Will getting married in college at a young age make it difficult on the relationship/school work?

Question

Is it better to wait until after college or is it better to follow your heart and get married young? Please answer with what age you got married and the stuggles or successes you encountered. Thanks!

Answer 1

marriage is hard work any way you look at it. age has nothing to do with that.
if you both love each other and commited then the fact that yall have school work shouldn't matter.

Answer 2

Marriage is honorable and given lots of work and determination does last. However, when both parties are not whole or at points in their own lives where they seeking individual dreams and goals and they do not have a common dream and focus, what may appear like a good idea becomes a horrible mistake.

I am not discouraging you from marriage however I would suggest that you seek pre-marital counsel prior also sit down and talk about the reality of who you both are (bad habits and traits) discuss financial handling, in-laws, rearing children, handling disagreements,where will you live, the car/s, hobbies and likes, the TV remote, toothpaste and toilet handling, weight gain and loss, bad breath and morning face, if you get sick, and lastly your sexual needs and desires.

A person does not complete you, they complement you so do not seek to go into marriage looking for completion and having dreams fulfill. Unless you are both prepared to deal with the fact that the glitter only will appear at the ceremony, then you are not ready.

As someone who wants to be married soon, I have had sought the counsel of those who have been married for more than 10 years, becuase they have fought, quarrelled, disagreed and still are holding on to each other. The biggest lesson I have learnt is this.

Emotions tell you to do something NOW but time makes you realise that patience and understanding help you to make better decisions and choices.

Answer 3

I think it very much depends on the individuals and how well you know each other, trust each other, and how compatible you are. If you have a great, balanced relationship, you can be very supportive of each other during the college years, and grow much closer than if you wait. On the other hand, if you do like I did and marry young (at 19) to someone you don't know well enough, who is not supportive of your goals, you might find yourself in a no-win situation with someone who wants to compete, and that's a real drag! Maybe the two of you could have a sit-down with a counselor or older person that you both trust, and talk about it openly--you know, discuss all the facets and see what you think after that. Hope that helps!

Answer 4

I got married 2 weeks after I graduated high school. My husband is 3 years older than myself and we have had some struggles, both being young, but I wouldn't have changed it for the world... I'm getting ready to being college in the spring and my husband supports me all the way... No matter what age you are when you get married there will always be struggles, but work them out and everything will be just fine.

Answer 5

Ive been in nursing school for the last year and half and maintained a relationship with my now fiance. We are planning on getting married in may, i graduate in dec. But I lived on student loans and didn't work much at all so I had more free time than those who work and have found it harder to maintain a relationship. If you guys are willing to work it out no matter what and know what you are getting yourselfs into and work at the relationship, support one another and still make one another the main priority than you can do it.
Another thing to consider now is research that saying your brain doesn't completely develop until about age 25 and in the years leading up until then supposedly you go through those 'wild' times, but if you and your guy can keep up with each other... more power to ya.

Answer 6

You can follow your heart as long as you are willing to battle the college and spouse and mange them well. If you dont think that is possible I would say study then marry

I am 22 about to be married already graduated 2yrs ago with a BSc and I aslo have an associate degree.

But I am studying my professional exams have a young baby (8mths) and live with my fiance soon to be husband. Its not easy to manage all but if you are really willing it will work.

Answer 7

Why get married if you have to devote so much time and energy to your studies, and afterwards devote time and energy to your career? How will you be able to be a proper husband or wife if you haven't established yourself in life yet? Following your heart sounds a bit immature. Marriage is based on more than feelings or going in whatever direction your heart leads you. Think with your brain and if you love the person, take the time needed to build a strong foundation that will stand the test of time.

Answer 8

It depends on your commitment to each other and your commitment to your school work. People can make any situation work, if they are willing to lay aside their selfishness.

In some ways being married might make it more difficult, but in many more ways it could make it much easier being together and working through your problems together. It's important that each of you be SUPER supportive of each other, should you marry and then finish college.

Answer 9

I got married when I just turned 20. I was married for one year. Needless to say I'm currently separated working toward a divorce. I think you should finish school first. Get married when you are older, sometimes people marry too young and fall out of love quicker than they fell into it. Good luck!

Answer 10

Honey, PLEASE PLEASE WAIT until you are BOTH out of school. You can get engaged and just ENJOY life! When you are in college, you get to travel more, hang out more, do a lot more things with your life then you can when you get jobs and go into the real world. You will be hard pressed to find any job out there with a Christmas, Thanksgiving, Spring, etc. Breaks!!!!

I got married at 25 the week after my husband graduated school. We thought it was a good idea because we could go on a honeymoon before he started his job. However, I wasn't finished with school yet. After we got back from our honeymoon, it was miserable. Robert was stressed from trying to find a job, and I was stressed from going to class and working and still finding time to spend with him.

Then, 5 weeks after we got married, I found out I was pregnant. This was June of 2005, and I have yet to get back into school. We have moved three times, two different jobs, and I am no where NEAR my school, so I will have to transfer.

While this is an extreme case, things like this DO happen when you get married. Jobs, classes, no free time, bills, health insurance (which you LOSE if you are still on your parent's coverage once you get married), etc. The stress adds up. Finish school first, find jobs, then get married. If you can make it through that MAJOR change in your lives, then you can make a marriage work!!! Don't rush it, and enjoy your young life.

Answer 11

Everybody's different, only you guys will know for sure. But, I have found that balancing school work and relationships can get pretty hard, and marriage is serious work, too. I know what it's like to be in love and want to get married...but think of it this way: when you get married, it's because you want to be with your partner for the rest of your life. So waiting a few years to get married is just a drop in the bucket. You have your whole lives ahead of you.

Good luck.