Want another baby but too worried about partner?

Question

I've recently had a baby and although I know I don't want another one for a while (3 or 4 years) I do know I want another one. I was really depressed when I was pregnant (not cos of the baby but cos of hormones) and horrible to my husband. Now I know he doesn't want to go through another pregnancy in case I'm the same again. I know I won't be cos I have my little girl to put first now. He also has another daughter from a previous relationship so think he feels like he has "finished" but I'm not! What should I do?

Answer 1

it sounds like you might have had a valid "depression" and that should be recognised ... talk to an understanding doctor or mid-wife ... you may need (and deserve!) a lot more support than you realise

there's no reason you can't sort this out with a lot of talk & love & understanding on all sides - everyone should have a stake in making the decision that is right for all of you

Answer 2

If you only recently had your baby have you thought that your partner might be finding his new situation a bit challenging? He is now having to juggle between two kids by two different Mums and it's bound to take him (and you and the two children) time to find a comfortable routine. I'd say enjoy what you have for a while and once your partner is feeling like it's all in hand then maybe he will be happier to think about another baby.

Answer 3

You sound like you are considering getting pregnant "by accident" without your partner's consent. When your spouse doesn't want to have a child and you do, that's it. It's over. You either end the relationship or forget about having another child. It is wrong to trick another person into being a parent without their consent. And no, sleeping with you does not amount to consent.

The first thing I would tell him is that you are seriously wanting another baby and if he doesn't want one he should wear a condom. By telling him this you are creating a safety net for yourself in case you have bad judgement later and stop or neglect birth control.

Once you have restored honesty in your relationship by telling him this, you should approach him with your desire to have another child and try to convince him. There's nothing wrong with that.

If you "accidentally" get pregnant chances are he will leave you or resent you or resent the baby. Or what if he leaves you when he finds out. For a depressed person that could trigger suicide or WORSE! It's really unexcusable and the person who pays for your mistake might be innocent.

Answer 4

Wait until you are ready to have the child then talk to your husband. Talking to him right now might not be a good time, besides you don't want another for 3 or 4 years from now. He might feel differently 3 or 4 years from now.

Answer 5

I'm going through a similar situation with my wife. We have a 5 month old daughter and she's ready to start trying for another one. I want another one, but not for a while.

Your partner doesn't want another one now, but that may change. If you're not ready now, don't push the issue. When you start thinking about having another one, have the discussion with him then. After he sees how beautiful your current baby is, he may be more willing to be patient with a pregnant woman.

Answer 6

You need to talk to him again! NO 2 pregnancy's are the same or if you think you get depressed when you are pregnant then you could maybe talk to your doctor/health visitor about your concerns but hey good luck.
ps remember the your man has no idea how much stress is put on you when you are expecting get him to help you to.

Answer 7

Dont worry about it honey - another pregnancy could be completely different for you. I was a complete ***** right through my first pregnancy coz of hormones and yet with my second baby I was all sweetness and light - you may find that its the same for you. 1st pregnancies are often the hardest just through fear of the unknown. Dont go worrying about it - you'll drive yourelf nuts and whatever you decide - good luck x

Answer 8

i'm sorry to hearken to approximately all which you went by. each being pregnant is diverse. that's my third one, and that i've got enjoyed it. My first 2, i became ill the finished time, with intense blood rigidity, and Gestational diabetes. My first one became born with a dislocated hip after 26 hours of hard paintings, and he or she could in basic terms not drop, so we had an emergency area whilst she grew to alter into distressed. i found out i became allergic to the epidural, and the anesthesiologist had to poke me 36 cases to get the epidural in my back, so i ended up with a welt the size of a baseball and my eyes swelled close. i became very scared to bypass by that lower back attempting for yet another. My 2d one, i became additionally ill the finished time, yet i did not have the suited problems that I had with my daughter, and with a spinal, he definitely got here out via c-area with an Apgar of 10. (that's extremely uncommon for an element toddler). that's some thing which you will ought to think of approximately. I did get extremely undesirable positioned up pardum melancholy after my 2d toddler. I definitely have already pronounced this with my wellness practitioner and plan on commencing some thing quickly when I definitely have him, if i'm commencing as much as experience down in the dumps. additionally, it sounds as in the experience that your scientific institution stay became not the suited the two. Do you have the alternative of choosing yet another wellness practitioner that practices at a diverse scientific institution? i could actual attempt to examine around if the assumption-approximately having yet another toddler around does attraction to you. yet whilst it would not do not permit your different 0.5 rigidity you into some thing which you're in basic terms not waiting for immediately. I desire you the suited of success on your seek for the properly suited answer. I additionally can relate somewhat.

Answer 9

There is really not much you can do except express your desire to your husband and then pray that God will change his heart. It takes both of you to bring another baby into the world so you both should be ready to have another one. I hope everything works out for you!

Answer 10

I think you should talk to him more about it in the future right know he probably wont approve because of all of the responsibility that you have know with a new little one. My be in the future he might feel different. Your next pregnancy try to be more relaxed and prepared.