i need some help here. you see my boyfriend use to hit me when he was drunk and he would call me ever name in the book. what did i do i stayed with him because i love him now this was over a year ago. well something happened last night that scared me to death. i was tring to help my boyfriend find something and i clicked on the wrong thing and he got so mad at me that he put his fist up in the air and i had a flash back and i thought he going to hit me so i hit him in the arm not even that hard and he kept on hiting me in my arm. i told him to stop but he did not listen to me.
you see i dont know what to do should just forget about it and let it go or should i leave him. i really dont know. he keeps telling me he did nothing wrong but i know damn well he did. he wants me to say sorry to him for what i did to him what about what he did to me. well i just know that i am not backing down. i am not going to say sorry to someone that hit me. we have been talking since last night.
2006-10-11 10:51:28 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
GET OUT NOW!!!!!! I mean it, get out of there before you have his kids and are tied to him forever. This creep is never going to change. He's even trying to act the victim. Leave him now or soon you will forget what it is like to live without feeling you have to watch everything you say in case you 'upset him' and 'make him hit you'.He will make it all your fault if your stupid enough to stay with him. GO NOW! PACK A BAG AND GO!!
2006-10-11 11:03:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all how did the hitting start in the last relationship and second of all is the thought that he might hit you again going to remain in the back of your mind. I agree that no matter what no woman should ever be hit unless shes a dire threat to someone or herself. either way what he did was uncalled for and i can understand what you were going through the moment his fist came up if you decide to stay with him i suggest not living together but if i were you i would not even allow or permit the hitting to even start the fact that he didnt appologize is a huge sign that he felt no remorse for hitting you. and if he is aware of your past relationship he should know better than to raise his hand and he should have respected you enough to not even think of it. i cant tell you if you should stay with him or not because it is your choice no matter what anyone tells you but in my opinion i would make that the first and last time that he layed a hand on you.
2006-10-11 11:01:58 · answer #2 · answered by baby girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away from him I know it is hard to do but trust me I went through the same thing a little over a year and a half ago, it will
never change and don't let him tell you that it was because he was drunk, he did do something wrong, let him suffer without you he is the way he is and will not change you need to get away from him and don't let him manipulate you into thinking that it was your fault in anyway. You will find someone better that will treat you right, even if it takes a while it will be worth it for you in the end. You sound like a smart person and I bet you always feel like he is wrong but he probably makes you feel like you are the wrong one? am i right? well I know because it happened to me, you just have to get away and you will be glad you did, Please take my advice seriously because if you don't you will be in a much harder position later, he won't change and It will happen again, men like this never get better they get worse.
2006-10-11 10:58:26 · answer #3 · answered by T agent 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Princess, you need to wake up!! This is the way abuse starts. Do you want to live a life of physical abuse? He needs help and you can not give it to him. I would guarantee that some where in his life he has been abused. It is a life cycle and he CAN break it but with help. You need to get out while the getting out is good. If he truly loves you he will do something about his problem. He needs help from a source other that you. Some times it is called tough love to back away but that may be what he needs. By staying you will be an enabler to his problem and possibly end up badly hurt in the future if he does not get help now.
2006-10-11 11:00:37 · answer #4 · answered by Margie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were is ur self esteem woman? Y r u even asking, u should be gone alrady. Its not a quistion of weather u love him or not its a quistion on how much u love ur self and ur self worth. How much do u love ur futer children, do u want ur daughter being with someone like that or or son toi grow up thinking its ok to hit woman. Whats wrong with u. Some day hes going to just snap on u and he could kill u or serisly hurt and make u handicaped. When peoiple like that get angry they black out and do no when to stop. think abotu it this way if u dont care enough about ur self to leave and make ur self happy then he sure as hell isent going to care. U need ( have) to leaver him, come u alrady new the anser to that one. Need to talk Email me aat ronharryhogwarts@yahoo.com
2006-10-11 11:00:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer to your question: leave him flat! Any man who hits any woman for any reason doesn't deserve to be in a relationship until they learn that violence solves nothing. A punch in the arm eventually turns into a punch in the face. And a band aide turns into a trip to the hospital--it never gets better, only worse. If you love him, leave him. If you hate yourself, stay with him. A leopard rarely changes his spots. There are plenty of men out there who would love and respect you. Dump the scoundrel!
2006-10-11 11:00:09 · answer #6 · answered by Hemingway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are not supposed to hit women. I know that women sometimes keep badgering a guy. To control his anger, he should walk away from her. The woman needs to realize that he needs space and give it to him. He should come back apologizing and likewise you need to figure out ways to discuss things without it coming to blows.
NOTHING is solved if he is continuously badgered and he losses control of his temper and acts out violently.
Your boyfriend needs to apologize for ever raising his fist to you. You need to accept it and I would suggest boundaries.
If he is unwilling to change his ways. You have no alternative but to get away from him. If he keeps going unchallenged, where will he stop? Suppose you break up with him and the next girl he encounters, he kills her or worse yet, he kills you.
He needs serious help and I don't think that you hanging around him is going to do it. Alcohol or Not. It doesn't matter, he's got a serious problem that needs to be dealt with professionally.
2006-10-11 11:02:51 · answer #7 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am going to tell you this from my heart. you really need to leave him. and i know that deep inside that you know you need to leave him to. it will only get worse. and no woman deserves to get hit by a man that so call loves them. if he really loved you he wouldnt hit you. it doesnt matter what yall been through or anything. the only thing that matter is that he hit you. and you dont need to take that. and you are putting your own life in danger. just be safe and do what is right. go stay with some one you know. a brother parents cousin sister friend anybody that you trust. you dont need to be around . i know you heard all of these stories about woman who got hit by the person that they love and the end up dying. i dont want that to be you. be smart follow you instincts. you deserve better. i really hope i helped. believe me i will pray for you.
2006-10-11 11:05:45 · answer #8 · answered by babyface_2400 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the bad thing is you hit him first. you should always wait till they throw the first punch. if he wasn't hiting you hard enough to hurt you i would say im sorry if you are. but if he was trying to hurt you i would show him the road. a real man does not hit a woman. but also when a woman puts her self in a mans place by hiting him she can expect to get hit back. even the most loving man has trouble holding his temper.
2006-10-11 11:02:50 · answer #9 · answered by Peace 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hit you the first time and you remained with him he knows that he can continue to do so. I am not telling you to leave your bf but he needs some counselling because once they are abusive from the get go it only gets worse as the relationship is more molded. Honestly my opinion is to get out while you can don't wait until it is too late
2006-10-11 10:54:39 · answer #10 · answered by amb1964 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋