My boyfriend knows... he is actually in his last uear of highschool and he wants a baby. but i REALLY wanna finish school.. and i had some goals set, i really wanna become a nurse ... and me and my dad talk about teen pregnancy a lot and how u can easily be judged by teen pregnancy, he told me that if i was pregnant i wouldn't be keeping it... i said "well what if i didnt't beleive in abortion"(because i dont) he said youd be kicked out... i told him that ur suposed to love your child unconditioanly.. he doesnt know i have sex... my mom does i keep telling her i would get on the pill.. but i still havent... she just keeps telling me not to get pregnant. and i live a better life at my dads, my mom doesnt have that much and i know if i do something stupid like so, i would have to live there and missout on all the things i had. my boyfriend also told me that i could move in with him and his mother she already said it'd be fine. I just REALLY love my dad and i dont want to lose him.
2006-10-11 15:41:06 · 17 answers · asked by babyphatmisssezz 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
babies right now, BAD IDEA for 2 huge reasons 1)your still in school 2)when you have children you want to give them the best quality of life possible and you can't do that living with your boyfriends mom and if your boyfriend was remotely ready he wouldnt be asking you to move in w/ him and his MOM! i mean really.
2006-10-11 16:00:49 · answer #1 · answered by Crissy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I really don't get your dilema-if your boyfriend is encouraging you to get pregnant and you're considering even though you voice all these (very valid) reasons why you shouldn't.You can have a boyfriend BUT you are the one that makes the ultimate decision on your future life and wanting to be a nurse is a exellent career choice for you get to help people ,make a substantial difference and earn a very good living with nurses also being in demand-you'll be financially secure for life. Having a baby will just about make going to nursing school an impossibility for a baby needs you 24 hrs a day and if you plan daycare-its expensive and your baby will not grow with you but with strangers. Your boyfriend I'm sure can figure this out too and I'm doubting he has your best interest at heart but perhaps is attempting to tie you to him with a baby.Being he's in only last year of high school how will he support you and the baby with only a high school diploma.Believe your Dad (and Mom) want a better life for you thats why he is attempting now to stress how having a baby now would ruin you having a good future. You do not state that you want a baby and to have one just to please your boyfriend is the wrong reason. Tell your boyfriend that neither you or him are now mature and financially settled enough to have a baby(do you have insurance,insurance today is really expensive and it does not pay for all only usually 80% and the baby needs to be under a Pediatricians care for a long time-so not only will you ruin for years your chances of becoming a nurse but you will have much debt and money problems drive many young couples apart. Do Not Do This-please! I can foresee your life filled with drudgery,having to work menial jobs(same with your boyfriend) and you'll be old and worn out before your time and your child will suffer and probably will have a life as stressed and menial as you-----Break the cycle, graduate and go to nursing school and if your boyfriend gives you a hard time over it then he has very little sense and can't possibly have any ambition and then you also need to question his intentions-I'd say goodbye for I am in charge of my life and my future and not someone else. If this is a good and healthy relationship then he should support you in wanting to better yourself and consider it admirably of you to want to be a nurse. You are also way too young to have the responsibility of a baby. I really hope that you'll make the right deciion and YOU decide the course of your future
2006-10-11 23:14:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
ok first off DO NOT get the baby reasons-
1.) He could get you pregnant then never want to see you again
2.) Having the baby means you getting more money to support the baby
3.) Ignore your boyfriend if i were you i would lose em
Having a baby is an incredible responsibility and you say you love your dad so dont get the baby no matter what. Wait until your married and you have a good paying job
2006-10-12 19:53:19 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is extremely stupid and immature to continue with behaviors such as this. You're not even thinking beyond yourself, which just illustrates the fact that you are still too much of a child to be able to raise one successfully. This is not your fault. You're not done growing up yet. You are also not ready to be having sex, and you will probably regret your teenage years when you are an adult.
If you have a child now, you will subject your child and yourself to a life that is substandard. You are not physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially or socially ready to take on the responsibility of another LIFE.
As far as the situation with your father is concerned, he is probably assuming that if you go against what he wants you to do in this very major area of your life, then you are asserting yourself as an adult and do not automatically deserve to live under his roof. Again, you are a child. Act like one for as long as you can. There's plenty of time to be a grown up and a mom later.
2006-10-11 22:54:11 · answer #4 · answered by caylinn1996 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Choosing to have a baby right now, unprepared, is very selfish. Think about the baby. If you cannot support yourself then you can't support a baby. I myself was a teenage mother,(not intentional) even with the help of a parent, it's beyond difficult. My son is 9 now. He had to go without so many times, as a parent this will break your heart. It's not just you that has to make sacrafices, the child does too, and that's not fair, they didn't get to choose.
I can see you know what the right decision is, by your question. Be strong, your boyfriend shouldn't pressure you to take such a life changing step either.
2006-10-11 23:13:10 · answer #5 · answered by D N 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't have to have an abortion if you don't want to raise this child. You can go through the entire pregnancy and then give the baby up for adoption right away. Your father should respect that, but if he doesn't give him time to get over it. Living with your mother might not sound the most appealing, but I'm not sure you want to move in with your boyfriend and his mother.
If necessary, you could emancipate yourself from both of your parents, apply for state aid and low income housing, and try to find a part time job while continuing school. Young mothers are fully capable of fulfilling their life's dreams. Don't give in to your father and have an abortion if it isn't what you want, it's your body and you have the right to choose, that is what the law says.
2006-10-11 22:51:03 · answer #6 · answered by S. O. 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you said you don't want to do something stupid and you already are, let me tell you from a parents point of view my husband's 17 year old daughter just had a baby a few weeks ago, she had lots of plans for her future, and right now she See's none of them coming true, and neither parent are helping her and her boyfriend out, her boyfriend is now working 2 jobs to pay rent, food, and diapers. When you have a child your WHOLE life changes, you have to bring your baby with you everywhere, when you go shopping, go pee, out to eat everywhere, your social life stops because you can not bring a baby to the movies, and believe me your parents are working themselves they are not going to be a free babysitter so you can have fun. You need to think of the consequences before you continue playing adult. You Dad may very well kick you out and I don't blame him, He wants the best for you, but I don't think you want the best for yourself, YOU WILL DISAPPOINT YOUR DAD IF YOU DON'T START USING YOUR HEAD INSTEAD OF YOUR DESIRE TO GUIDE YOU. you need a reality check and I hope you do not find out the hard way. Tell your boyfriend to get a job and when you two can afford a place then take the next step.
2006-10-11 22:58:39 · answer #7 · answered by whattheheck 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no no no! finish your schooling!> go to medical school and be a nurse. GET MARRIED FORST OF ALL! but your still in high school! so what if HE wants a kid. who says HE will stick around . or deny it saying you cheated on him or something. please./ get on the pill. DO NOTHAVE A CHILD! strive for your career right now. im 19 and have been sating my bf for 2 years. we have talked about getting married alot but have decided to do all of our schooling first then have are carerrs going THEN get married. i suggest you do the same. who knows if he will change later on in life or in your pregnancy and leave you? its never guaranteed that someone will stick around for you. and theres a differesnce between SAYING SOMETHING AND ACTUALLY DOING IT!. so what if he says he'd let you move in, will he ACTUally do it? how do you know he wont make you pay rent or somehting. i know this is a tough situation, since i assume your love for eachother is strong, but your education is the most important thing you both of you right now, you do not want to be teen parents. please wait till you have a good paying stready job (career) finish up college, get married then have a child with him if he's still in your life. he will wait if he really cares abotu you. do you even have a good paying job? there was a statistic on the radio a few months ago saying that if you have a child now, form when it is born till it is 18 years old you will spend over $346,000 on it. thats alot of money.... thats over 19 thousand dollars a year! !! shoot. no highschooler makes that money kind of money! you and your bf probably dont make anything near that! so where would you go for the extra cash that you need? you need to take care of yourselves before you take care of a newborn.! on top of paying for gas, phone bills, car insurance, food. just for yourself. please please please do your schooling and everythign before a child. use protection and get on some birth contorl pills! it will be the best for the both of you in the long run.
2006-10-12 01:45:04 · answer #8 · answered by laa dee da 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't let anyone tie me down!! You have goals and you should focus on doing something with yourself first! That way, you wouldn't have to rely on anyone!! Your dad will come around! He just doesn't want you to struggle or miss out on your dreams!! Your parents cannot make you get an abortion. If you're not pregnant, get on the pill immediately and let your boyfriend know that there's no need in rushing to become parents!!! you both should try to get your lives situated and put the family life on hold!
2006-10-11 22:57:12 · answer #9 · answered by angellove 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should stick with your goals would you want all your friends graduating and you be left behind and nurses they make a good sum of money you should listen to your father your boyfriend dosen't need a baby because he is going to be the one graduating and you aren't have you asked yourself a few questions,Who is going to watch the baby while im at school?,How will I get the baby the thing it need?,Will I have time to work?,you should think about these things but if you want to have a baby go ahead no one can stop you.
2006-10-11 22:52:56 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Natasha♥ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Same relation with me and my dad. But with me, there just hasn't been a man worthy enough to ruin that relation. If you know that this man is THE man then go for it. There is a point in which a child must break the tieds between their patents and go with their mate. But if you are not sure and still have things you want to do, then talk to your boyfriend. Tell him that you still have things that you want to accomplish. Besides you guys are still young and have the rest of your live sto have kids. And if he really is the one he shall undestand.
2006-10-12 02:03:00 · answer #11 · answered by godfathermock 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋