What are your thoughts on swinging?

Question

I am in a normal relationship where I love my boyfriend very much and they feeling is mutual. We are open about what we want sexually (which is very meat and potatoes), and we both feel like it is innevitable that one of us will eventually be faced with the possibility of cheating. Most adult women have been faced with the married guy that relentlessly hits on them. I think that its the same for men to have married women hit on them. So, with this being said, is it acceptable for a couple to redefine their approach to sexuality? And, if there are any swingers out there, please tell me your story and thoughts.

Answer 1

For about 100 million years the male of the species had numerous sexual partners at one time. For about the last 4000 years almost all cultures allowed for multiple wives. About 1000 years ago an upstart religion decided to control their people and said it was against god's law to have more than one wife.

With that said about 10% of the population are swingers - that makes about 200 million adults or 20 million swingers. Not a small number.

As one other person said - both of you have to be for it, or your relationship is over. BUT, if both of you are into it, at least to some extent, it overwhelmingly strengthens your relationship. Divorce in the US is about 50%. Divorce in the swinging community is about 5%. Love is emotional - sex is biological. If you both get what you want - turned on in some manner - then you both win. Neither of you can go into this to get something you are not getting at home, it will only lead to problems. If you both get your meat and potatoes at home and then get together with a group and get more meat and potatoes together then you are better for it.

Don't get involved with a $10 a person entry fee place - anybody walks in there. Get involved with a well established place that might have an initiation fee, possibly yearly dues - usually they are not excessive - and that also has orientation sessions and an orientation night. Talk it over with the people there and ask any question you want - they have been asked everything and won't take offense.

It is called a lifestyle because it is a lifestyle change, not just a whim for kicks. Look into it and talk it over, then try one night. The rules are simple. Yes means yes and no means no - or the person is thrown out - everyone there knows those rules. AND - the one with the pussy makes the rules. You are the dominant force at any swingers party. You can even say no to your husband and while at the party he has to agree - or he gets thrown out, and usually they give you one chance, rarely 2.

Good luck.

Answer 2

You say you’re in a normal relationship but you want to know about swinging. Your relationship is probably suffering if you are looking for other avenues to appease your boyfriend or your self. You need to come to terms with the realization that you and your boyfriends’ relationship maybe ending.
If he asked for a threesome or wants to involve you in the act of swinging then he feels little about you and the love you might have for him, and he finds little pleasure in the act of love making with you and has become unfulfilling for him. The same might hold true for you.
Swinging and threesomes are not for everyone and in the end are relationship killers. They might mend the problem for a while but they do not cure the issues a couple might be having.
It is acceptable to for one to redefine his or her sexuality but not as a relationship saver. One should seek counseling first and foremost before trying some thing like that to salvage their relationship. Good luck.

Answer 3

Brutally Honest, I think it is the end of a relationship. Unless both parties are completely for this. Otherwise, is it really better to have your husband sleep around as long as your in the room. I think not. And everyone will definitely be faced with the temptation of another partner, but it's facing that temptaion with the strength of your relationship and the bonds you have together to combat such a thing from happening. If you really don't want this, don't do it.

Answer 4

From what I have gathered through listening to others and reading, swinging only works for a very few people. But those few people are very happy. Sometimes I wish that I could handle it. I've been married for a long time, and although being with another woman is always a temptation (a temptation I have NOT partaken), I would not be able to handle my wife with another man.

Answer 5

is it acceptable for a couple to redefine their approach to sexuality? Yes.

But you have to think it through. Reality is not the same as fantasy. It is possible that it will hurt your relationship. Probably more trouble than worth. Examine closely WHY you would consider this!

But it has worked for others, so perhaps it would for you... (wink)

Answer 6

Swinging could be frustrating territory. Its effectiveness relies upon on the form of relationship a pair has. If the two companions have given it intense attention and are attentive to each and all of the aptitude themes, then it shouldn’t be something extra beneficial than yet another fetish the couple shares. i for my section think of it has way too many risky implications to be nicely worth giving it a shot, yet while the couple has observed it and keen, listed under are some issues they could desire to the two agree on: a) Agree that this could be an exciting element to aim. If one occasion is expressing doubt, further talk is mandatory. no person ought to bypass into this with doubts. it may get overwhelming and function a reliable emotional impact. b) the two conform to the way they are going to attitude the different couple and who the different couple would be. Now it somewhat is a form of overwhelming moments i develop into talking approximately. The couple ought to make advantageous they %. a pair they the two discover captivating with a view to make the main out of the experience. destiny resentments could be prevented by way of bypassing on a pair between the companions feels so-so approximately. c) despite occurs, a pair ought to stay risk-free. There are only too many wellbeing damaging aspects obtainable to take this gently. All needed precautions against STDs and being pregnant ought to be seen. it is likewise common courtesy in the direction of one yet another and the different couple. d) Agree on “replace-of-heart” cues. It’s no longer uncommon to alter your emotions as quickly as you’re in the situation. the two companions ought to be open and considerate to one yet another’s emotions. If one needs to depart, you the two depart… with a grin. Being crabby approximately leaving can in ordinary terms decrease your possibilities of having laid much extra. Couples could additionally decide to contemplate holding the interest exterior of the companion and young toddlers in the event that they have toddlers. toddlers want stability and adults enticing in this form of interest can develop right into a puzzling situation. a pair ought to make advantageous that if the youngsters are conscious of their events, they understand and understand that this is an person “interest” and that it will no longer jeopardize the couple’s relationship with them or one yet another.

Answer 7

I think it has to be something that you both agree on and what the rules and limitations are. I wouldn't call myself a swinger, but ocassionaly my partner and I have brought in a 3rd. We stuck to the rules we set ahead of time and had a fun time.

Answer 8

I know some people practice this, but there is no way I would consider it. What I share with my boyfriend is very special and private-just for us, and I would probably cry uncontrollably if I had to kiss someone else, never mind have sex with them, and the thought of him sleeping with someone else is unbearable to me. This is not because I don't find lots of men attractive, it is simply because I love my BF, and believe that our intimate life is ours alone, and not for sharing with others.

Answer 9

If you want to sleep with other people what's the point of getting married. Is it just for the financial perks? That's a bit sad. These people have self esteem issues and need to define themselves by their sexuality. I feel bad for them.

Answer 10

Works best with total strangers. Some one always gets left out and its easier to not care who it is. TRUST!