athiest + christian, possible relationship?

Question

have a friend, she likes me a lot she is a bible thumper big time and I am not. I am more like an athiest. She belives in tongues and I don't. She believes everything her pastor tells her. I don't. She really likes me and doesn't force religious stuff on me. I don't know what to do. We are exact opposites but when we hang out it doesn't matter. We enjoy each other. We spend a lot of time together. She is great in all respects except she is so religious and I am not... :(

We are close but exactly going steady if you know what I mean. She is very attractive, energetic, passionate, happy, positive, etc. she likes to cook, clean, stuff like that and she also wants to get married and have a bunch of kids. She is also very jealous.
I just don't know what to do and I am not able to ask anyone I know.

just don't know what to do and I am not able to ask anyone I know.
she doesn't force me to go to church but she does pray and sing and say stuff like god created the beautiful sunset, etc. to me. When she does I tell her to keep that stuff to herself. She seems ok when I tell her that we believe different things. I don't know what to do. Thank you for answering or reading. I would just love to hear about some experiences stuff like that cause I have absolutely nothing in my life to relate this to. I have never dated anyone so... religious

Thank you for all of your care for a stranger. So many great answers.
I wish I didn't need to choose just one.

Answer 1

Everything you like about her is based upon who she is mentally, physically AND spiritually. The spiritual part of her is a big part of who she is. If you are attracted to who she is - maybe a part of you is attracted to her spiritual side as well as the rest of her. If you want to persue anything with her - you just can't pick and choose what parts of her you like or don't like - it's not fair to her. If you are still interested in her, try to be open minded to her beliefs since they make up alot of who she is and what you are attracted to. Best Wishes.

Answer 2

Hi there theguynextdoor. Just wanted to tell you that I don't think it is gonna be a smooth ride for u. I beleive unless there is two of a kind n a relationship , there will always be problems. Can I ask you if it ever crossed your mind just why is it ur friend is so perky, and possitive? What do you mean by "like an athiest" either you beleive or you don't. As far as her jealousy, I would say she has good reason, not that you've done anything for her to feel this negitivaty, it's probably just there cuz of the difference in beleifs.If you are dead set on not changing your ways then If I were you I would have a serious talk with her and end the relationship now, and very gently let her know that jealousy is not Godly, and for her to be jealous is as much saying she don't trust you, without trust you have nothing. Jealousy is a nasty thing, it dont get better only worst. Definately rule out marriage cuz that kind of differnce in a mariage DOES NOT work.Don't want to bust your bubble but I do know of a married cpl.and she's a God fearing woman and her hubby is an Athiest, they live in 2 seperate apartments, they SAY they love each other and is there for each other and it's the best way they can get along. If you can figure that one out, your doin better than I.( lol ) Don't sound healthy to me, but to each there own they say. I'm not sure of what you meant when you said " like an Athiest" but if you don't beleive in God, then you realy need to let her go, cuz your lives will always be messy.But if you are a beleiver in God , and she is all you put her to be,then she's definately doing something right.Sounds to me she is high on life and maybe you should pay more attention and learn as ya go.Can't imagine why you wouldn't want to join her high. If it's a manly thing thats makn you feel so confused bout what to do, try looking at it this way, your ego one time verses a life time of love and happiness.Why not jump on that high with her? No, I'm not saying eat, sleep and breath religion, just be a bit more understanding and learn as ya go. I see lots to loose but much much more to gain. Hope this helps you and I didn't affend you in any way. Good Luck, and I hope it all works out for you both.

Answer 3

I went through this exact same thing where I was in your shoes. Here's the deal. Right now it's not a big deal. However, the longer this relationship goes, the more of an issue it's going to be. A lot of Christians believe they should be "equally yoked" with their parnters in everything. Religion being one fo those things. If you two end up getting married without this being address its going to be a very very difficult marraige. I see this with my girlfriend's parents. You need to be on the same page or at least have an understanding. Talk about it. A lot. Have discussions. Understand where each other is coming from. It's a good place to start. Good luck friend, I hope everything works out the way you want it to.

Answer 4

As a christian, married to a "catholic", and I put that in quotes b/c my husband is latino and my opinion is that most latinos are born catholic and until the day they die can never go to mass and still consider themselves catholic....that's the kind my husband is. He goes to church with me though but I feel like its only b/c I go or he thinks I expect him to go. If you two go further in your relationship if she is as committed as you say, your differences will definitely be a problem b/c she is going to try to encourage you to see things from her perspective, she's going to want you to believe in the things she believe and you might one day but it won't be over night and that can be frustrating. There is hope though if she's a patient person. Money does not make you who you are, your spirituality and your religious views plays a major role in who you are as a person and its definitely a part of you that you want to be able to share and connect with your partner/spouse on that level. So definitely if you do get married expect for her to change, she may not force religious things or you but get married, live together and especially have children, it will change.

Answer 5

i am a christian like her, and i know that our belief is that we need to share our faith with others. but it is not the best thing to force your religion on another. i would just look into her faith and get a better understanding of it. if you really feel that you cannot accept her religion, then don't go any further than friends. if you two got serious and eventually got married one day, what would your kids believe? this situation often leads to broken homes and much heartbreak. best wishes. may you come to find the truth. god bless

Answer 6

my guess would be that you were not brought up with god as a part of your home as a child. it's not easy to accept something you know little or nothing about. maybe you could give this a chance and possibly get something out it. maybe see a differant side of life in general. im not a religous guy, but i do believe in god, as well as the devil. i've lived both lives, and seen both sides.
there's a lot of good in the world, as well as bad. what would you rather do? god is real. you make the call.
good luck to you!

Answer 7

Personally, I would just walk away.
Different attitudes toward money is the number one cause of marital breakup, large religious differences are close.
The problem is that the atheist expects the religious member to grow more logical over time and it never happens. The religious one sets out to convert you once married because to them divorce is not an option for you. So once married they think they can end their period of restraint. Boom, incompatible.

Answer 8

I would say that the relationship could work out with two different sets of beliefs but you guys will have to talk about each of your beliefs with each other and decide how to handle it, keep in mind you should BOTH be open minded and consider each others beliefs, before you have kids make sure you know what religion or what beliefs you expect them to conform to.

Answer 9

good luck with your relationship, can you see yourself married to her, 5 years, 10 years down the road, each person doing, & beliving completely different things,will you still think that she is still that great? either you change for her or she changes for you, who will prevail? are you happy with it?

Answer 10

religion in a relationship shouldn't have to matter. Even if she likes to go to church and drags you along, you can believe that everything they say is bull, and maybe just enjoy time with her