My husband and I have been married for 18yrs with weekend. I have made arrangements for the kids to go to my parents and have been planning a nice romanic evening for the two of us. (he knew i was planning this!) food, candles, music, etc.... Then him and his friends, along with my sister decided that we were all going to go out to the bar with weekend and have some fun---not just a bar, but a topless one at that. My husband knows that this is not my thing and he also knows how important this weekend is to me. I have talked to him about it, but he says I just need to live a little and thank we can have dinner another time and celebrate our anniversary. I am hurt and disappointed at the same time. How would you feel about this?
2006-10-11 09:57:30 · 38 answers · asked by katydid 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I enjoy a good topless bar as much as the next guy, but you have every right to be upset I would be too. To me an anniversary is special time for the two of you,and the outing with another couple can be done another time I thik it was very disrespec tful of both your husband and the others to make tose plans ,especially when they knew you were planning a more intimate evening for just the two of you. I am lucky i have been married 19 years and every anniversary is a special night for my wife and i and no one else , these days when marriages dont last long an anniversary should be a celebration of lasting love and commitment,and not something to be dismissed as trite.
2006-10-11 10:14:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not fair. I would be angry, seeing as he knew about your plan in advance and decides to change it at the last minute. Also, if this is something he wanted to do, the least he could've done was let u in on it so that it would've given u both enough time to discuss it. Why don't u suggest a compromise with him? Maybe u both can go ahead with your original plan and then he can go out w/ his friends the following night?
The way I see it, an anniversary should be shared between just the two of u, not w/ everyone else.
2006-10-11 10:07:05 · answer #2 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure this is not the first time you have been disappointed, and as it was your anniversary, which you want to celebrate. Most men do not get attached to dates, to most of them it is just another day, yes you got married 18 years ago but that was then this is now, As for the topless bar, is it really so bad, I have been there and what would have been bad if it had been me stripping. But your husband wanted you to be part of the party. Have you ever thought he is trying to tell you something, when he said learn to live a little, Sounds like same old same old to me and he has lived with it for 18 years, come on freshen up your lives, you are not that old that a little fun would be so terribly awful
2006-10-11 10:10:56 · answer #3 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You have every right to be upset. You'd think that after 18 year he would know better.
I know what I would do in your situation - I would tell him I'm not going with him but that I was going to hang out with my girl friends. And I'd pour on the guilt about him not caring about the importance of our anniversary. If he decided not to change his plans, then I'd beat the snot out of him.
But my man is actually sweet (he has his jerk moments- which is why he has a couple of broken fingers) so I'm not sure how that approach would work with your husband.
Good luck. I hope you can get this resolved and have a very romantic anniversary.
2006-10-11 10:15:55 · answer #4 · answered by Spy Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every reason to be hurt and disapointed.If I was you I would refuse to go and even if he dont go and decides to stay home with you I would not go on with the special dinner you was gonna have him nor none of the romantic stuff you was gonna do for him.I would be too hurt that after 18 years of marriage he wants to go to a topless bar and watch a bunch of slutty bimbos without tops on.He is just so wrong.I dont know you or him but he has my blood boiling right now.
2006-10-11 10:16:42 · answer #5 · answered by darlene100568 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a jerk... He could pick any other day to go to a "topless" bar. Your anniversary should be shared between you and him. If my husband went to a topless bar on our anniversary, he would be getting a phone call from my divorce attorney the next business morning...
2006-10-11 10:07:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-27 22:25:49 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell him no, I'm not going to a topless bar and celebrating our anniversary with other people. We made plans and he needs to be man enough to stick to those plans. And I will call and inform his friends and my sister to not expect us. If he wants to be a jerk about it I can solve that problem real quick, I can be a bigger jerk than him.
2006-10-11 10:23:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to spend your anniversary alone....then stay home and let the jerk go. I would say to you leave the house after he's gone. Go to a nice motel.....maybe one that has pampering massages, etc. Treat yourself to a lovely dinner. and Stay in the motel....over night.
Leave a note...where your husband can find it when he gets home and wonders where you are. Just say: Honey....I've gone to spend a nice alone time weekend for MY anniversary....see you soon.
Your husband will be frantic. Don't carry your cell phone ...he'll have no way to contact you. TRUST me he'll think twice about having his priorities in order before he plans an alternative to your anniversary!
2006-10-11 10:21:26 · answer #9 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would also be very hurt! If he already knows how important this weekend is to you and still is insisting on going to this "topless bar" he is being very cold! I"m very sorry for your feelings! Good luck hope everything goes well!
I don't' think you are over exaggerating!
Congrats on 18 years!
2006-10-11 10:22:23 · answer #10 · answered by pretty lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋