What age is the best time to start the "cry it out" method?

Question

I don't want to start too soon, because I believe newborns cry for a reason and should be tended to immediately, but when is enough enough? When it is clear that they are only crying to get attention in the middle of the night every half an hour and will only sleep being held or in a swing, at what point do you let them start to cry it out?

I am by far not a "lazy parent" thank you very much. I have a very active, happy 3 1/2 year old, a 2 month old, and run an in-home daycare with four other preschoolers. I spend sun up to sun up to sun down with kids and love every minute of it, however at night I would like to be able to put my daughter down! I don't think this is being lazy. I swaddle her and cuddle her and sing to her and read to her...the problem is that then she screams when I lay her down and doesn't stop until I pick her up. Am I just supposed to sit up and hold her all night long? I think wanting more than half an hour of sleep is normal, not lazy.

She goes right to sleep when I pick her up, I know she is exhausted but won't sleep unless being held. I just wasn't sure if it's OK to start this at 2 months...thanks for those that are answering this positively.

Answer 1

Children understand more than most people give them credit for even at a young age. My son is almost a year old and still goes through this at times. I started both of my children on the cry method at very young ages. I would lay in bed with them and say " I'll hold your hand and sing to you, but NO I'm not holding you right now because it is bed time or night-night time." They have to be reassured that you are not going to leave. You are your baby's security blanket and the baby feels at ease when he/she can hear YOUR heartbeat.

It's not laziness it's called wanting to still be a good parent in the morning and that's not possible on just a few minutes of sleep.

Good luck with your baby and I hope it gets easier for you soon.

Answer 2

Crying to get attention is a reason, and a very real need that babies who can't tell time need to have filled. There is a time to set boundaries with your children, but the first 2 years are what build their foundation of trust with you. Even if it's a stage that seems to drag on, I've never heard of a teenager still needing to be rocked to sleep, have you?
Crying is the only form of communication babies have. A tip for when your baby is a little older, maybe 8-10 months, start teaching the baby some sign language. Mine learned 'milk' and 'more' and there was less crying and frustration on both sides.

Not that all children are the same, but I did do cry-it-out with one child and now at 2 yrs. he is very fearful of the world and the clingiest.

Well, hope I don't sound preachy. Just food for thought. Parenting is full of decisions like this and we all do what we think is best. Congrats to you on your new little one!

Answer 3

2 months does seem a little early. However babies do catch on quick. I had a hard time with my last one ( I have 4) because he was preemie and the nurses were always picking him up in the hospital! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRR anywyas, I started about 8 months when I knew they could roll over make themselves comfortable and whatever. 2 months I htink is still in the coddle stage. I wish you all the best and I do know frustration! If you ever want to talk to another mom you can im me!

Answer 4

If you let the "baby cry it out", you're telling them that you don't care about their needs. It does a lot of damage to their developing empathy. I rocked both of my babies to sleep until I thought that they were ready to learn to fall asleep on their own. For my son I let him "cry it out" at about 14 months, and my daughter about 13 months. They were toddlers. I wouldn't suggest letting a baby cry it out. If your having trouble with the baby crying and needing to be held and rocked your baby may have a lot of gas. I know its so hard when you wake up in the middle of the night every 3 hours to feed to then sit and burp the baby for 10 minutes until it gives up the gas, but it's worth it when they sleep for another 3 hours. I only think the baby may have gas because it hurts their bellies when they lay down. When they are sitting up in a swing or being held upright or rocked it makes their bellies stop hurting. When a BABY is crying there is always a reason. Don't let your child cry it out until they are a toddler. A toddler can tell you what's wrong but a baby can't. And I too congratulate you on your new baby. Have fun and don't be afraid to ask for advice.

Answer 5

4-5 months...believe me, they are much smarter than we think. They catch on quick!!! My son is now 8 months old and for his naps, he would only sleep a half hour starting at 4 months and then wake up, I could not get anything done... i did the cry it out method and had to put up with it for 3 days but now my son is 8 months old and since the cry it out method...he will take a 2 to 3 hour nap. Never had a problem with him at nighttime, Go figure! he's a more happier baby with the longer naps

Answer 6

No earlier than 6 months. If a baby is still night waking before that it's because they still need the nutrition. After 6 months it's no longer necessary.

Answer 7

There really is no set time to begin, use your own gut instinct on this one. If the child has a clean diaper, is fed, and otherwise taken care of you shouldn't feel guilty for allowing them to "cry it out". Some children learn very early on that crying gets them attention and they develop very irregular sleeping or eating habits that become problematic for both Mom and baby. This doesn't make you a "lazy parent" at all, it makes you one that wants a psychologically stable child.

Answer 8

6-8 months is when you should start the cry it out method. It's a bad habit to get into if you start holding them or putting them in the swing to get them to sleep. Eventually they will outgrow the swing and then what are you going to do? And obviously you don't want to be holding a 20 lb. child every night trying to get them to sleep. Put them in their crib and let them cry it out. They need to learn how to put themselves to sleep and interaction from mom and dad won't help that.

Answer 9

I started about 2 months old. He just wouldn't go to sleep if I rock him or whatever (he only wants to nurse to sleep and i don't let him) plus he got so cranky at night that i found if I let him cry for five min and if he was still crying pat his back for a min and let him know I love him and he's ok and then before the 2nd five min went by he was asleep. It's easier and he doesn't seem to mind at all. Don't listen the mothers who try to call you lazy you will know whats best for your baby...

Answer 10

I think it's different for every baby. I started my son at 4 months. But I did to ease my son into it, i started doing it during his naps, cause it just worked better for the both of us. And he got more tired from all the crying and ended up sleeping better during the night!!