should battered wives be seen in different light ?

Question

why are they always branded as stupid gullible fools. where does hope, faith, and enduring love have its place here

Answer 1

This is a difficult issue. I sad to say know all to well about it through my wife's past with her ex. What is worse is the results in some cases for these women. The courts at times can be pretty awful places for these women. My wife ended up loosing custody of her child through the court system, even after her ex was charged with abuse, divorce was granted on the grounds of abuse, and the court counselor making his ruling that custody should be given solely to the mother after a half year long investigation of both parties and child. In her case the judge threw out the psychologists testimony, because the ex's lawyer argued it was slanted and biased to the mother with a treat of a retrial being ordered. The judge after a long battle with this case was simply too tired to care and took the easy way out. End result, 15 years of my wife never being the same again. A sense of loss she has never gotten over as the child lives thousands of miles away and has not been seen in years, due to an ex who has prevented it from day one. Just a continuation of his abuse. Nor has her family. All contact was severed. Try being on the other side of this, and I will tell you it is painfully to watch. I know she knows she did the right thing with the divorce as she lets me know it was the right choice, the only choice because she would not be alive today, but there is also the pain of loss that makes it a terrible reality to bear that this was the cost of safety. He was bigger, richer, had a fancy lawyer, she was little, poor, and female with free legal help. Do the math. These women are not dumb, they are not fools, they are trapped and need help. Not continued victimization.

Result of the case of the custody in my wife's case: Child ended up in all sorts of problems due to to ex going through three failed marriages after their divorce. That hurts her more. She still has contact with one or two mutual friends her and her ex had. Once in awhile news filters back that is pretty hard to hear.

Our kids, bright, strong, healthy, straight A students with bright futures who show respect for the world around them.

Answer 2

There is alot behind the reason a woman allows herself to stay in a toxic relationship like this.

Sitting outside and looking in on a relationship like this is MUCH easier than actually being in one. Mostly if the woman has been beaten down for years... slowly taking away her self-esteem and self-confidence. Sometimes this starts in childhood upbringing.

Usually a battered wife doesn't think about the beatings as something wrong her husband has done - it's something wrong SHE has done and she deserves it. She remembers the good times where he is truly loving and sweet... and shuts out the bad times.

Our minds do this - if something drastically bad happens, our minds hide it. It shuts it off deep inside... It's a way of cooping.

Hope, Faith and enduring love come from those family and friends around her. An abusive man doesn't know what true hope, faith and love is... and doesn't know how to show it either.

The most anyone can do is be there for the woman. Talk to her seriously about the situation when appropriate...and love her. Show her that you do have FAITH that the situation will change. That you HOPE she can see a better future. And that you will LOVE her no matter what happens!

Answer 3

The people who brand them in this way, and its not everyone, just a few who have no comprehension on what happens.

First they start to lower your self esteem, usually its a little at a time, they isolate you, so that you have no outside friends, because you love them, you believe those small lies, once you are isolated from family and friends, they can really set to work, its called being a control freak, and it doesnt always have to include violence, then you are at your weakest, you are broken, and you are scared, you have no one to turn to, you are on your own. It is the sort of behaviour that is seen in some countries in interogation, divide and conquer.

If you know someone who is going through this, do not pressure them in to leaving the partner, be there for them, by putting pressure on when they are not ready to deal with it, you are becoming an ally to the abuser, the victim, needs to make the choice themselves, and when they do they need alot of support and understanding.

Not all domestic violence is done to women either, it happens to men also, but there seems to be alot less support for men.

Answer 4

Probably because people usually assume that everything we do is our own free choice. I certainly do feel that there's a certain amount of gullibility and foolishness involved in ending up in an abusive situation. It is true that once it goes too far, many other factors come into play other than free choice; but leading up to it, there are many points on one's path where the choice CAN be made. I myself was in a potentially abusive situation, and I left with not much more than the clothes on my back. It wasn't easy, but it saved me a lot of grief in the long run... Many people stepped in and helped, and were really compassionate... Without them, it would have been so much harder. Most of all, tho, I wanted to help myself; I think, people get frustrated when they're trying to help someone who is unwilling to help themselves, and this is where some of the stereotypes come from.

Answer 5

I am sorry to say but yes they are not being very smart. There men will never change unless they get help. I would hate to have a husband where you always have to walk on egg shells in order not to get hit. Very little of these men change and that is a very small amount. I think a woman should leave if her husband is not loving to her the way she should be loved. She also should be respected for her own opionion. She should just pack her things up and leave. If they have kids that just makes matters worse then the kids will grow up not knowing what love is. Usually history repeats itself.

Answer 6

females have a wide-unfold loss of expertise in this count frequently. Has not something to do with being extra forgiving than a guy. a woman is like an elephant and in no way forgets, and likes to maintain score. female are additionally thinking with there emotions, subsequently a guy can say he would be diverse and not positioned them interior the wellbeing facility lower back, and the female grabs the silver ring. yet I extremely have seen the place a woman says she has forgiven all. Then sometime quite a few extra years, she brings "it" up in a controversy and lighting fixtures out of the marriage or courting continuously, starting to be a poster newborn for minor incidents.

Answer 7

because people are ignorant or un educated when it comes to real issues such as battered wives. I see it all the time. Until you are in it, you just dont understand. And even if you were in it at one point and are now out of it, some women act like they dont remember what it was all about. Plus, the education behind it all is lacked.

Answer 8

I dont believe that anyone goes into any relationship wanting to be abused, but at some point will accept it after it has happened for while if they do not get out of it. Abuse, and the acceptance of it, is most often from a generational curse where the woman has seen multiple women in the family-mainly her mother, sisters, and aunts-accepting abuse and making excuses for it mostly out of fear and thinking they have no one who will really help them get out of it. Then once it starts happening to her, those same women blame her for the abuse she is recieving and sides with the abusive mate. Their mentality becomes warped.

I grew up in an abusive household, and I took the opposite stance. I wish a man would hit me because I would kill him. I am not to be hit on. My father was physically abusive to my mother, and emotionally abusive o his kids, but I am not scared of him and he knows it. He has tried to hit me once and when I would not back down from him, he lowered his fist. Abusive men are cowards and most often cannot stand up to a strong woman, much less another man.

Abusive women are not gullible but I have seen a few cases where some women do not feel loved unless they are being hit on because that is all they are used to. It becomes the norm for them. That is when they start blaming themselves for the abuse they are recieving. Happens alot in these types of cases.

Since I have been in a family of it, I extend my love and hope to all women who are victims of abuse and the idiots who abuse them. God is the only one who can bring them out of their situation by introducing people into their lives who can really make them see the light.

Answer 9

Sorry people but it happened to me on Sept 11th this year after 13 years of marriage. The first and LAST time!
I called the police, they arrested him and he was charged with ABH. Divorce actioned.

"Domestic Violence" sounds like a row over the Sunday Roast!
ACTUAL BODILY HARM or GRIEVOUS BODILY HARM is what this actually is, and what the offenders are now charged with.

Dont "stay" for sake of the kids " for their sake GET OUT!

Answer 10

If a woman stands there and lets her husband batter her then what is the problem? She married that man. She stays with that man. It's her choice to get beat on. She chose to marry that man and deserves what she gets. So what is the problem?

Stupid and gullible fool is appropriate. What more do you want to be called. Personal responsibility and no one else should be involved, not the courts, not the police.

Get real.