well me and this boy dated on and off for about a year. he broke up with me three times and this time its terrible. (im 15) im always looking around to see him in the hallways, my self esteem is low, i say i hate him but i dont know if i mean it cause im always looknig for him..its always him who comes back and im afraid if he tries to tlak to me again i'll lose it and end up back with him again how can i get over this quickly so that if he comes bakc i can stay away from him instead of being manipulated back into this situation?
2006-10-11 09:32:27 · 11 answers · asked by hugznkizzez101 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just keep yourself busy with other things hon. It will get easier with time. I promise. :)
2006-10-11 09:42:26 · answer #1 · answered by Ladybug 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, as a former 15 year old, I know that this situation doesn't just suck for the change in relationship status, it's a complete lifestyle change. With all lifestyle changes, especially those that you didn't choose, it's like learning to walk all over again.
To make this short - I'll pass on the best piece of advice I was ever given in a situation like this: Keep yourself busy - don't wait for anything or anybody. This includes him. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and forget everything else in your peripheral vision (the things that don't matter and the things that distract you from getting yourself together).
As far as not going back - the only person who can stop you from going back to him is you. You have to decide that this is it - make a list of all the bad crap that will happen if you do go back. Add everything that you can think of. This includes worst case scenario stuff - everything down to what if we wind up with kids when we're older and he decides to walk out on me again? Things like that.
I found that the hurt I felt from a breakup isn't due to the person in question - it was the situation itself that hurt. To this day (I'm 29 now, married with two kids and in college) - I can remember the pain and sting of certain breakups (the first ones are the worst by far!), not because I still feel for that person, but because I remember the misery I experienced. I retrospect, it wasn't the person that I was so attached to - it was the relationship, the status, the social interaction, and all the stuff related to those that I really missed. Really, because the guy was a royal jerk and a crappy boyfriend. (Sound familiar?)
As much as this sucks - time is the major factor in healing and getting over this. Don't worry about the little stuff - it'll get better. I promise.
2006-10-11 16:57:21 · answer #2 · answered by baabaababy77 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE....don't make the same mistakes I have!!! You're 15, and I wish at 15 someone would have given me honest advice about things like this. I'm 36, divorced, and have still made those same mistakes until very recently. Don't EVER let a man be the cause for your happiness (or the cause of your unhappiness!). You can feel sad if things don't work out with someone you really like, but just realize that you're worth a lot more than he's willing or able to give you. Love yourself first....because NOBODY is going to love you as much as you should love yourself. When he senses that he might lose you for good, he'll always come back because it's then that you're being challenging....and men LOVE the chase! But unless you want to spend the rest of your life playing this game over and over again, DON'T give in to him! Good luck....and stay strong.
2006-10-11 23:28:37 · answer #3 · answered by magnolia3246 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Learn to dance. Seriously. I've been bellydancing for five years, and I've not found anything nearly as good for the self-esteem and self-image. When you know how to dance, you can walk right into the middle of a social situation (school dance, party, teen club) and take control of it by owning the dance floor. And that sort of confident command is SEXY!
And don't EVEN give me any excuses about how you're too fat to dance. I weigh 315 pounds, and I get plenty of serious and sincere compliments when I perform. It's all in the attitude.
2006-10-11 16:45:33 · answer #4 · answered by Katie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u cant get over him, but you just have to convice your self that it was for the better, if he doesnt like u and that is why u broke up, than isnt it better than having a boyfriend that doesnt care about u and would leave u if u were down? hang out with friends and do things u enjoy most, or look for a new guy if that works. good luck!
2006-10-11 16:43:07 · answer #5 · answered by Amineh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww, honey i feel for you, really! time heals all wounds and believe me it will get better. i was in that exact same place when i was 15 and it does suck... boys are evil! all i can tell you is that be positive, and if you feel like talking to him do so - you have to learn to release your feelings other wise they will eat you up inside, surround yourself with friends and family and if he does come back just tell him no. the more you do that you will have control over him; he will see that you are strong and aint gonna put up with him anymore .. you are to young to deal with this, you have your whole life ahead and should be focused on other things other than boys.. good luck ;)
2006-10-11 16:47:12 · answer #6 · answered by blahblahblah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my gosh, i'm going through the exact same thing right now. I try to move on and just when I start to do good he pulls me back in. I'm trying to focus on school and just having fun with my friends. You should try that too. I know it's hard, and its good to cry once in awhile and feel sorry for yourself all you want. These guys have no right to play with our feelings.
2006-10-11 16:38:20 · answer #7 · answered by wendydahhling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what u are going through iam 27 and i can not deal with it either he does the same thing to me i need help to
2006-10-11 16:55:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
time
2006-10-11 16:34:16 · answer #9 · answered by clair 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just find someone els that u love more
2006-10-11 16:35:01 · answer #10 · answered by under looked 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋