I just found out today I am pregnant! Problem is he has been under a lot of stress lately not to mention he's only been home from Afghanistan 4 1/2 months. I am worried that once faced with the fact that there is now one more thing to add to the pile of stuff in his (our) life he might not be as happy about it as he once thought. I just don't want to add to the stress. Should I wait a few weeks to tell him after things calm down, or just surprise him today? I just don't know what to do. If this were 3 weeks ago I know he would have jumped for joy.......now I'm not so sure if he would see the timing a burden. Any advice would be great!
2006-10-11 08:44:42 · 17 answers · asked by amandapanda74 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
This has nothing to do with worries about if he will step up or even get married for that matter. This is not a commitment issue.......it's should I wait until he has adjusted better to home life after being overseas in a war zone for over a year or just drop it in his lap and hope he can handle it. The stress he is under has nothing to do with us it's more or less getting back into the humdrum or civilian life. You would be surprised at the toll that can take on a person. I'm just glad he's not like some of the other soldiers that have come home with post traumatic stress issues
2006-10-11 09:01:47 · update #1
You seem to be very concerned about him and how he feels. YOU are the one who is pregnant. He needs to know about the baby asap so that he can step up to the plate, marry you, and starting taking care of YOU and your BABY!
2006-10-11 08:47:56 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Strain 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since he has said that he wants to have a child, then tell him. Tell him with enthusiasm! Sounds like it would brighten up his life! He might feel worse knowing you knew for awhile before telling him. Finding out you are pregnant and telling the father is an emotional, special moment. Go buy a bib or a onesie that says 'I love Daddy' and give it to him as a gift. It will make it a fun and thoughtful moment for the 2 of you to share! And to some of the other messages, so what if you aren't married first!
2006-10-11 16:09:47 · answer #2 · answered by scootzz777 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the advice would be 2 tell him today he should know that is what he wanted he should be happy but when it comes down to it he has the right to know their may stress but he helped make the baby he can help raise the baby as 4 you their will be hard time just try to get through them remember we are always here 4 u good luck 2 all 3 of u
2006-10-11 16:00:59 · answer #3 · answered by christine s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard question to answer. If you wait to tell him, though, it could stress you out, and stress during pregnancy isn't a good thing. If he was the one pushing for a baby (and obviously he has gotten what he wants), he will probably be happy. I think I would tell him, but do it in a creative way, when you know he is in a good mood. Maybe you could wrap up a baby toy as a present and give it to him...or one of those corny "world's greatest dad" t-shirts...
2006-10-11 15:50:25 · answer #4 · answered by Christy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was in afghanistan for a year and when he cam eback it was very hard getting back to the stable life of home instead of a warzone. If anything maybe ask him if he wants to go to counseling with you. Counseling is pretty necessary after war and yet the troops see it as unnecessary. if he wanted a baby I am sure hell be excited but maybe try counseling too to help him get out some of his stresses on someone else who will help him cope.
2006-10-11 16:43:15 · answer #5 · answered by vanessa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know him better than any of us...it could go the way you imagined as to where its adding stress, but it could also go the complete opposite way. He could look at this as the one ray of sunshine in his life right now, know what I mean?
My boyfriend and I were in that situation. He has wanted a baby for the longest time, and we were at a rough patch in both our lives and just settling in somewhere else and were having a lot of problems. But when I found out I was super excited and I told him, and it was like, that was the one thing that kept us smiling through all our hardships.
The very best of luck to you, your boyfriend, and the baby.
2006-10-11 15:49:29 · answer #6 · answered by Barbi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, congrats. I hope that all works out well. I would probably give it a little time. It will help you figure out things. I would think that if he has been talking about having a baby for a while, that he would be happy. I would probably give little hints and see how he reacts to the hints.
You need to be happy no matter what. You both created this baby. He will be happy. Give it time. If you are worried, he will be more worried.
2006-10-11 15:49:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him as soon as possible, but timing is important. Don't spring it on him when he's running out the door for work, don't tell him if you guys are having an argument, etc. Catch him when the atmosphere is relaxed. If he doesn't take it well, don't stress over it. You come first when you are pregnant, and hopefully he realizes that as well!
2006-10-11 15:51:24 · answer #8 · answered by chalinsumner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this is just what he needs to hear. I cant even imagine what he has gone through & god bless him for what he has done for our Country.
I would either take him out for a nice dinner or cook one at home and gently tell him the miracle you have growing inside of you.
I think he will be thrilled.
Congrats & best of luck to you both -- er... the 3 of you!
2006-10-11 16:17:29 · answer #9 · answered by ladybug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he has been wanting this tell him it just may turn his mood around all together plus if you dont tell him he is gonna lose trust in you for not telling him. PLUS when you are pregnant you think about it 24/7 do you really think you could face him for the next few weeks without telling him? AND you need him now more than ever
2006-10-11 15:52:23 · answer #10 · answered by Brandi D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋