top ten signs you're too old for trick or treating?

Answer 1

From the Lateshow with David Letterman:

Top Ten Signs You're Too Old to Be Trick or Treating


10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

8. You ask for high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.

Answer 2

10) You bite a piece of Laffy Taffy in half. . .and your teeth stay in the other part.

9) You pig out on Halloween candy, and the next day, your glucometer explodes.

8) Your ears have more hair than your Wolfman mask.

7) Somebody says, "Aren't you a little old to be trick or treating?" and you smack 'em over the head with your cane.

6) You get home with your sack of candy, and the only things in it are Tums and Ex-lax.

5) Your knees give out before you've covered half the block, and you have to call an ambulance to take you home.

4) You start opening your candy and realize that you don't recognize half the stuff in the bag. Just what the heck *IS* a gummy worm, anyway?

3) Without your glasses, you can't tell the difference between M&M's and chocolate covered cherries.

2) Someone slips Preparation-H in your sack. . .and you're actually happy about it.

1) You have to go the Big and Tall Shop to buy your costume!

Answer 3

there aren't any! you can never be too old for trick or treating, u may be too old to go up to people's doors and ask for candy, but that's like once you hit 25. u can still get dressed up! the only sign is when people star at you and go eww, not cuz ur costume, cuz of you! lol

Answer 4

You need the candy, not as a treat, but as a means of regulating your blood-sugar level.

You see the simpsons halloween special on in someone's home and wonder what the hell you're doing outside.

The last three doors you knocked on gave you all their junk mail and lawn/tree service business cards instead of candy.

Answer 5

1. all the costumes you wear make you look incredibly stupid, no matter what the costume
2. instead of treats neighbors scream expecting TRICKS
3. little kids make fun of you
4. NO CANDY
5. VERY LITTLE CANDY
6. Instead of trick or treating you get drunk
7.you forget its halloween all together
8. The idea of trick or treating sounds stupid
9. you have to work
10. NO CANDY

Answer 6

You have to shave first
You can buy beer
You have a drivers license
You own a car
You have a mortgage
You have a job
You have a kid
OK so that's not ten but here is some.

Answer 7

one thing is being to old and another is THINKING you are to old....
ur never too old!
period... i go trick or treating and im 17 and u sound much older when u say im three years away from 20 .... who cares!

Answer 8

Nice mask, but you're not wearing one.
Kids you take t or t get scared and run off.
Which fills first t or t bag or cholostomy bag.
Cant carry bag and walker at same time.

Answer 9

You are bigger and hairier than the people handing out the candy ( and you are not dressed up as an animal). Happy Haunting!

Answer 10

Your trick-or-treat bag/bucket is a pillow case.