i'm married since 2 months, after my wedding i heard many lies which my husband has always hidden to me,now i lost all my trust n luv which i've for him. n i do think a gud relationship is based on trust n luv, this y i want to leave him. but i dont know if i'll be able to 4get this n start a new life as i've loved him so much n he was my first lover. thanks for your advise n hope you may help me.
2006-10-11 15:51:39 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go to counseling before you throw in the towel. Then you will have no regrets that you didn't try to work it out.
2006-10-11 15:52:59 · answer #1 · answered by totalstressor 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a sacred thing. Make sure you know what you are doing, and don't act on impulse. Try to work things out between you two, because a lot of times, couples discovered that they were on the brink of breaking up due to little mistakes, such as poor communication or misunderstaning of each other's mind.
Yes, a good relationship is largely based on trust, but you must give your husband a chance to explain or make up, if you haven't done this. If you two cannot work out, then something needs to be done, and this is a decision between you two. But remember, a divorce does not ensure that your next love or marriage will be better. So think twice :)
2006-10-11 15:57:50 · answer #2 · answered by Audrey L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious did you go into this marriage with your eyes shut?? We all have skeletons in our closet or most of us that have really lived anyway. Marriage is probably one of the most important things you will ever do and like being a good parent it should never be taken on as a joy ride!! Talk to your husband and then talk to him some more unless he is abusive then you would do well to get the hell out of there but if not its about foundations dedications a life time commitment GET SERIOUS WOMAN sort it out. You are very young my dear in my eyes to young for marriage. Personally i don't think you should be allowed to marry at that age. You say you have heard lies. Have you asked your husband? Where is your Mum? You are a baby darling I hope you get it sorted you make my heart weep.
2006-10-11 16:04:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain but you have to move on and put the pain in the past or it will consume you. I am sorry you have been hurt but you need to get out before you are hurt more. Life is full of lessons we learn and the learning and remembering is the important part. It may take time but you will heal and be faithful that a true love will come your way. Do not lose hope for in the losing of hope we are lost, be strong in the heart and look to the future with open eyes and hope.
2006-10-11 16:01:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he married you, and he didnt tell you this until now, maybe he cared for you so much, that he couldnt tell you until now. He probably just didnt want to lose you. Im 20 also, and im engaged. If my fiance told me something after we were married, I mean something crazy, I would definately be pissed off for a while, but this is the person I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. Dont use divorce as an easy out bc you'll find out that everyone has crap their hiding in the closet. Though I dont believe it, maybe you told him every single thing in the world that could ever piss him off and thats great. Think about it though. The next guy could be worse. I have a line of course and if its crossed its over. But even if she cheated on me I would forgive her at least once. You should probably just talk things out, let out your anger at him though talking so he knows how serious you feel about this situation. GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-10-11 15:58:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should do whatever makes u happy. there is no right or wrong here but 2 choices : 1. either u live the rest of your life with this uncomfortable feeling inside u ... 2. or u divorce and start over u r just 20 u will meet new people and don't rush into marriage the next time (wink)
good luck
2006-10-11 15:55:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you are too young and don't have the maturity and level of committment that a marriage takes and that's obvious because you're ready to jump ship already. The love you have for him is connected to what's between your legs and as soon as you get with someone else, your "first lover" will be long forgotten. lol Get that marriage annulled and put off getting married until you're at least 25.
2006-10-11 16:05:38 · answer #7 · answered by MsT 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
trust love and respect are a part of any relationship married or single . would you rather have a marriage based on lies or one based on Honesty ? your young and if you feel that divorce is the right thing well that's your choice . have you talked to your husband ? how about counseling? and where did you hear the lies he told ???from someone who's honest and you trust ? lots to think about here ...
2006-10-11 15:56:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well first of all your young and it's only once in a lifetime that a young love will last. yeah you heard a lot of stuff but you got to know that guys mature much slower than females so he may love you but have those times where he just wants to be a guy. Either stay with him and work things threw this cloudy time or give it up and move on. he may be going threw a phase in his life and being led by peer pressure. think about it.
2006-10-11 15:55:31 · answer #9 · answered by nichelle b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is one for the pickings. Did you not know anything about the man before you married him. How long was the courtship before you got married.?
Before you do anthing rash, Have it out with him. Don't rely on others for information, go straight to the horses mouth.
Always best to get info from the person concerned.
Others have a tendency to elaborate the truth slightly.
2006-10-11 15:59:48 · answer #10 · answered by aotea s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the sad part of being married, once you get married, you are married for life. That means, you lose that option to undo what you have done which is .to stay single again..I agree with you that once trust is destroyed, it will be difficult to trust again. Conside this.Everyone of us has flaws and faults. no one is perfect. If you can have heart to heart talk with him and tell him about your hurts, and if perchance he will ask for forgiveness, then forgive him and start all over again. Why not give him a chance? After all, he is your first lover and husband. If you truly love him, then forgive and forget. Love covers a multitude of sins.
2006-10-11 16:06:07 · answer #11 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋