Ok, my girlfriend has been really depressed lately. she feels all of her friends are replacing her and that she's just a "back up" to them. I feel so bad and have noticed that they've been ignoring her. I need help because I don't know what to say to help her. has anyone else had a situation like this? what should I do?
2006-10-11 06:35:55 · 25 answers · asked by linked161 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Just let her know that you're there for her when she wants to talk and that these people aren't her real friends. The good ones will be there for you no matter what. She doesn't want friends like that anyway.
2006-10-11 06:39:32 · answer #1 · answered by KMAB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had this problem before, it really hurts...So I know how she feels. You can be supportive and just listen to her vent. Try not to say negative things about the friends because even though she feels like they are ignoring her and not being good friends right now, they may resolve the issue and you cant take back what you said. Just let her know that she is a great person and that she needs to talk to them about how she feels, think about what the real problem is, really take a good look at the friendships and see if they are as meaningful as they should be. Alot of times friends start treating you different when you get involved with someone. When your life changes they dont know where they fit in. Hopefully she can have a talk with them and work it out. Good luck with this and your relationship!
2006-10-11 06:43:11 · answer #2 · answered by Lou Lou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there pal. Two situations:
1) I had a girlfriend (literal friend) who went with me to do everything. We were insperable originally. She became pregnant and had a child, I still had a lot of things in common with her but we could no longer be spontaneous with her kid. I either did things alone or contacted someone else because the kid was a third wheel. When she whined that I was no longer there for her I told her on the occasions when I am just sitting around the house I'd call her, otherwise, we have a different circle of friends.
2) Friend of mine used to love the club scene, meat markets and other pick-up spots. When I was single and young I went with them all the time. As I became older, took on more responsibility on my job, I had less inclination to stay out late. She is still into the late night hang outs and has yet to find a man. I, on the other hand have matured and the friends I have now are into galleries, arts and crafts, literature or theatres. I have completely replaced her in my life and when she approached me I explained that we merely grew apart our interests have changed.
In your girl's case, there has obviously been a shift in interests and has nothing whatsoever to do with her. The new friends are interesting "maybe only because they are new" when the novelty wears out she may be included or she may find herself replaced. There is no hard-fast rule that friends have to stick with friends forever.
Once she sees it in the proper perspective she can also replace them with new playmates. Its not personal. After a while you've done so few things with that person that they fade away. If she does not want to be replaced, she can call the other party and ask what's on the agenda and come outside of her comfort zone and attend things that are not in her interests - all in the name of fitting in or tag along anyway or utilize spies and turn up where they are.
2006-10-11 06:51:49 · answer #3 · answered by gravelgertiesgems 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a reason why they have been "replacing" her? I mean every story has two sides. Maybe you need to ask a few of them why they left. If they give you the same reason, then you know the exact reason may be her behavior. But if you get different reasons then maybe those people were only to be in her life for a season ya know?
All you can do is focus on the friend you want to be for her and concern yourself with that. Just because you like and love her, does not mean others will. Just be the friend to her that you would want her to be to you. She needs to know that someone is going to be there for her. Everybody needs a friend.
2006-10-11 06:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by â¤??? ?å???? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would tell her that if this is the way they are making her feel and treating her then they aren't really her friends. Tell her that if she needs a shoulder to lean on that you are here to help her through this the best you can, and ask her what see needs you to do to help that you hate seeing her like this and that if this is how they are going to make her feel all the time then you would rather her find some better friends. And that until she decides what she wants to do that you will be there for her no matter what.
2006-10-11 06:41:03 · answer #5 · answered by Jamie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what they aint no TRUE friend, a TRUE friend is a good friend that is going be there for you to uplift you in everyway when you are down and out. Someone that will step up for you when you can't do the stepping. Those types of drama queens your lady don't need to be with. She don't have to deal with that. You tell her she doesn't need friends GOD is the only friend she needs and he will never let her down, she will always have a smile upon her face and when you need him he is right there with arms opening out for her. Be there for your girlfriend right now, try to take her out and get her mind off of things. Lift her up in every way. Just be there for her in this depression time. Let her know if she needs someone to talk to Honey is here on Yahoo Answer and I am a true friend.
2006-10-11 06:43:35 · answer #6 · answered by BabyGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she the only one of her friends with a boyfriend? If so, it may be that they feel ignored by her and are returning the favor. Maybe she should spend a little more time with them. Or not. It just depends on her priorities. Not blaming anybody, but sometimes people get to caught up in their own lives and tend to forget to involve themselves in their friends lives. I know I did it. I still do it. I don't talk to my friends like I used to because life happens so fast you lose track of time. My friends do it too. It's a part of growing up to some extent.
2006-10-11 06:40:36 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Well, I have been in that situation before, but God tells us not to put our trust in man. He is right, unfortunately everyone will not treat you the way you would like to be treated. People are in our lives for a long time, or just for a season. There is something to be learned about every situation in life, even if it was bad. Pray for her and remember, "This too shall pass."
God Bless
2006-10-11 06:43:41 · answer #8 · answered by Selah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your girlfriend out and buy her something nice. Women love to shop. Make her feel special, tell her how lucky you are to have her in your life. Keep her mind off her old friends, maybe introduce her to some new people to hang out with. People change over time and maybe her friends have grown apart from her.
2006-10-11 06:39:55 · answer #9 · answered by Jackie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be that sweet heart of a boyfriend & tell her that you are her best friend . These so called friends of hers need to be replaced with real friends that don't turn their back on her so introduce her to some new ones.
2006-10-11 06:39:33 · answer #10 · answered by "karma" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋