Well I am 19 and my fiance is almost 26. I was always told that I am fat and ugly by a lot of people. It happened so much that I still believe it. I have a hard time thinking that I look nice and when I do I still think I am ugly. My fiance says that I am sexy hot beautiful pretty and all that but I for some reason dont always believe it. I want to be prettier and I dont know how. He likes me the way I am but I am afraid he will think someone is prettier then me even though he said that will never happen. I love him a lot and he loves me. He gets mad at me for putting myself down. He says his opinion should be the only one that matters. I just dont know if he means it. He tells me I am sexy almost everyday when he sees me. What can I do to build my self esteem and believe him when he says good things about me? What can I do to make myself look nice? Please dont be rude.
2006-10-11 16:52:29 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You have a low self esteem. If your boyfriend tells you that he loves you and cares for you, why do you doubt him? He would not be with you if he didn't care. I really don't know if you are heavy or not, but a lot of men like women that they can hold, embrace, and feel their skin close to them. You are probably a very pretty woman. I wonder who hurt you so bad that made you feel this way? Always look pretty for your man, show him you care also. If you think that the way you feel will affect your relationship, seek a counselor to talk to. Get that self esteem back up again, you can do it. If not by yourself with someone to talk to. But I know that someone hurt you badly prior to this. Don't allow this to affect the rest of your life. Look in the mirror, look at your inner self, see, you are pretty, you saw it, didn't you. If there is anything in your past you need to resolve do it now., before you loose the man that you love and the man that loves you.
God bless you my dear, pray that God will take away those fears you have.
2006-10-11 17:18:13 · answer #1 · answered by Boricua Born 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off beauty starts from inside. So if you are a good person you are very sexy and that will radiate to the outside. I wish more people would realize this. But I will be honest with you someone who always puts themself down, is always negitive and needs someone to constantly build them up, is so not sexy! Girlfriend it is time to stop this ugly behavior! Start reading self help books, get some counseling or something but please stop making this man go through this every single day he will eventually get tired. Here are some simple tips to follow: Keep your teeth, hair and body clean, wear perfume, keep your hair fixed (even if in a ponytail add some jel to make sure fly away strands behave), make sure to iron your clothes even if you are a jeans and t-shirt type girl. If you don't like your weight exercise and eat better (this is something you should do anyway for your health). It's the small things that matter and they do add up! Something I learned a long time ago: Fake it until you feel it! So start faking it and doing something everyday to get to the place where you need to feel good about yourself. You can do it! Good Luck!
2006-10-12 00:03:41 · answer #2 · answered by my_first_love_85 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a low self esteem is a very difficult thing to fix. Because you said it yourself, no matter what your fiance tells you, you don't believe it yourself, so it doesn't matter. And having these evil people calling you names??!? Wow....beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. And don't forget, no matter how pretty you are, there is always someone prettier then you. I don't know what to say to make you think you look nice. You have a great guy telling you that on a daily basis, and you don't believe him. Why would you believe us? He already thinks your the bomb! Quit asking us questions and go jump your man, girl!!!
2006-10-12 00:03:05 · answer #3 · answered by frigidx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi sweetie, You need to build your self esteem up first and foremost. You either trust your fiance or you don't and you need to understand beauty comes from the inside not the outside. If your fiance didn't think you were beautiful in his eyes he wouldn't have asked you to spend the rest of your life with him. Believe in yourself and don't let your insecurities break you apart. People of all ages can be cruel and but its the people that you care about who's opinion you should care about. He can't undo 19 years of hurt in a year hun but believe in him and don't question why he finds you beautiful and sexy OK? Trust him and pretty soon your going to see what he sees.
2006-10-12 00:16:22 · answer #4 · answered by tinywolf2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh wow, I actually went through the same thing. since i was about 7, people always made fun of the way i looked, it really lowered my self esteem, then a few months ago, i took a real hard look at myself in the mirror, this is going to sound odd but it works, and for about a month, every night i would look in the mirror and say you are beautiful like five times depending on how i felt that day. it really worked as stupid as that may sound and a few months later when i met my bf, he really helped me out, he did exactly what your fiance does, constantly complimenting me (even on my worse days), and what moves me the most is that i know he truly means it. appreciate what you have and try and do what i did even if it feels silly. you're very lucky to have someone like that.
2006-10-12 00:07:57 · answer #5 · answered by sweethyedreamer213 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Self confidence is a must. Models aren't beautiful just because they are. They know it. You just got to know it. There was this girl in high school that wasn't really that pretty. But she had loads of self confidence and that was why all the guys wanted her. The prettiest girl on the cheer leading squad couldn't compare to the way that girl shined. Hold your head up and be proud that you are beautiful and that you got a man that shows you. I am pretty and my ex treated me during the whole time we were married like I was a dog. Now that I am not with him , I feel beautiful once again. But I hold my head down and don't look men in the eye anymore. This guy that likes me and knows what I have been through, brought this to my attention. I will hold my head up once again and know that I am pretty!
2006-10-12 00:02:46 · answer #6 · answered by poobear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was always told the same thing. It is really hard to take advise for something that you have grown acustomed to. Sometimes i still tell my husband that i am ugly just to have him console me, & make me feel pretty. you have to understand that there are people out there that will actually mean it when they tell you that you are beautiful, & sexy. if he is telling you alomst everytime that youare, you need to take a breath & just believe him. Give him a big kiss when he tells you this instead of arguing with him & denying what he is being sincere about. Eventually you will believe him, & his opinion is the only one that does count.
2006-10-11 23:59:26 · answer #7 · answered by sis_jk27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like an absolute doll! Hold on to him! He is right...Good for him! Thank him when he says nice things about you! He means it! If you want to boost your self confidence, get a new haircut (most chains you can get a good cut for about $10 - $15. Wear colors you like that compliment you. Go on walks with him, exercise will make you feel better. Appreciate him and don't listen to any one who says negative things to you...you are so much better than them, and you have got a great guy who believes in you and loves you...celebrate!
2006-10-11 23:58:07 · answer #8 · answered by cadodevine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a complete makeover go to the salon change style of hair, buy new clothes. Be glad with who you are don't listen to other people's opinions; if your fiance thinks that you're sexy just accept that as a compliment, your fiance loves you and that's the important thing.
2006-10-12 00:06:30 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how pretty you look on the exterior, it is only temporary, because as we age, our exterior looks will be most obvious.
So the point now is not how you look, but how you feel inside you. Unless you have some self worth and feel confident of yourself, no amount of praise will make you feel comfortable.
Recognise that all of us have strengths and weaknesses and so have you. Focus on your strengths and enjoy yourself in life.
You will be much happier rather than worrying about acceptance by others over your looks!
2006-10-12 00:05:21 · answer #10 · answered by G.T. L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋