my friend is back from iraq, fallujah and told me some really horrible stories happening back there. He recalled an incident where they entered a house and shot anything that moved after their truck had been hit by and IED bomb. he walked into this room saw the kids and shot them point blank. On close checking the bodies, he found they were just kids 3yrs-7 yrs. His wife is very troubled about this and is considering divorce and doesn't sleep in the same room with him. He gets nightmares too. My pal is very stressed from the war and can't believe he is not even welcome back home. What advise can you give me to give him?
2006-10-11 07:42:20 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look, I really resent people disrespecting the soldiers we have deployed. This is a bunch of crap, Buddy. If this really happened, which I know did not, your friend would be in Leavenworth for an illegal shooting charge. He would certainly not tell the whole world he murdered anyone. If you believe this baloney, shame on you. This guy most likely never used a weapon in combat in the service, was probably a cook. Stop being so damn gullable, for God's sake. And stop insulting the REAL combat soldiers with this bulls**t! I know what I'm talking about, you don't. I's aholes like you who write this junk that cause people to treat us badly, so why don't you go away
2006-10-12 02:17:47 · answer #1 · answered by Raptor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Goodness. I am so sorry about what he is going through. I think his wife needs to seek some therapy, she doesn't understand he has orders, and they are kill or be killed. Though I DO NOT agree with killing children, a lot of people don't realize that the parents will strap bombs to their kids to kill Americans. It's war and it's hard. I'm sure she was told stories before he left and while he was gone. I know with us being military, I am always hearing some horror story about being over there. Heck, all she had to do was turn on fox news and she would see it there too. I would tell him to hang in there. What is he doing for PTSD? Sure she isn't just looking for a way out of the marriage? I'd smack the sense back into her. I know that sounds rude but never in a million years would I disown my husband the way she has over war. I really don't know what he can do. Not sure there is really anything he can do. They both need some therapy to get past these emotions.
2006-10-11 14:50:21 · answer #2 · answered by ~*~frankie~*~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Would she rather he was dead?
I'm sorry for the children, truely I am. I think it was a terrible loss, and I think the parents of those children should have tried harder to get them to a safe place rather than staying in a war zone. People in a war zone die. Walking into a room in a house that was just shooting at you, you can't tell if even a child might have a gun, or be concealing some other weapon, or if a parent might be hiding behind them. I've never been in war, but if your friend hadn't been willing to do that, your friend would be dead right now. Those are the hard choices a warior must make. His wife needs to realize that he had to make some hard decisions and had to make them without enough information.
2006-10-11 14:49:46 · answer #3 · answered by Sean J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG! I cant believe she is treating him this way. Being a veteran myself, I know from experience that when you in a different country fighting a war your life is in danger every minute of everyday and you have to do some pretty crazy things to protect yourself as well as your fellow soldiers. To come home and not be welcomed by your own family especially is just unbearable. I suggest he gets some counseling, and if his wife leaves him, I symphatize with him. She has no compassion whatsoever and I feel she dont even deserve him. Tell him to be strong, he did a good deed for his country and I am proud of him.
2006-10-11 14:52:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine what your friend is dealing with right now. I'm sure he is not alone being as many of our military have had to go through such things as this time and time again from being in Iraq. He really needs to get into some counseling to help him with this. He cannot deal with this alone. There is no way he can. As far as his wife goes, she has NO IDEA what it was like to be in Iraq. I'm not saying it was right what he did in Iraq, but I'm sure none of us whom have not been to Iraq, who have not had the stress of the war and lacking hours upon hours of sleep there, can judge him for what he did. I'm sure it's killing him inside. I'm sure he has nightmares, my gosh, I feel for him. His wife on the other hand is judging him for something he did in war. My heart breaks for the kids that were killed and yes he killed them. He will never forget this as long as he lives. I understand that she is upset, but imagine how he must feel. He was the one that pulled the trigger. If she can't stand by him and try to help him through this, then she's not the person for him. She should at least go through counseling with him to deal with all of this. But I really don't see it happening. She has made him a "killer" in her mind. So sorry for your friend. So sorry for this war that is killing innocent people. I hope your friend will get the professional help he needs right now in his life.
2006-10-11 15:27:47 · answer #5 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I wouldn't divorce him, but I do think that it would be really hard to move on with a normal life after learning something like that. I would be uncomfortable sleeping in the same room too. They both need to get professional help because this is one of those things that will haunt them for years to come. Hopefully with time, and help from doctors and professionals, they will be able to get through this.
2006-10-11 15:20:57 · answer #6 · answered by deepwaters05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunatley he's there to do a job. Belive it or not some of these kids are being used as well for targets to the U.S. Some of the people over there are using their own children to kill our U.S. Soilders. It's he's in a situation where everyone over there is the enemy. Adult, or child. I dont think that she sould divorce him over this situation she should be gratefull that he made it back home to her. I can understand why she would feel bad about it but would she feel just as bad if those kids would have killed her husband. Its a tough place she sits in but she needs to be a suportive wife and see that her husband did a job. he needed to do..GOOD LUCK..and lot's of prayers..will help!
2006-10-11 19:28:04 · answer #7 · answered by ~* Pink Princess *~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't even begin to imagine what your friend is feeling at this point. If he saw the kids and still shot then I understand his wifes decision, if he really only reacted without realizing they were just kids then His wife should have some consideration for his position and the orders given to these soldiers. I wish him luck.
2006-10-11 14:47:10 · answer #8 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the wife needs to sit down and think about if this is a "deal breaker" for her. By deal breaker I mean, sometimes in relationships one party does something that is simply unforgivable to the other. She needs to make that decision and I would recommend getting some assistance in deciding that, try a licensed social worker (with at least a BSW education). Best wishes and good luck to you and your friend, what a tragic situation, created by a war that is not ours.
2006-10-11 15:33:00 · answer #9 · answered by CHAD W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
War sucks..I wouldn't divorce him. He was doing his job. I know how hard it is to deal with. My brother is there and has some wicked stories, but I love him just the same. Would his wife feel any better if they were 33 and 77? It's war and it's awful, but it goes with the territory..It's hard to think about it and accept, but we are not in the positions to judge..
It might take some time to get over, but time, love and patience will help.
good luck and God bless!
2006-10-11 14:49:27 · answer #10 · answered by Angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋