how can i make my old school catholic mother understand....?

Question

my 16 year old sister was caught at school kissing another girl. at this point my sister is saying that this is the first time she has done this but my mom has completely over reacted to the situation.
at her high school there are a lot of openly gay students and on her colorguard team there are a lot of lesbian girls and the coach is openly gay. my sister has had her share of boyfriends but obviously she curious about her sexuality which i think is normal but how can i try to make my mom understand that my sister may just be experimenting? this is what high school kids do. they experiment with all kinds of things sex, drugs whatever.
in the end, no matter what my sister decides, i will always love her but my mom is so closed minded, i'm afraid how her negative attitude is going to affect my sister.
i've kissed a girl or two in my time and i'm not gay...it was just something i tried. but what do i do about my mom? and how can i comfort and shield my sister from my mom?

I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU ALL FOR THE ANSWERS YOU HAVE GAVE. I'M GOING TO TRY MY BEST TO STAND BY MY SISTER AND BE THE PERSON THAT SHE COMES TO TALK TO. THERE'S OBVIOULSY NO CHANGING MOM SO I KNOW THAT I NEED TO BE THERE FOR MY SISTER. THANKS AGAIN TO ALL OF YOU.

i wish i could pick so many of your answers as the best answer. thank you all.

Answer 1

Uggh, that situation just sucks all around. No, you prob can't sway her opinion at all. She's been set in her ways for a very long time. What you can do, is try to help her understand. Little by little, step by step.

I disagree with you telling your mother at this stage because unfortunately right now, you're the only voice of reason and telling your mother that you've kissed a girl or two will just break the only open link available right now. You're not a lesbian, you kissed a few girls, like that's something new?

Just be there for your sister right now and try and act as a medium between the two. Let your mom know that the way she is acting will hurt her more in the end. Whether or not your sister turns into a lesbian or not is nothing compared to her losing your sister completely. One of my bestfriends was kicked out of the house for fooling around with a girl (thrown into boarding school in another state) and she's moved on and is happy these days...her mother...not so much. Also let her know how much this is obviously hurting you.

She just needs your love right now. I wish you all the best.

Answer 2

The best thing you can do for your sister is talk to her and let her know about your support for her, that is the biggest gift you can give her. As for your mom, Go to http://www.pflag.org and print out as much info on being the parent of a lesbian/gay/bi child and give that to her and let her know that your sister is just exploring her sexuality and this may not be her lifestyle but if it is this is information she may need. I also suggest if her coach is an inteligent and easy to talk to open lesbian have her talk to your mother about the fact that GLBT people are no different than any other people in America that they have families and attend churches and own homes and cars and pay taxes and are very upstanding individuals. Possibly there may be a local GLBT adult group that your mom may be able to meet that could introduce her to some upstanding GLBT people in your local area that will show her that the steriotypes that she is used to and is probably going on are not always true about all GLBT people. It may show her that we are Professional people and many times we are people she has come in contact with every day and even liked very much. She has probaly even said about us "why isnt that a nice young lady/man" and didnt even know she was talking about a GLBT person. So show her the responsible side of GLBT life. Get her away from the stereotypical GLBT person. You know the one that is on T.V. the one the right wing christians would like you to see so they can keep us oppressed.

Most of all thank you for loving your sister no matter if she is GLBT oriented or Straight. as you know we as GLBT people accept her either way!
Wife (the femme of the duo)

Answer 3

I don't think you can make your mom understand. Although if she is allowing your sister to go to a school that seems open about these things, then maybe she could be ok with it once you explain. Perhaps by telling her you tried kissing a couple of girls she'll see you went through the same phase. If later on your sister does decide she is a lesbian or bisexual, just be there for her, I am sure she already knows that though :)

Answer 4

As for working on your mother, try to get to the bottom of why she's reacting the way she is and deal with that. It may just be the PDA part, or it may be the orientation issue, or it could be that she's being confronted with the fact that her little girl is growing up and reaching that age where she's exploring and finding herself. Just try to get to what the actual issue is. Sit down with her and have a calm, rational conversation about it.
As for your sister, if your mom continues to be that way become someone that your sister can confide in and trust. She'll need an open-minded person to counterbalance the negetivity that she's receiving from her parental figure.

Answer 5

"Everyone does it" is no excuse. First of all, not everyone does it. Second, even if everybody did, you cannot use that fact to determine a given action's morality. Just because something is popular or socially acceptable doesn't mean it is morally proper.

I doubt you mom is as close-minded as you think. Simply dismissing her, and claiming that "no matter what my sister decides" you're with her, proves you to be close-minded.

It's more likely that your mom has chosen to do things God's way rather than man's way. Your mom is trying to follow Jesus's example, and in doing so, trying to get you and your sister to follow hers.

There is nothing wrong with conveying a negative attitude towards bad behavior. Doing so can only have a good effect on you and your sister, if you give your mom as much consideration as you've given you color guard team. To not do so is treating your mother unfairly. Remember the Commandent Thou shall honor thy mother and thy father.

Answer 6

Its your job to just be the loving supportive sister that you are. You can not change your mother, if your mother brings it up just keep acting like she is over reacting.. Joke around about it with your sister.. Laugh with your sister and tell her oh my god mom is going to have a cow. Tell your sister you lover her and support her no matter what.. Tell her your experiences... As for her dealing with your mother, she will survive because she has an awesome sister like you.... You cant change your mom, your mom with deal with it in her own time... You only have control over you..

Answer 7

you could tell your sister that catholics are very straight up in their ways. your mum may eventually come to her senses but if she never, she will always love her children. That's motherly instinct.

Let your mother say her bits and pieces even though it hurts real bad but do comfort your sister every time she does so. Remind your sister that your mother could not understand her because your mother is bought up in the catholic faith which is a very strict faith where they don't question its teachings and its authoritative figures. Ask your sister to be tolerant and forgiving of your mother and when the anger has cooled (which will take a while), she could explain her 'situation' bit by bit to your mother.

And ask your sister to never kiss in front of your mum until she's tolerant of her 'situation'.

Answer 8

moms hardly ever understand, but u can really tell these things that u've told us...Your own example is very impressive..For the moment just convince her that this is just curiosity..If things turn out to be different..then u plan your new strategy together."The B plan" (if she really becomes a lesbian) (that's the next step)
How lucky she is to have you by her side...congrat s

Answer 9

a pair of 365 days in the past I had the best comparable subject a pair of 365 days and a 0.5 in the past. i needed to return to my faith. whether i became baptised Catholic, my mom is extremely lax in her Catholicism, and my father infrequently approves and is extremely illiberal of my ideals. each time I point out something approximately my faith he desires to bypass on the offensive. you in basic terms ought to tell your mom what you prefer. If she would not approve (which i'm specific a pentecostal would not), do each little thing you may on your means devoid of disobeying your mom. yet you ought to comprehend that God is with you on your selection. you ought to additionally renowned there are over one billion Catholics you may consult with. at the start, you may desire to verify that Catholicism is extremely what you're attracted to. consult with Catholics(notably get to renowned a close-by priest), attend a mass (in basic terms be conscious sitting down and don't partake in Communion), pray to God for help, examine your Bible, and proceed to do examine. I long for the day you will receive communion with us. in case you have any questions in any respect, be satisfied to message me, and that i'll objective my suited to describe issues. Pax.

Answer 10

Tell your mom what you told us that you kissed a few girl in your time but are not lesbian. That should help.