Everybody steps on me like I am a stair. How I can be more assertive? I am afraid to hurt others feelings but what happen is that I always hurt myself being like this.
2006-10-11 09:25:54 · 6 answers · asked by Ann-Elise 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
The first thing I would suggest is pinpointing any specific situations in which you feel you are being stepped on. Is there anything similar between these situations? What are you telling yourself about these situations? Talking about this with a therapist may help as well. I am a big believer that you can't control other people but that you can control your thoughts and reactions.
There are times when I feel I am being stepped on as well. Important things that have helped me are to monitor my thoughts about myself throughout the day. If I talk to myself like I am worthless then I will give off a worthless vibe. Challenging and correcting negative thoughts about myself has helped me become more assertive. Taking quiet time for myself helps me get in touch with what I really want. On your statement about hurting other people's feelings: If you are stern yet polite with people, most of the time they won't be upset with you. If you feel you were right in expressing yourself and someone does get upset or hurt feelings, frankly that is their problem. Sometimes there is conflict. You have to be level headed about dealing with it. If you upset someone, it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. Other people can have trouble with taking criticism, answering questions, etc. Speaking up for yourself is a way of taking care of yourself.
Remember that a lot of people want to be more assertive and that you can be more assertive with out being a loud demanding you-know-what.
Hope this helps.
2006-10-11 09:42:46 · answer #1 · answered by R_H_P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a process you need to go through, that makes you decide you want to act differently. Has to do with self esteem, etc. You have the right to be treated a certain way, you just need to be convinced of that. Assertiveness is fine, as long as you do not become aggressive.
There are course, classes, various approaches (hypnothery, coaching etc). Look on the web. But it is a step by step learning, based on deep beliefs. No doubt you will make progress there.
Good luck to you.
2006-10-11 09:35:30 · answer #2 · answered by Claire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get "stepped on" occasionally. It may be the same thing as happens to you -- I am an empathetic person, even though I know it's the right thing be an empathetic person, some people take advantage of it and this can't be helped.
Stay the course. Be nice. But realize some people only look out for themselves.
Consider your eye contact. This could very well be a contributing factor.
Take Care.
2006-10-11 09:31:49 · answer #3 · answered by AntiDisEstablishmentTarianism 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It only takes a few times doing assertive things for you to realize the difference in that and aggressive actions .
No one needs to be a door mat . Stand up and be counted !
2006-10-11 09:29:33 · answer #4 · answered by Geedebb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your a decent person who respects other peoples feelings. If someone is stepping on you let them have it. If they get mad tell them If you cant take it dont dish it out.
2006-10-11 09:32:30 · answer #5 · answered by Captleemo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They don't seem to have a problem hurting your feelings, so why are you concerned about hurting theirs?
2006-10-11 09:28:16 · answer #6 · answered by WHITE TRASH ARMENIAN 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋