we are married but separated right now.i asked him if he is sure this is what he wants. he said he thinks this is best for right now. is he just trying to not hurt my feelings or does he really not know what he wants?we've been together almost 7 years.and love each other. we're just not in love . he wants to have sex still,but isn't ready to move back in. i don't understand. please help
2006-10-11 14:52:11 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can tell you really love your husband. Unfortunately, it seems as though he's gotten comfortable with the current situation. It's almost impossible to work on a relationship when you're apart. He is using you and you are enabling his behavior by allowing him to "be" with you. If you wish for things to be resolved, go to counseling or at least give him an ultimatum. He's getting the best of both worlds at your expense! Show some dignity and put your foot down!
2006-10-11 15:22:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course he still wants sex but he just doesn't want the committment. If you give him sex, he will not be ready to move back in any time soon.
If you do not feel love for him in other way than sex, he will find someone else who will. If you do not give him the attention and respect husbands crave, a willing woman will. It sounds like he already has found another.
Hire a PI to track him.
2006-10-11 22:57:09 · answer #2 · answered by lofolulu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a man....but I have had 49 years of experience with them. The last one relationship I had (5 years, 2 living together, no marriage) sounds a lot like yours. This man does NOT know what he wants, and he will continue to play you as long as you let him. Move on....even though it will be very hard (I know, it's been 2 years and I still miss mine) and please understand that it really isn't you....it IS his problem.
2006-10-11 22:15:58 · answer #3 · answered by littleflower_57 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't either. So the best thing to do would be close your legs, tell him to go find what he's looking for, and have a nice life. That may shock him out of whatever's going on in his life that's making him question this. But if you continue to support him and surrender to him physically, he will have ZERO incentive to change anything. He's having his cake and eating it too right now.
2006-10-11 21:59:52 · answer #4 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are not in love then i am so very sorry you need to move on.you can not save that marriage unless you two are in love. do not continue to have sex with him. he is just using you. he wants to go and do whatever he wants and whoever he wants but he come back to you for security. if he doesnt know what he wants and that includes your marriage after 7 years i think he wants out of the marriage. there is better out there for you. i am so sorry you are going through this. if not suggest marriage counselling that way you will have the peace of mind knowing that you tried to save your marriage. good luck to you.
2006-10-11 22:33:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no way he gets one or the other and tell him your looking else where this will speed up his decision
2006-10-11 22:08:00 · answer #6 · answered by John D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋