my wife flirts with guys all the time on the internet, but she doesnt flirt with me. i do everything for my wife. i clean the house, do the dishes, give her messages from head to toe almost every night ( anytime she wants me to rub on her)and i take care of our 3 children. I just returned home from Iraq and she didnt use to do it before. should i be concerned?
2006-10-11 06:37:56 · 27 answers · asked by soldierman69 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I wouldn't be. When it comes down to it, everyone flirts, whether they are with someone or not. The thing about flirting over the internet is that it is harmless; it sure beats her fliriting with someone face to face where there is the opportunity for contact as well.
I don't agree with the fact that you do everything around the hosue--these responsibilites should be shared--but I do feel that some flirting on the internet is not that big of a deal. When she is flirting with people in person is when I would worry.
Maybe if you pulled the whole "put yourself in my shoes" thing??
Thnak you for defending my freedoms!!! Hope this helps :)
2006-10-11 06:42:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion your wife is doing you WRONG ! You were in Iraq, helping too keep our country safe and I want too thank you for that. I have a stepson there now and will be so thankful when he returns home.
Why are you doing everything for your wife? the massages are great but why are you the one doing the dishes and cleaning the house? Maybe you need too think about that. Have you thought about having the internet cut off? She is a married woman and has no business flirting with guys on-line !! She needs too be flirting with YOU!!! It sounds like you two need too sit down and have a long talk about what exactly is going on with her. You might not like what she has too say, If she's honest with you but hey, at least you might know why she is acting this way and maybe work it out. Dont let this go for another day, sit her down and talk!!!
2006-10-11 06:45:57 · answer #2 · answered by Rose T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let me just say as a military wife myself who's husband has been to Iraq 5 times in 5 years (6 months there, 6months home) and is currently there now the things your describing is a HUGE SIGN that your wife has not been upto anything good and you should be very worried. Communicate with her, believe me It get's lonley waiting on our men over there but I couldn't imagine ever hurting my husband. In our marriage we have boundaries like we don't have a need to go into chat rooms, We're Married neither of us need anyone new in our life, that just brings drama. Maybe you and her should set your own boundries about the computer that would satisfy both of you guys. me and my husband show eachother respect and usually do the computer together which is fun. Please don't be neive like ALOT of other soldiers that get back and think, Well she's been by herself with the kids and it'll take time to adjust. That's the biggest excuse and I've been through this 5 times and there's NEVER been a day that I wasn't glad to show my love and show how much I appreciate him, Love doesn't take time to adjust and if anything I wanted to be with my husband more and more the moment he came back you can take a look at my 360 page any day of the year and it will always be full of my love for my husband! Good Luck you seem like such a nice man I'm just glad to hear that your back and made it safe. Thank you for all your hard work, I know Army life isn't the easiest life. Take care
2006-10-11 07:09:43 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Shortie♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, first of all I want to say, thank you very much for what you do for our country!! I think what is going on here is she probably got a little lonely with you gone and to get back the communication that was put on hold, she yip yaps on the computer. Now with you being back she should not be doing that and should be giving her loving and flirting to you. If she is not hiding it from you then you should not have to worry but personally, I do not think it is right at all! Sounds like you are one heck of an awesome husband and she should be lucky to have you! So, try talking to her and telling her how you feel. It could be that she has been flirting with these people for awhile and sometimes those things are hard to break. Like if they talked everyday then to just stop might be hard for her. Also think back and see if you ever had any trust issues come up before. Good Luck, Stay Positive, and thanks for being a great husband because "some" are not.
Tina
2006-10-11 06:48:35 · answer #4 · answered by sassygirl2473 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes ---
Yes...she feels a sense of freedom and aderlum rush that she hasn't felt in a while. I know ur a great husband that takes care of everything in the house, but she is missing the excitement of when she was single or first in love.
Now it is only flirting on the internet...later there is curiousity to what is out there...then there is the cheating that will come later.
I would reccommend to get her excited again.
Bring her flowers....take her to dinner -JUST U -N- HER
get a babysitter for the night....get a hotel room for u and her
the special time for u and her is missing and that needs to be back into life. Once every week...just her and u time NO KIDS.
It will get her away from the computer the more effort u put into it...
The more u try to do things u've done b4 children and marriage will keep u together longer.
2006-10-11 06:47:16 · answer #5 · answered by csabrinam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brother there are many good answers here. First off I am sorry to read this. When I was married, I did everything for her including massage, surprise gifts & emotionally support her. I took care of her first son, her mother & paid all expenses.
Tread waters slowly & remember, if you show jealousy, she will rebel more. Be yourself, she was attracted to you before...yes it is a sad surprise. You did what you had to do; did what a man has to, played by all the rules society threw at you...and now this?
Human beings are animals; all react mostly same way. Try to get advice from older people especially older men you can trust. The older the better but remember to avoid advice from bitter people.
You need social support right now-you can try priest, join social groups, volunteer if you can (I had given up my friends for my ex which is a bad idea and makes men needy.)
People react different ways for different reasons. Try to stand back & not react. Maybe she needs her space & right now the internet is one way.
Remember women & men react to body language. The what you do is more important than what you say. Since you are always there for her, perhaps in a way you have become too easy...crazy huh?
Slightly back off, give her space & freedom. Tough thing to do...butterflies can't be forced to land on us & neither can women. Stop giving her everything; that was my biggest mistake per my ex. I idolized her but that made it easier for her to use me.
Being the guy, women will always accuse you of not doing this or that. It's just life...some grow apart while others like you mature. Women scream to have a loyal guy like you.
Whatever advice you decide to take & use, remember it might backfire. One thing is certain, when a mate is moving away from us,
acting clingy and/or yelling is not going to get them back.
Even to this day, my ex wants me back. I lost most of my respect for her years ago. She's now cheated on her live in lover...he cried on my shoulder when I visited my son. They crush you once, they'll crush you again.
Remember body language...words won't work in this situation. If you want her back, you have to become mysterious; the way you were when you first met her. Busy & you had friends besides her. Women want a challenge and sadly some of us loyal guys get hurt the most.
Good luck.
2006-10-11 07:10:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think that if your wife is behaving diffrently since you returned from Iraq and she is flirting with other guys you should have alot of reason to be concerned! I am a woman myself and if I were unhappy with my guy I would be looking elsewhere. If you are doing all the right things ( which it appears you are) and she is treating you this way , I would just sit her down and ask "whats up, why are you treating me this way now" hopefully she will be honest and you can work it out. It sounds like you really love her. Its not your fault!!
2006-10-11 06:48:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a tricky question. let me tell you this, "I was in the military for five years" for three of them I was married, I would go away for 6 months at a time, and my wife would "chat with guys" The last time I went out on deployment my wife decided to go a bit farther. She actually met up with a guy, and "one thing led to another", "It just Happened!!" She tried to justify it, but I wasn't hearing it.
As for the original question, YES you should be very concerned. Speaking from experience. It can only turn out badly. Even if she stays faithful, you will always have the thoughts going around in your mind that she's with someone else while you are gone.
2006-10-11 06:46:24 · answer #8 · answered by C.J. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her flirting with other guys could be taken as harmless fun. But what fisses me off is that she doesn't flirt with you. You d' man. You just got back from a hellhole in Iraq. You give her massages, you're cleaning the house.
Tell her to put on some high heels and thigh-high stockings and give you a lap dance with happy ending or you'll go out and get one for $20 !!!
Sheeeeesh!
2006-10-11 06:55:44 · answer #9 · answered by Use another Nickname 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get you and your wife to marriage counseling and quick . She obviously has a problem and needs help. She is addicted to the internet and needs to stop flirting period. Before too long she will have it in your face. In other words she will go out when she is with you and will flirt. Stop it and stop it now or be preparring for divorce court cause that is where it will end up.
2006-10-11 06:46:42 · answer #10 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋