My children(3) are having a hard time with the divorce and the counselors including mine believe we should all go together including my ex wife in order to do what is best for them. All she brings up is the hurt she has and not what is best for the children. I tell her what is done is done and now the kids are the one's we need to focus on.
2006-10-11 08:02:12 · 9 answers · asked by paco 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There's no way to convince a person they should give counseling a try if they don't want to. Sounds like you're doing the right thing, it's too bad she doesn't want what's best for the kids too. She also sounds like she's pretty bitter. All you can do is keep talking to her, maybe she'll relent one day. I wish you and your kids the best of luck. Your kids are lucky to have you!
2006-10-11 08:31:10 · answer #1 · answered by grannyhuh 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She has to make a move on her own.
Right now she is in the grieving process. It is common knowledge and scientific fact that a broken heart is just like an actual wound and needs time to heal.
Although she isn't worrying about the best interest of the kids (which is a problem, but a different one) she needs time to herself. She has to learn to love herself before she can heal fully.
Rather then forcing her to do counseling, keep going and keep having the kids go. Eventually, when she is feeling a bit better she may reconsider.
Also, have your kids talk to her about how they'd really like it if she would come to counseling rather then you talking to her about it.
2006-10-11 08:15:09 · answer #2 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't really force her to go. I would sit down and try to talk with her. Try telling her that divorce is hard for everyone and ask her to put the differences aside and do what is best for the children. If she is still unwilling to go, focus on your kids and continue to go to counseling with them. Constantly reassure them the divorce had nothing to do with them and that you will always be there for them. Hopefully, in time your ex's wounds will heal and she will be more open to help you. Good luck.
2006-10-11 08:14:45 · answer #3 · answered by Secrets are best for one... 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is she so bitter? Is there anything that could be done to address her feelings first? As a newly divorced mother of one I find I consistenly have to put everyone else's feelings before my own. I had to forgive my adulterous husband for our kids sake. I have to accept his girlfriend for our kids sake. I have to talk with him about the kids. See the pattern here? Of course she should go and do what is right for the kids but maybe she needs help herself. Maybe pay some attention to her needs as well.
2006-10-11 08:16:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up! You cannot force her to go to counseling. You make it sound as though you are such a good guy and I have a feeling there is a REASON she won't go and it has to do with YOU! If you are so worried about the kids, take them with YOU to the counselor and quit whining! Why are you wasting time here on the Web when you could have asked the counselor and when you SHOULD be spending time with the kids? Rhetorical.
2006-10-11 08:15:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Who is to blame for the failure of the marriage?
if it's u who decided to end it, u can't blame her for being bitter. Obviously she does not want to end the marriage, maybe she is afraid of loosing the children and even u. but no matter what, once u become a parent u put your children first. she is being selfish, instinct tells a mother suck it up and do what needs to be done for her children when they are hurting. But please, don't take marriage so lightly, try your very best to make it work, and if you already did, do it again. for the sake of your children.
2006-10-11 08:30:57 · answer #6 · answered by ducky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who is at fault in the divorce , should be the one going to counseling with the kids. and the one who is at fault should also explain to the childern what happened there, maybe some truth with the kids would help a great deal as well.
2006-10-11 08:14:34 · answer #7 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't force her to do this. You go to counseling with your kids and do the right thing. Invite her along and if she goes fine and if she don't fine. Don't make a big deal out of it becasue it will just casue you two to argue more.
2006-10-11 08:05:37 · answer #8 · answered by Jewells 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's really nothing you can do if she refuses to go to counseling for the benefit of your children be the bigger person and let it go someday maybe she'll learn what kind of selfish idiot she was
2006-10-11 08:07:09 · answer #9 · answered by wildone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋