Why can't I let this go?

Question

I know that my husband loves me. I know that my husband thinks I am beautiful. But I cannot let go of the fact that, like most males, he enjoys porn. It hurts my feelings that he rushes home from work , turns on the computer, and looks for other women to make his pee pee hard. We have an aweosme sex life, so it's not like I am not satisfying him.... why can't I be enough for him? why can't I accept the fact that this is what he is going to do, and get over it???

Answer 1

because your heart is telling you that what he is doing is wrong. Now don't get me wrong, I think many many men struggle with this kind of behavior, including myself, but I acknowledge it is wrong, and I work on making my wife my only source of "things that make the pee pee hard".
Withholding sex is one of the worst things you can do in this case. He will have even more reason to continue his behavior because he would feel rejected. Nagging isn't good, and being critical won't help either.
Letting him know in a non-aggressive, non threatening way that this hurts you, and being a wonderful, cheerful wife to him are the only things that won't do more damage than good.
let us know how it goes.

Answer 2

Listen,

There is such a thing as a sex addict or a porn addict and the Internet is making this so easy to do. No, I am not kidding. I lived it. My husband was one. I wonder if they ever really recover. At any rate, pornography destroys marriages. Get him to get help. Porn is addictive. It is NOT a fact that he is going to or that he has to do this. It does not have to be this way. Tell him how you feel about it and ask him to get help. There is help if he wishes to get it. I could tell you to break the computer or disconnect the Internet or stupid childish crap like that. But you are both adults and most deal with this like adults. Now the rest is up to you.

Answer 3

Sounds like he has a porn addiciton. It's one thing to look at it every once in a while, but a totally different story to be "rushing" home from work to look at it. It's ridiculous. It's not really the porn I would have a problem with - if my husband rushed home to have a drink, to play a video game, or to e-mail people on MySpace every day, I would have a problem with it. Addiction is not good.

Answer 4

You have to look at it this way? would you rather him be cheating? I mean porn is porn...And I know it sounds crazy to you but some guys just like porn...but im sure he still loves you...men are animals and they have this crazy need to wanna spread thier seed all over the place.....He doesn't mean anything by it, its just in his nature. If anything I would try to be a part of it rather then going against it. Take pics of urself for him to ...ya know...Other then that its very hard to get him to stop....and im sure it really has nothing to do with you.

Answer 5

Porn addiction is a relatively new expression of adultery. I am one.
Porn addiction hurts the one we love and exploits others. I am one.
Porn addiction, if untreated, degenerates into viler and viler acts. I am one.
Porn addiciton has nothing to do w/ sex. It is about power for the male and degradation for the women. I am one.
Porn addiction can best be handled by a committed couple.
Porn addiction often needs counseling for both parties.
Alcoholics use the mantra: I am ---. I am an alcoholic. I've found it helpful to do similar, I am ==. Then to myself I add, PA.
You are plenty for him. It is not about you.
Please, never accept it. Please - for him, for all of us.

Answer 6

Girl, I feel you. My ex husband and ex boyfriend both loved looking at it. Wanted to watch it and look at it on the computer all the time. It drove me crazy until I thought about it. I can get mad and feel depressed about it, or just be cool with it. Obvisously I'm single again, so maybe that makes you think twice about the advice, but believe me, some times it's cool that a man wants to look at it. As long as he doesn't put it before you, it's all good. Maybe talk to him about it, maybe you'll feel better about it if he knows how much it's making you uncomfortable. :)

Answer 7

Porn is extremely destructive. It will not be long before he wants you performing acts you abhor. Also he will soon tire of normal sex with any female because he can only be aroused with pron.

He needs serious help. Without it I'm afraid you are in for a lot of heartache.

Answer 8

The guy has an addiction to porn. It doesn't have anything to do with you - it is his problem. He will not stop until he realizes that it is causing problems for both of you in your marriage. I hope you can convince him that he needs to remove all of this from the computer and stay away from porn of all types.

Answer 9

im with u honey, my husband doesnt do that disgusting thing thank god but i had many exes who did and it is so frustrating and makes u feel useless as a woman like u cant please ur man when u know u got it good together!! freaking porn shud have never been invented and u shudnt have to accept it, to me porn is for like single guys who get no action regularly

Answer 10

Hey I was going through the same thing but in my situation I didnt feel the connection we had everytime he would look at a girl like this I would distance myself from him because i felt like I wasnt enough,not pretty,and that he didnt want me anymore he told me all men look but it hurt me. I know there are other hot women out there but I felt like he wanted them not me. I have been told to ignore it but it is hard i know been there but as long as you have a good solid relationship and you trust him try not to let it bother you to much this is the advice I recieved from here keep telling yourself I am beautiful and he is mine and as long as your relationship is solid try not to let it bother you like it did me we almost split up [my husband andI] If it really bothers you talk to him. I hope you resolve this good luck.