Anyone else out there feel so lonely it seems hopeless to ever be happy again?

Question

I have been seperated from my wife for 3 months now and tonight seems the worst yet. It is like after we seperated she has become this cold stranger person who will not even talk to me. I feel just like the country song out there "like we never loved at all" I am so sad I don't know what to do with myself, anyone else out there feel this way, any good ideas what to do?

Answer 1

well I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel the same way about my relationship. I'm still living with my wife but sometimes I feel like she's not even there. What I do is concentrate on work and go for long walks and talk to friends on the phone. thats about it

Answer 2

This is probably the most difficult time of your life and what you are feeling is very normal. I appreciate the fact that you do not sound bitter. That is an excellent sign that you will heal in a healthy way and be able to move on with your life.

Three months is a very short time and no one should expect you to shut off your feelings and move on immediately but do try to keep busy enough to keep your mind off your wife.

There is no way to know how long you were married or why you broke up but perhaps with time apart and future counseling you can make a clean start.

Try to place this problem and your loneliness in God's hand and do whatever is placed in front of you to do. If you are not bitter and remain kind when you do have contact there is a good chance you can be reconciled.

Do not keep bugging her. Give her a chance to miss you and to get her own act together.

Answer 3

It's painful, but it's normal. You are going to have ups and downs (and primarily downs for now and in the near future) when dealing with a separation like that. Just try to keep in mind that no matter how horrible you feel now, you will feel differently in the future.

You might want to make sure you don't spend too much time alone. If you don't have anyone or anything to distract you, it's too tempting to just go over your pain again and again. So even if you don't feel like it, get out and go to a movie, call a friend and hang out, do any kind of activity or hobby that you've enjoyed in the past.

It's a cliche, but time does heal all wounds.

Answer 4

I am so in your boat, i had to read all of the answers, before i could respond to you. Everyone on here is right. It will get better, even tho u would probobly like to crawl in the box, and die, and no one would be none the wiser, right? I hit my rock bottom this past saturday, after hearing friends tell me they could tell that i was in a deep depression, and truly i had a feeling i had never had in my life, that i may not make it through this without some form of professional help....i sat down, had a rum and coke, listened to some Skynyrd, had a deep hard cry.....got up took a shower, dressed up, and went out for a girls night out....i found myself actually laughing again, talking and smiling...not another night of the 4 walls, the memories, and staring at the computer screen....when i woke up the next morning, i realized that i am still someone who people like to know, i am intelligent, and funny, and i have a lot to offer the right person.....and i realized that i will live through this, and i will survive. Thank God for my friends. focus on friends, rely on them, mend your broken relationships with them, they are few and far between. Focus on your family, they will be there when no one is. Make your home something you feel comfortable coming home to once again...Keep your priorities in line with your job, Thank God for the job, that can take your mind off this for a few hours...Dont forget who you are, find yourself again. There is someone out there who wants to love you. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 5

Been there...

Do: Find some calming activities for yourself to distract yourself.

Buy a relaxation tape.

Hang out with positive friends that she was not really close to if possible.

Join a divorce support group.

Watch funny or inspiring, but not love related, movies in the evening to keep you company.

Hang out with family if you have a good relationship with them.

Remember that this feeling is temporary...it will go away eventually.

Don't:
Jump in another relationship--there are a LOT of predators out there who may take advantage of your weakness.

Beat yourself up for what could have been...we are all human and all make mistakes. If it was meant to be those mistakes would have been tolerated.

Answer 6

Yes I definitly kow how you feel. I am separated from my husband now for 5 month. after a 20 years marrirage he refuses to talk to me and we have kids together 8 and 12. It is a process that you will have to take. But time will heal you. Just stay busy . Do something you like to do . It hard but in time it too shall pass. Hang in there because I doing the same things. Being a woman I mostly cry alot but sta ystrong and think about something you like to do , think and feel.

Answer 7

I dont know why you are separated, but it would surely help. I'll tell you, though, that you need companionship. Friends and family are should always be in our midst since they can always catch us when
we fall. I advise that you surround yourself with a few good acquaintances and frequent places such as the comedy club. Begin working out again since that will help you focus on life affairs. Take a cruise or a small vacation with some friends and get a fresh start. Only time will heal your pain and, yes, you will love again.
Mr. M on "lonely and happy again."

Answer 8

Boy do I know lonely!!! well actually lonely for love I'm very outgoing and always have fun. But when it comes to men boy I'm cursed! I always end up with the damaged goods. Hun its hard shes cold to you so she can get over you. It obviously didn't work out or maybe she needed some time apart ab sense makes the heart grow fonder. If she truly loves you she"ll be back if not it was never ment to be. If you love something set it free if it comes back it's yours to be if it does'nt it was never ment to be!
go find a girl you can have fun with be honest with her first girls appreciate honesty tell her your still hurt and not ready for love if shes cool shell hang out . and ya never know she may be the best thing that ever happend to ya. good luck sweetie! what does'nt kill ya only makes you stronger!

Answer 9

All that I have read says that it takes ONE YEAR to get to the point where it doesn't hurt like that. I look forward to that year. DON'T get involved with someone until then. My wife did, used him up and then spit him out because it allowed her to focus on something else but in the meantime deep down she was unhappy and sad. I read that we should live through the sadness, develop independence and then we have a much better and stronger person to put out on the market a year later. Good luck and may whatever God you believe in bless you.

Answer 10

Hey, I feel ya. I was out of school for five to six months with a mad cause of depression, migrains, and O.C.D. I know how it feels to be so lonly, believe me! Sometimes i felt so hopless!!! But trust me, life can be bette! I know it may seem likew things will never get better. I remember telling my Mom I'd never be able to go to school again. But now I'm living proth that sometimes m,ircles can happen. I once felt so unloved and hurt, but now I realized I was always loved all along, and so are you. I care for you, and so does Jesus Christ. He became my best friend, and I am now in a school, and on medication, and you can be helped too! I'll pray for you! -Much love,Liz