Does any one have experience with using a mediator to failitate a divorce as opposed to an attorney?

Question

My ex husband and I have been seperated for quite some time. We have never bothered doing the paperwork because we have always worked things out on our own. We have nothing in writing but it has worked well. I am thinking we probably should get things formalized. A friend suggested that using a mediator can be much cheaper than an attorney. We hav children together so I want to make sure things are done right in case the breakdown of communication ever does happen. I am leary about using a mediator instead of an attorney though. Has anyone else used a mediator instead?

Answer 1

I used a mediator and it was the smartest move I made during the divorce. It was definitely much cheaper and because we both sat down with the mediator to work through things, it took less time, there was virtually no arguing, etc. We both estimate that we probably saved at least $20K by using the mediator. If you are in Northern California, I would be happy to recommend mine. One thing to note: The mediator did insist that each of us hire our own attorney to review the final divorce agreement. If your's doesn't insist on it, please do it anyway, both for the peace of mind and also the legality of the final judgment.
We also had a child involved. The mediator recommended a specialist who helped us with the terms of the custody arrangement.
I highly recommend this approach - especially if you have an amicable situation. Using a mediator not only avoids unnecessary legal fees, it also helps keep an amicable situation amicable.

Answer 2

A few yrs. ago I went for some advice at an Attorney Firm and a Mediator was explained to me. The terms sounded good to me----------------- IF you and the spouse CAN AGREE on everything, you go over all, sign papers and you don't need to step foot in Court!
(the best part, coz that can be draining!)emotionally and pocketwise.

The other part the Atty. said was, when kids are involved, say they are old enough to decide who they favor living with, if undecided the Mediator will ask them many questions then He/She decides who the parent should live with......Soul Custody.

Answer 3

My ex-wife and I used a mediator. It was helpful that both of us communicate even though we had negative feelings toward each other. We kept it cordial because we have children.

The mediator facilitated every aspect of what we would need in the divorce degree to include: spousal support, custody, child support, division of assets. It worked out but honestly I made more concessions but that's another matter.

So in a nutshell, it will work if both of you can communicate and compromise.