Me and my ex-hubby have broken up after 9yr together. We had our up n down but still work through them. We move to Texas to buy a home. Ok we got the home, he was so happy when we move in. but then two-three weeks into the home. he change. Everything change is mood ,everthing!!! Then one day doesnt come home n tells me hes doesnt feel the same for me. He say its not me. Im the greatest thing that has ever happen to him but it over... Ok this was a mouth n a half ago we broke up. He stills lives at home with me but we sleep in diffrent rooms. We've had sex in many occations. I dont get him?, he tells me he going to move out but he wants to help me out with the kids. He put them to bed then he leaves dosnt come home till 530 am. If he sleep some were else why is he still in my home?? Why his he doing this?
2006-10-11 13:52:21 · 41 answers · asked by nuri8281009 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he definitely has a girlfriend, maybe the girlfriend isn't ready to make a commitment to him. I'm sorry you are going through this. You must feel awful. Hope things work out for you.
2006-10-11 13:55:36 · answer #1 · answered by Backwoods Barbie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hard truth, the relationship might be over for good. you and he should remain civil because of the kids and you don't want to seem like the bad guy and the reason that you two broke up to the kids.
Honesty with your self. If he is sleeping somewhere else, he is probably sleeping with someone else. do you really want him back after introducing that to your relationship?? Would you want him back after he says he loves you and sleeps with another woman. What dose she have that you don't? After all you are the mother of his kids....
I would stop the sex, he can't sleep with god know who and come home to a home cook meal and a little dessert on the side. the next time that he comes in why don't you get dressed up meet him at the door and you stay out all night. Return and offer no explanation.. Try that on for a while and lets see how he likes those apples.
it is not about tit for tat, you just should let go and see how things turn. You deserve someone who will only LOVE you all the time not when you are the only option. You should be the first choice not the last.
I hope things work out and you get enough self esteem to be friends without benefits. Cause the way it is now he is the only one benefiting from your current situation.
2006-10-11 14:03:00 · answer #2 · answered by dee-dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still in that home?
Also, you had sex on many occasions. That's reason enough. He's treating you like dirt, and it sounds like you've been more than willing to put up with it. You're there when it's convenient for him. What you need to do is put your foot down. No sex, and if it's your house, kick him out. If he owns it, move. He's no good for you and he's no good for the kids. If he wants to help raise them, the monthly child support check will be just fine. And if your kids need a father, I'm sure when you're ready you'll be able to find a guy who treats you and them the way you deserve.
Ps. Everyone uses that "it's not you, it's me" line. He's just trying to sound like he's not as sleazy as he really is.
2006-10-11 14:00:15 · answer #3 · answered by answersBeta2.1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your ex is bi-polar, or with some other serious mental/emotional problem. Stop sleeping with him, that is the first thing. It just gives mixed messages to everyone concerned. He will probably always be in your life because of the kids, but I think you should make him move out because his behaviour is very disruptive to you and the kids and stability is very important to children. Dont try and understand erratic behaviour, do try and take a firm stand, see a lawyer and come to some kind of arrangement regarding custody etc. Sounds to me like the marriage was over a long time ago and he's just taking advantage of your confusion.
2006-10-11 13:59:21 · answer #4 · answered by majickgypsy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the woman he is having sex with must have her own family also. They both are waiting for something to happen so they can be together. Get a lawyer and divorce him and go back home to family where ever you are from. It's over.. you know it is because how could you ever trust him again.. you can't.. and with good reason.. he is a cheater and doesn't take care of his wife and kids. Sorry Sweetie, best of luck to you!
2006-10-11 13:57:40 · answer #5 · answered by Wolfeyen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My guess is that you are a safety blanket to him and he wants both the advantages of being with you and the "freedom" to sleep with whomever he wants. Another words he wants it all but not have the full commitment to anyone. Definitely seek counciling if that is available. Does it go both ways? Will he let you see whoever you wish to see? If not then there's some double standards going on my thought would be to find a more stable enviorment for the kids.
2006-10-11 13:56:21 · answer #6 · answered by Rich 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He wants his cake and eat it too. The longer he stay, the less years he have to pay for child support. Kick his *ss out. Tell him he is disrespecting your home. What are you teaching your kids. Love yourself more, do more for you. It's his lost. He doesn't know what it's like NOT to have you because you are always there...available. Get you a "new" life for you and he will come around. Right now, he is living the best of both worlds.
2006-10-11 15:29:37 · answer #7 · answered by sassy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe that certain spark in your marriage has finally gone out.A man sometimes realizes that he isn't free to be with anyone. Tell him he has to go. I f u don't want him in your home, don't hesitate. You can't force him to love you. It is time to move on and let the past go. Look ahead in the future. The only way to end the emotional and confusing suffering is to never see him again. If he doesn't want to be with you, don't cry and have a heart attack, he's the one whose missing out on a great relationship. Don't even worry about it/..
2006-10-11 13:58:22 · answer #8 · answered by Kimberly G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's doing it because you're letting him. You need to decide what you want and go from there. If you're happy having him part time, then leave things alone, but if you want a full time husband, you need to tell him to get help and work things out, or leave, so you can find a man that will love you, and be there for you 100%.
2006-10-11 14:07:45 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He wants to have his cake and eat it too.
He doesn't want to be in a commited relationship to you, so he is having sex with you but also getting it from other places. The minute he wanted a split you shouldn't have allowed yourself to have intercouse with him.
And, he's being selfish! If he thought you were the greatest thing, he wouldn't be leaving you.
So, next time he tries to come to your house, tell him to get out and go back to the place that he was staying at till the wee hours of the night.
Then, file for divorce.
2006-10-11 14:04:26 · answer #10 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋