude it was of me to make her go in the store and shop by herself. I explained to her that I had no interest in the store and instead of slowing her down, I let her go ahead and have her fun. I didn't even comment on how she spent 2 hours in the store knowing I was waiting for her. That was 3 days ago and we have made up since then, but I have been very upset considering she told me I was the rude one when I feel like if anything, she was!! She obviously didn't need me in the store. She came out with like 10 bags.
So who was rude in this situation and do you think I should say something or leave it alone since we've made up?

FYI: She is very inconsiderate when she goes shopping with other people. She takes her time when trying on things and doesn't even care that the person she is with might be ready to go or want to go look at some other stores. She's always been like this and even when she notices people are ready to go, she doesn't care.

I'm not her man. We are both females and just good friends and it wasn't a clothing store. It was a furniture store and she is in school for interior design so she already knew what she was looking for and wouldn't have needed my advice at all.

We weren't at a mall. We were out of town. The mall had closed and the only store open was this furniture store so I couldn't have went into another store to shop or do other things and considering I was out of town, I wasn't going to leave her there and venture out on my own and get lost.

Answer 1

Well the first thing that you have learnt here is not to go shopping with this person. Who wants to hang around for hours while someone else tries things on anyway?

I don't think I would bother with confronting her with the fact that it was in fact her that was rude, leaving you in the car for 2 hours. She will not be able to see it from your point of view, as if she was going to she would have been back to the car earlier. Therefore you will just be creating further conflict with this person and in the end not winning the arguement. You should just mark this one up to experience and not put yourself in the position in the future. Find someone else to go shopping with.

Answer 2

Your friend thinks that you were rude. However, you think she was the one being rude. I think that you were fine with letting her go into the store, while you waited in the car. Then, you got bothered because you didn't expect her to come out in 2 hrs, with 10 bags, and then call you rude.

Your trying to find out who was rude but to tell you the truth both of you were rude (maybe not in the same degree). Dont compare your actions with hers. I understand that you didnt want to shop anymore and you didnt want to interrupt her shopping. Instead of rushing her, you patiently waited in the car. But she doesnt see that. So you have to understand it from her point of view. You left her alone. You agreed to go WITH her. As a friend, you shouldn't have left her alone. But that still doenst justify her actions. She shouldn't have made you wait for 2 hours.

This might sound funny but friendship is still a relationship. Both of you should have communicated and came to a compromise. You should have told her that you wanted to leave, but as a friend you were willing to stay with her a little longer (and emphasize a little). There is no going back but there is a next time. Hopefully, next time both of you can be open & come to a compromise.

You also wanted to know if you should say something or leave it alone. Well, ask yourself what the friendship means to you. Can you really be her friend, act like nothing happened, and Not let her know how you feel. Obviously you feel strong about it because you posted it on Yahoo. On the other hand, maybe you dont want to make big deal, since you guys made up already. So, it's really up to you. You shouldn't feel forced to do anything you dont want to do. This might Not be the direct answer you were looking for but this is how i view it.

Answer 3

Hello dear. Your question is not very hard to answer at all. First let me say that both of you played a part of being wrong in this situation. Sometimes in life we tend to always look at the other person as being the one in the wrong, when really we need to examine ourselves to see could it possibly be me. Let me start out by saying that if you know your friend: her ways, her character, her style, her personality, what she likes to do or don't do, then that should help you make decisions on when you all should spend time together or not spend time together. It would not have hurt to go in the store with her even though it was not a store you were interested in. Sometimes in life we have to give in to others ( as long as its nothing wrong or sinful ) in order to meet them half way. So if you know she likes to shop hours at a time then just don't go at all. Now, as for your friend, she should have been more considerate of you. She knows that you are in the car waiting so she should have really not have stayed 2 hours in the store. In her heart I'm sure she knows she was wrong. The bible says that whenever you have something in your heart against a person you should go to that person and try to resolve the matter. If you all have made up then I would just leave it alone. But next time something goes wrong between the two of you try to talk about it then if possible. Both of you should be wise enough to settle differences between the two of you. My advice to you all is to please be considerate of one another and let sisterly love continue.

Answer 4

hmmm, even though you've made up and talked about it, it doesn't seem like your feelings have changed too much. You made the decision to make up, so I think you should forgive her and discuss your plans more thoroughly next time you're doing something together. As for who was rude- it was quite rude of her to leave you waiting for her for 2 hours..that is pretty selfish. However, you could have gone in the store at any point to see how she was coming along when you realized she was taking a while. Then at least she could tell you how much longer she thought she'd be, and you could go shopping somewhere else, do an errand, or whatever until the time when she said she'd be done. Then at least you're not just sitting their bored and mad. Best of luck with your friendship!

Answer 5

I think she did it on purpose maybe, but then again, maybe she thought that you would eventually go in or go to another store nearby. I really don't know. It depends on how she usually acts towards you. Has she done other things like this or is this an isolated case? I don't think it is rude of you to nicely say that you don't want to go in. But if she planned on shopping so long, she should have told you that it might take awhile. I would just try to forget about it, but the next time you two go out, I would make sure that you get more information about where you are going and what you both want to do.

Answer 6

Personally I think you should leave it as you've made up and bringing it up again could just cause another argument.

I think that when friends go shopping together, they should be prepared to look at things that the other person wants to as well (both) thats why its called together. So in a sense I think that was a little rude on your part, but to have you wait 2 hours was definitely rude on her part when she could of at least warned you that she would be a while, that could of given you the opportunity to go and do something else. Two wrongs don't make a right, but still, I'd just leave it at that.

Answer 7

who care who was rude you guys made up and that's what matters. seems like you are the one who feels upset about the situation. in my opinion you were the rude one. you should have followed her into the store and maybe give her some opinions as to what she should purchase. that's what friends are for. being there even when you don't want to. you seemed like you were the one who was mad by saying you will wait in the car. it's not what you say it's how you say it. don't worry about it. next time just follow her in the store or find a store that you like and go check some stuff out then go back and check on your friend.

Answer 8

I think perhaps something else was said, or requested. But nevertheless, she was the rude one.
She did ask, you, a free agent, if you wanted to go on the sore, and you told her that you preferred to wait in the car. She had a chance to tell you that it was going to be a long wait, for she had apparently already decided to blow her wad in her fav store, and take her time doing it, savoring every purchase. She also took her on good time, knowing exactly where you were. You probably both had cell's and could have communicated, but you didn't.
She was the rude one.
She's full of herself,and expects others to do her bidding. Bad relationship.

Answer 9

You might want to leave it alone if you've made up. You did
know she was like that before you went shopping with her. She probably stayed in the store so long to prove a point to you. The point being that you'll leave when she's damn good and ready and too bad if you have to wait. But, that doesn't make it right.
You'll just have to swallow your pride and let it go. Now you know better for future reference. GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Answer 10

I'm guessing your friend is young?? But that is not an excuse. You should tell her that you feel as if you don't matter in the friendship. That what you do revolves around what she wants to do, ect. If you can talk it out them maybe she will realize what she is doing. If she choices not to take her friends in consideration then maybe you need to step back and look at the situation. Take her good qualities. accept and embrace them. Ignore her bad qualities. Don't take them on as if you have done something wrong. You might suggest next time you go out to take separate cars and meet each other so you have an out when you are ready.
Its all a choice!