Do I have a drinking problem?

Question

I am a stay-at-home mom,my son has a syndrom,my daughter is so hyper she is 4 and still does not sleep through the night,(neather does my son)My husband works out of town most of the time.It's all me..cooking ,cleaning,mowing the lawn,doc apt,school apt.playing at the park,birthdays,you name it..!! I do not go out on the weekends,but I drink at night,every other night,sometimes 2-3 drinks, sometimes 4-7 drinks,sometimes I won't drink at all. I drink coffee all day,but come dinner time,as I am cooking (low cal ,counting every calorie,as I have to for the syndrom) I am making a drink! If it is morning,and I know I don't have anything left to make a drink with that night,I have to go and buy it. Even if I might not want it at that time,I fear I might want it later at night and not have it! I drink (even if i don't want to) if my husband wants sex at night.Because I know I will not want it. and if I drink I will not care. He will even buy me a bottle of Rum when he wants sex that night!

When my husband comes home,I feel relieved as I can go to sleep or go to the store without kids! But he does not help me,he acts like love means sex and sex=love! I feel like I have so many(duties) all the time,I never have the(relax time,the fall alsleep in his arms time) as I have to have sex or it's more stress on me. Inturn..the drinking plays in the situation. Now when I get stressed,I need a drink!

Answer 1

I feel for you so much.

There has been times in my life when I drank to easy the worries of the day.

It never really cured the probelm at hand though, and sometimes started causing new problems. While I still drink sometimes, it is for pleasure now, not to ease worries, frustraitions, or to escape facing the current situation.

I think the bigger problem is your husband than your dinking. Hae u ever tried talking to him about this? You are not obligated to have sex. You should be able to say no. He is using alcohol as a way to USE your body. Dont let him fool you, he knows what he is doing is not Love....or else why would he bring the rum? I suggest really talking with him and looking at your situation in ernest...without drinking while u r doing it so u can be logical. Ig there was once Love in your relationship then maybe together u can rekindle it....otherwise leave his sorry butt. It makes me so mad to think a man would treat a woman so terribly.

As far as drinking goes, try and cut down a few drinks a night. Try and resist that need to have a drink in the house when evening comes. But dont stop completely unless u decide it is the only way because u do have a problem. We all deserve a drink sometimes....for pleasure like I said....yours by the way, not your husbands. lol :)

In addition it sounds like you have been letting yourself get so busy u r loosing touch with you. Try taking 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the evening just for you. Make time....even if there isnt any. Call it your "me time" do what ever you want. Take a hot bath and relax or masturbate. Have a drink by yourself on the patio, turn on the radio. Watch a tv program just for you. Write your dreams down when you first wake up (some people enjoy this, it is called a dream diary). These activities and other of your choice that you enjoy should fill this time space. It will help.

Good Luck my dear. You are welcome to email me if u need soemone to talk to.

Answer 2

I don't know if you have a drinking problem, but the progression in your question makes me concerned...the fact that you are asking this question here makes me think you already suspect that you do have a problem.

I've copied something from the internet that might be able to help you make that determination...and, ultimately, you are the one that is going to have to decide this. This is called the Michigan Alcoholism Screening Test (MAST) and there is an answer key at the bottom. The questions are Yes and No questions...they may very well help you, if you are honest with yourself, make a determination about whether or not you have a problem.

The Michigan Alcohol Screening Test (MAST)

1. Do you feel you are a normal drinker? ("normal" - drink as much or less than most other people)

2. Have you ever awakened the morning after some drinking the night before and found that you could not remember a part of the evening?

3. Does any near relative or close friend ever worry or complain about your drinking?

4. Can you stop drinking without difficulty after one or two drinks?

5. Do you ever feel guilty about your drinking?

6. Have you ever attended a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)?

7. Have you ever gotten into physical fights when drinking?

8. Has drinking ever created problems between you and a near relative or close friend?

9. Has any family member or close friend gone to anyone for help about your drinking?

10. Have you ever lost friends because of your drinking?

11. Have you ever gotten into trouble at work because of drinking?

12. Have you ever lost a job because of drinking?

13. Have you ever neglected your obligations, your family, or your work for two or more days in a row because you were drinking?

14. Do you drink before noon fairly often?

15. Have you ever been told you have liver trouble such as cirrhosis?

16. After heavy drinking have you ever had delirium tremens (D.T.'s), severe shaking, visual or auditory (hearing) hallucinations?

17. Have you ever gone to anyone for help about your drinking?

18. Have you ever been hospitalized because of drinking?

19. Has your drinking ever resulted in your being hospitalized in a psychiatric ward?

20. Have you ever gone to any doctor, social worker, clergyman or mental health clinic for help with any emotional problem in which drinking was part of the problem?

21. Have you been arrested more than once for driving under the influence of alcohol?

22. Have you ever been arrested, even for a few hours because of other behavior while drinking?
(If Yes, how many times ________ )
Scoring: Each question answered YES scores 1 point except for questions 1 & 4 which are 1 point for each NO answer.

* A score of two or less points indicates "No apparent problem."
* A score of three to five points indicates "Early or middle problem drinker."
* A score of six points or more points indicates "Problem drinker."

Answer 3

Only you can truthfully answer that question. However people who do not have a drinking problem do not normally ask that question. People who do not have a drinking problem do not "have to have" alcohol to do things that they do not want to.
People who do not have a drinking problem do not think I may want a drink later and there is none in the house so I'd better get some now just in case. It seems to me that You you have a lot on you. You seem as though while you are doing so much, you are still alone. I would definitely look into an AA meeting. It would help if only in assisting you in determining if you had a drinking problem. I wish I knew a way to give you my e-mail.

Answer 4

Oh you do have so many duties. The bottle is not going to solve this, it is only helping you to hide from the real issues. You have your hands so full with no one to help. Life is not meant to be this way. Please get help before you seriously have a drinking problem and someone will have to take care of you. Talk to a counselor, a pastor or whoever you trust that can really offer an answer. Your husband needs to step up and give you a hand, just because he makes the money doesn't mean he has done his part, at least not all of it.

Answer 5

Dear friend,
It sounds like a lot of things are going on in your life. Alcoholism is a disease, it is treatable. If not treated if will never go away. I just went through a chemical dependancy program with my mate, he is an alcoholic and drug addict. It did us both good. He now attends weekly AA meetings and is staying clean and sober. What I discovered about myself was that I became a co-dependent, which is where you put others values and needs before your own, and at times to the detriment of yourself, where you start suffering emotionally, spiritually, financially, or physically.

It sounds like co-dependancy is something that you may be suffering from as well.

Get to a mental health professional to help you sort out our your concerns. Sometimes we are just in a bad situation, there are things that can make it better besides alcohol or drugs.

Do it for yourself and your family. Check into it.

Bless you!

Answer 6

If you think you have a problem, then you do. The fact that you rely on it to have sex with your husband is a problem in and of itself. Your husband is not helping matters either by just giving you a drink and not trying to do something else to turn you on. You need to get into counseling to try to find out why you have that block to sex. It's normal to go through a period of not wanting to have sex, but if it is prolonged, then you have a problem and you are going about your problems wrong. You're going to have to learn how to become aroused again without the drink. Good luck to you and please, get some help for this.

Answer 7

perhaps you should be asking your self this question. they way that you've state it, it seems that you're aware that your affinity towards alcohol might get a little out of hand. i would not say that it's a problem if it doesn't interfere with your daily life. it seems like you've got a hold on your duties as a mother and whatever else. so why not enjoy a drink or indulge in it? after all it could be your reward for a hards day work. As long as you're able to balance your drinking with your priorities it shouldn't be a problem. whatever reasons you may have for consuming alcohol is up to you, no one is to judge you but yourself. Cheers-

Answer 8

You should make an appointment with a therapist. Just having someone to talk to who isn't "involved" in your life could really help. Maybe you could set something up for one evening a week and go while your husband is home with the kids, and then after your appt. you could go do something nice for yourself... get your hair or nails done, go for coffee etc. You have a lot on your plate, and you deserve a break.
If you ever want to talk, you can messege me anytime.
Take care, and good luck
~Julie~

Answer 9

Yes, you have a drinking problem! Please get some help for the sake of your children. They deserve a mother who can deal with life on life's terms.

There is lots of help even online. You can start by researching recovery radio on yahoo.

There are tests you can take that answer the question "Am I an alcoholic:"

Please at least get some education on alcoholism. Try to find out what you are really trying to escape from in your past.

I pray you will get some help.

Answer 10

yes, you have a drinking problem---does not really solve anything; don't you have family or friends who can help you out a little? would husband consider different work so he can help you? you need to find people to help you with kids and chores or help you organize and manage the little time you do have; raising a family is very demanding, and you need help with that--good luck--hug