Who should be the determining factor in a relationship? Yay/Nay Stay/Go away?

Question

In the beginning of this year, I was in a relationship w/a person who (as I was told by a friend..Her 1/2 brother) was desperately trying to break away from an abusive husband. I went to meet her...Led by my "friend"...And sparks flew. From what I was told..I was great. Divorce papers were to b filed, I almost paid for them. I'm no stranger to trouble, and the father of the person I was seeing is a Police Officer. I was told to resolve a few matters(turn myself in..which I planned to do anyway)and I would have his blessings.... I did so..and during my brief 97 day extraction from the situation..I was robbed blind of tools I used to make a living (even though my family tried to secure them..they were threatened w/harrassment charges)Now I'm paying out the tail for small claims filing fees on a case that only the plaintiff shows up for, Starting from scratch and trying to avoid bitterness. She went back w/the man who was "Oh so very bad",and I lost my life in the process. Outtawordssorry

Answer 1

she does not deserve a guy like you!!!! thats for sure. just go on with your life and everything will just be fine. you will see it eventually!

Answer 2

I am not sure what your question is. I get that you feel like a victim who has been wronged by people. I get thet you felt attraction to someone and you wanted to "save" them. I get the the Police officer father believes in personal accountability. I get that you were rejected by a woman who was easily manipulated by an abusive person. I am still not sure what your question is.

If you are looking for advice on what to do, start by dropping the professional victim thing. Start taking responsibility for your actions, and hold yourself and others accountable. Be a strong person who affects the world rather than is affected by it. Quit blaming others for your demise, and own your part in your problems.

View each problem or obstacle as an opportunity in didguise (to learn, grow, improve, and overcome something). See your mistakes for what they are (ways to learn what doesn't work) and realize that they don't detract form your quality as a human being. They add to your characted and give you wisdom.

Change the phrase "I can't" to "I am not willing to" and see what that does for your perspective. Test yourself by rising to the challenges.

Stay away from women who are needy and desperate. Spend time with those who can stand on their own two feet. Get rid of your baggage so it doesn't contaminate your relationships.