we havent had sex in 3 years ,he wont take a bath,he treats me like a nobody,he doenst notice me,no compliments,were never in the same room for long periods at a time except when we go to bed,were always arguing.
2006-10-11 14:57:16 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
should i leave or stay
2006-10-11 15:08:30 · update #1
also i have caught him downloading porn off the internet this has been going on for a long time
2006-10-11 15:21:41 · update #2
You only live once...and everyone deserves to be happy...I'd divorce his @ss and move on.......free youself lady!!!!
2006-10-11 15:09:26 · answer #1 · answered by justmedrt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bless your heart. That has to be hard. I was in a bad relationship for 11 years where sex was withheld. It can ruin a marriage. Try taking a look into kama sutra. Learn some of the techniques and try to put some spark back into your life. If anything, it will give you back some confidence. Lord knows that you have probably lost some of that in the last 24 years! When I say Kama Sutra, I don't mean pornographic sites or the americanized version. I mean the ancient art of lovemaking from India. Kama Sutra means 'aphorisms of love'. This is the only sound advice I can give you. As you did not ask if your marriage was in trouble or if you should leave.
2006-10-11 22:04:49 · answer #2 · answered by lilmisstickletoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is so much that I want to say to you, but I just don't know where to start. First of all, let me say how sorry I feel for you. What you are going through can be so devastating to your soul and everything that you are. I know some people are telling you to leave him, but also sometimes things are easier said than done. Bottom line is, something has to change in order to find some peace and happiness in your life. You have invested 24 years of your life into this man, please don't just give up on him. From what you are telling us, it seems like the culprit may be the porn. The reason I say this, is porn tends to make you numb to what is real. The only way to save your relationship with him is to get his mind off of it. That is going to be tough, trust me! I dont know if you have faith in God, but your definately going to need his help. I wish there was something I could do or say to help you because I honestly know how you feel. Just please hang in there, and don't give up on him yet. Maybe if he understands that you are serious about this, then he will put forth some effort. God Bless You, and I wish you luck.
2006-10-11 22:34:35 · answer #3 · answered by Teresa G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has a problem with getting older. Men take it harder than women. It sounds like he is depressed. If you love him, I would stay and try to help him. The bible says that a single woman should put God first but a married woman puts her husband first. Try to please him, but give it a while. I would say if he isn't trying to be considerate of you after a couple of months, then you might consider counseling. Be sure to weigh all of your options before you make a decision. Pray hard about it.
2006-10-11 22:11:54 · answer #4 · answered by jennifer c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surely he was not like that when you first married him? You have to find out when did he start to change and the reasons for such behaviour.
There may be something you did or the way you treat him which triggered this? T ry to find out these, then talk to a relationship/marriage counsellor to see what need to be done.
2006-10-11 22:08:47 · answer #5 · answered by Peter_F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He won't bathe? I wouldn't sleep next to someone who didn't bathe. It sounds like he is having mental problems. Try persuading him to go to a psychiatrist and be evaluated. Or, you can try couple's therapy. If you aren't happy, its obvious he isn't, then try to either work it out or get a divorse. Married couples do things together, sex included.
2006-10-11 22:05:02 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you poor girl! why would you even want to continue in this? he has completely give up in the relationship. after this long all the advise we can give is about the marriage counseling. i am so down in my soul for you , 24 yrs. and this is all you get? honey i almost just want to say give it up! but try the counseling thing. and you utter a prayer every night before you sleep...
2006-10-11 22:06:00 · answer #7 · answered by lucy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try and ask him for couples counselling...
try and figure out the turning point where your intimacy ended
ask him whats bothering him
and if all else fails leave, you deserve to be happy - make sre oyu take care of the kids though (if you have kids)
2006-10-11 22:10:57 · answer #8 · answered by Meemah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SOUNDS LIKE ME. I FINALLY MET A REALLY NICE GUY. DIDN'T RUSH INTO IT. KNEW HIM FOR 4 YEARS BEFORE WE MARRIED. OF COURSE HAD TO WAIT FOR THE GREAT DAY OF THE DIVORCE. I'M SO HAPPY NOW. HE TREATS ME GREAT. AND I'M CATCHING UP ON THE BEDROOM STUFF TOO. YOUR NEVER TOO OLD FOR LOVE. HOPE THIS HELPS YOU.
2006-10-11 22:11:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've put up with bad body ordor, disrespect, no sex and etc.... what makes you stay with him when he's trying to run you off?
2006-10-11 22:11:03 · answer #10 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like advanced depression. He may need to see a doctor, if you can get him to go.
2006-10-11 22:01:47 · answer #11 · answered by Scott E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋