She &I get along ok,but in our dorms we share the bedroom.
I wake up one morning &they were in bed 2gether.Today, I'm getting ready for bed he comes over,&asks if she is gonna leave the door open she says yeah.I pretend not to hear.(so she knew she he was gonna stay) He comes and lays on her bed & goes to sleep, &doesn't say a word to me, She showers &just lays on top of him. Meanwhile I'm on the otherside of the room.
Now I have a major problem with this because out of respect she could have at least asked me.Neither he or she says anything. They just come in and fall asleep.
I have to be honest this is not the only reason but the fact that I have to sit here and watch the couple sleep in bed, I have to watch this a constant reminder of what I no longer have. I am sensitive to anything regarding couples CZ of all the things I can no longer do cuz it is just like a grieving wife it hurts just the same,Plz what shoul I do?I feel like God is giving me pain, for prior happin
2006-10-11 09:00:11 · 17 answers · asked by Gifted and Gracious 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She is very well aware of my boyfriend's death, as a mater of fact he is too everyone is cuz I have our pics decorating the wall and he obitutary is on the walls as well. I just can't imagine doing this to anyone out of respect. I would have at least asked she didn't have the common courtsey to do that.
And they are just laying there playing in bed, No one will understand this unitl u lose someone right in the prime of your relationship when everything is perfect...but this hurts. To watch people do the little things u used to always do and there is no xscape everywhere I turn i see us. I just cant take it anymore, I just had a crying sesion, and I can't stop crying, just a constant flow of silent tears, I'm in pain. I can't talk to my family becuase they rejoiced when my boyfriend died. I have no friends. It's just me and the one place I go to escape the world, my dorm is now a place of pain, reminders of the things I can never do with the one I love.
2006-10-11 09:00:36 · update #1
Just talk to her, but you need to talk to someone else about your own issues. You can't expect everyone to pretend they don't have a significant other because of your loss.
2006-10-11 09:04:17 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt Honesty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that u lost ur boyfriend is indeed sorowful but the solution is not to hide urself and pretenting that u don't see couples. Let the couple be happy because life is small. It is not right to prevent her from sleeping with him because u "can't see" cz u remember. There are couples everywhere, it's not possimble to close every time ur eyes.She didn't have to think about that. How should she know that u think like that? Try to get over it and at some time u will find another person to love.. Goodl uck...
2006-10-11 09:11:17 · answer #2 · answered by ThEowL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try interrupting them. You do have a voice too so use it. If that doesn't help then get a bit tipsy one night and "accidentally" fall asleep in her bed. If you become annoying enough they will go someplace else or you can. She is happy with her new freedom. Remind her the price she must pay for this. If you say nothing then she won't change. Like next time they get all cuddly ask them if they want some popcorn or Doritos. Inquire whether or not they have condoms. Seem genuinely concerned for their comfort but do it in an annoying way.
2006-10-11 09:07:44 · answer #3 · answered by charity2882 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first things first doesn't he have a place of his own? N-E ways let her know how you are feeling about the whole situation be honest. And then ask her to set up a schedule of when he can come over but ask her most definitely to respect the fact of privacy. I'm sure the dean wouldn't like this at all.
2006-10-11 09:05:45 · answer #4 · answered by cOMpLiCaTeD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The thing is that you can't stop everyone who is a couple that you see together because of your lost. I understand you had a lost and it hurts to see others together but u can't expect everyone to just stop holding hands, kissing, etc because of your lost. Now first off, i do think it is rude that your roommate doesnt ask u if it is ok to have her bf over, plus i also think it is rude if they are messing around while ur there. Now if they are just cuddling and sleeping that is fine in my opinion as long as u are both in agreement as it is BOTH of your room. I think you should talk to her definitely about the situation but you can't say dont cuddle or kiss around me because that is going overboard. But asking for respect is not. I would definitely talk to her about the disrespect of not asking.
2006-10-11 09:07:36 · answer #5 · answered by Cj 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her the open truth. She has no respect for your space or your feelings. She needs a private room is shes gonna act like that in a dorm. Dont hold back your feelings. Say what is really on your mind to her. She needs to here it.
2006-10-11 09:07:43 · answer #6 · answered by le_le_06 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Invite her out to dinner just the two of you so you can do it in a nice inviorment to maybe take some tension off of the subject
talk about how your happy for her but she needs to respect your pirvacy and stay at his house next time, explain to her how painful it is to you and how you dont feel like she values your friendship because she continues to be insensitve to your thoughts and feeling.
i think if it doesnt work out,find a new roommate
2006-10-12 09:56:16 · answer #7 · answered by Olivia S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your boyfriend. I would definitely have a talk with your roommate and tell her that her boyfriend sleeping in your room makes you uncomfortable and sad. Tell her that you need time to get over your boyfriend's death and you need her to respect your privacy. I don't think it can hurt anything to have a talk with her. Good Luck!
2006-10-11 09:08:29 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be honest with your roommate and tell her how you feel. Perhaps it would be best if she got her own room or another roommate if she needs her boyfriend over all the time. Is he at the same college, can she go to his room? Maybe it would be best if you got your own room. I am sorry about your boyfriend and I hope in time the pain will go away for you.
2006-10-11 09:05:04 · answer #9 · answered by goodbye 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i am sorry for your loss my someone i know went through that also, but at the same time you can't disrupt spmeone else's llife with someone they are with because that's what they want. if you wanna have a discussion as far as the terms for when you both should have anyone over then that seems cool, but as a dormmate you come into that situation knowing that they may have someone around. if you seriously have a problem with being around that then you both should deal with it but be careful how you do it. I know it hurts but remember to celebrate his life and live because he would want you to
2006-10-11 09:13:55 · answer #10 · answered by curiousfem 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God doesn't have it out for you. I'm not sure what your question is...do you want her to stop bringing the bf around or just stop the sleep overs?
She's young and may not even realize how her actions are making you feel. I could understand you not wanting her to have her bf sleep over. But, if would be unfair of you to want her to not be affectionate with her bf all together.
2006-10-11 09:09:52 · answer #11 · answered by reign24 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋