Am I in love?

Question

Im pretty positive I love my husband but he often annoys me when he eats or shows bad manners and he is CONSTANTLY wnating sex and I do not get into it we dont have much time alone and are under alot of stress with full time jobs and two toddlers he expects me to stay up with him until 2 and I have to be up at 5 in the morning for work and if I dont he still wakes me up around 3 for sex because it "helps him sleep" he dosent really help with the kids he wont bathe or teach them he says thats the moms job we just got married after being togther 4 years he tells me what to do with my money what to eat what I can wear and if I shower and dress "nice" he make accusations if I m off that day I guess he expects I wear lounge clothes all day I even had to go to Physical Therapy for a small period of time and he was so jelouse and thought me and the PT had a thing he didnt like someone "rubbing" on his wife....where do I go from here is their help for my marriage?

Answer 1

Answer hazy. Ask again later

Answer 2

You need to really think and answer your own question. Because, if someone loves you they accept you for who and what you are. They will not control you or add extra stress or pressure. However, I'm sure he didn't just get like this overnite. Therefore, we problems or behavior arise you need to nip it in the bud and not let it fester. If he wants sex through out the night and demands this from you; then he needs to help around the house and with the children or let you resign from your job and become a house wife, which is a full time job. So, put your foot down and let him know, what you are willing to and not except. Not trying yo be smart but once again, you need to really assess the whole relationship from the very beginning and come up with own answer. Are you really in love or is it because of the history and the memories of good times?

Answer 3

First of all, you need to stand your ground and stand up for yourself.
Explain to your husband that you're not property, you'll make your own financial decisions, you'll eat what you feel like eating, you'll wear what you want to wear despite his accusations. He's being overly ridiculous and you're not a slave or a piece of property!
Your husband has a lot of insecurities and low self-esteem. If he didn't he wouldn't be so phsycotic about everything that you're doing. I mean, come on, it's physical therapy, you're not there to have sex and go wild. He doesn't trust you and a marriage/relationships is absoloutely nothing without trust.
Secondly, you didn't make those children yourself. It takes two to tango and therfore since he is the father, it is both parents job to take care of the children and teach them the things that they need to learn.
Third, you're a hard working woman. Speak up and tell him that you don't want to be waken up for sex, if you've had a rough day and are tired you should NOT be forced to have sex with someone. It's rape when you do not want to have sex and are forced to, even if it's your husband, you should never be forced.
It sounds to me that your husband needs some serious help and a reality check. Right now, I think what is best for you, is to take your kids and stay with a trusting family member or close family friend to get away from this man. He may not hit you but he is verablly abusing you when he tells you what you have to do like he is your father, as if you're not a grown woman and can't make decisions for yourself.
Your children cannot be with a man that only cares about himself and sexual needs. If he loved and cared about his children, he'd want to educate and bathe them. Who doesn't bathe their kids? It is not a mothers job to do everything. If it was a mothers job to do everything then god would've made it so woman could get pregnant without a man.
Now, a marriage is tag-team, a two way street, your husband has no trust, no respect, and no dignity. You need to get out of this marriage. I know that will be difficult because you have three kids and two jobs so that is why I am asking you to get out, get away from him, and go live temporarily with a family member or close friend.
You cannot keep dealing with someone who is SO disrespectufl. At this point, he has to lose you and his kids to realize that when you have children, you're no longer number one, they're supposed to come first, when you make them, you care for them and he just doesn't care, he doesn't do anything, he's a SLOB!
Get rid of him because he's a deadbeat father and you don't need your kids to be around such a disgraceful person.

Answer 4

Have you ever thought that some married couples does not have the physical part even, or some are getting verbally and physically abused, I mean your marriage just seem a little bit like a daily routine but I think you can work it out with a little help from his side, like you guys can talk and work it out between you.
Trust me after all you have described I feel you are only bored and need some attention, extra attention to put it right.

Answer 5

Take counseling.Counseling is not always for looney pple!Work out a schedule for the nights he want u 2 stay up.Tell him he need 2 work on those bad manners.Camcord the things he do that inapproiate and let him watch it,maybe he'll make effort 2 change.Sex is not everything tell him dat,but sumtimes it wouldn't hurt for u to pamper him and have a lil pleasure.Find a babysitter at da times u wanna get cha grove back.I'LL EVEN BABYSIT!!!!lol

Answer 6

Sweetheart once you hate the way someone eats its all over... I went through it with my husband... We are separated but working it out... But I too hated the way he would eat... he sounds like he is controling... leave him and give him some time to have to take care of the kids... he will realize how much you do, he loves you, and needs you... he sounds exactly like my husband... now we live in two separate places... we have two kids that are 5-6, 11 months apart... and when he has them he knows what i went through... we are working it out and taking our time... starting over...

Answer 7

Sounds like someone (your husband) needs some counseling. He seems possessive and in a way aggressive. I would somehow find someone that he will listen to if it isn't you and have him seek counseling because it isn't going to get better. I have seen many of my friends go through this and they have ended up leaving their husbands because it didn't get any better it just got worse.

Answer 8

Think about this before you go running off and quiting.

Reports show that approximately 85% of youth in prison, 85% of children with behavioral disorders, 75% of adolescents in substance abuse treatment centers, 71% of all high school dropouts, and 70% of adults serving long-term prison sentences come from fatherless homes. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes and 85% of all children that exhibit serious behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. Children from fatherless homes are 5 times more likely to commit suicide, 9 times more likely to drop out of high school, 10 times more likely to abuse drugs, 20 times more likely to end up in prison and to have behavioral disorders, and 32 times more likely to run away than their peers who grow up in intact families with both birth parents

Answer 9

Go to a marriage counselor. Don't get your hopes up too high.

Answer 10

is a lot of help out Thar man he needs it to he is going to have to change a lot it will take A lot of time but hang in fix this

Answer 11

Yes you are in love. And he sounds like a great guy to me, just give him all the sex he can handle.