ok me and my husband have this problem.....Ok sometimes sex to me hurts i don't know why but it just does and i don't like to do it that often i mean i like it when it doesn't hurt but when it does i bring him down would that effect our marrige?we have been married for about 4 months and together for about a year and 7 months and i jus wish i could want sex as much as he does if only it didnt hurt i need HELP!!!
2006-10-11 06:10:27 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hello Sweetheart,
My wife has dealt with this type of pain for years and it does affect the marriage at time mainly because she would mask it and not share with me what was truly going on and then I come across as ill when she just says no all the time. As it turns out two weeks ago a correct diagnosis of IC was given and treatment has begun and the pain is letting up and we are once again on the same sheet of music. IC is a chronic pain with a number of different symptoms thats why it may be hard for a doctor to diagnose it. Be sure to tell the doctor if you feel the need to urinate frquently, if you have pain that is decreased by urinatinating or if you often wake up in the middle of the night to urinate these signs may be signs of IC. It is a long term condition where the walls of the bladder can become irritated and enflamed IC is associated withchronic pelvis pain, allergies even certain foods can trigger an episode. Let me know if that sounds like something you might be experiencing, but get a good check up and be very specific when describing the pain and when it occurs. Positions etc.there are other possibilities such endometriosis etc you might mention that as well.
Hugs,
Jim
2006-10-11 07:06:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not having sex will effect your marriage. The only thing that really differentiates marriage from other types of relationships is sex. In ancient times, people didn't alway have weddings. A man would take a woman to be his wife by taking her and having sex with her. Sex is not the most important thing in a marriage, or to a man, but there is no substitute for it. Sex is to marriage what food is to a date.
It should be enjoyable for both of you. Sex was created for both of you. So you need to make it that way. First, you need to isolate the source of the pain. Why is it hurting? Perhaps there is an easy solution to the pain. If you're nto sure you should see your OBGYN. This pain might just be the symtom an underlying problem.
If you are not able to have traditional sex right away, try some other things. Oral - both ways, not just you to him, touching, etc.
2006-10-11 06:30:50 · answer #2 · answered by thechristianviewpoint 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been married over a year. I had a child in March. I was cut when giving birth. My doctor stitched me up to tight and now it is painful to have sex. I have been told to keep at it and I will stretch out some but that don't seem to be working... not only that but I have lost my sex drive after giving birth.
My husband is hanging on and is very patient. However, I can sense this is bothering him. He doesn't bug me about it but I feel there is tension when it comes to the subject.
You may want to talk to your doctor about the pain you are having. (I am really not sure what type of pain or how it is painful to you). Talk to your husband about this. See if you all can come up with some solutions. You both are in this marriage and should discuss this stuff openly. See what he can come up with. Maybe different positions would ease the pain.
Good luck to you.
2006-10-11 06:16:36 · answer #3 · answered by Keith Perry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well how hard r u guys doing it? If hard slow it down a notch. Try to do allot of 4 play so that u would already be at the top of you're peek so that it's not much longer that u would have to deal with it, and have u told him that he hurts u or that it hurts. Try to it in water. I'm not sure it's the first time I've heard that sex hurts someone unless it's just with that particular person and they're to big. But good luck with that.
2006-10-11 06:43:40 · answer #4 · answered by the real deal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this could definitely affect your marriage. Men love sex, to put it simply, there outlook on their married life usually goes hand in hand with the sex life. My suggestion is to go see a doctor about this, there's a possibility maybe something is wrong or on the other hand, maybe your husband is going too deep or pushing too hard, which could be the cause for pain. Either way I'd see a doctor. Good luck with the pains, hope all turns out well!
2006-10-11 06:13:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read all the answers but didn't see the problem my daughter had. She constantly found sex to be painful and after several months, she saw an OB/GYN.
She was flabbergasted to discover that her hymen had never broken and she was pregnant! The semen had managed to wriggle through a tiny, tiny opening. The Dr. surgically opened the hymen and she was able to enjoy sex and deliver vaginally.
There are many reasons for painful intercourse and an OB/GYN should be consulted. If it doesn't always hurt, could it be that he's not going slow enough at the beginning, to allow for the vaginal walls to open? When I was married, if my husband got in too big a hurry, it hurt but when he took his time and let me open, I was fine.
2006-10-11 06:48:07 · answer #6 · answered by lothespiritalker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does it hurt? I mean is he well endowed, or is it a friction issue of you not getting wet enough? Yes this will hurt your marriage at some point. He will be understanding but after a while, he will start to show some disappointment and possibly go out of the house looking for his release cuz it wont be about love.
If he is too big, then try positions that you can "control him" and how far "he" is inside of you (riding, doggy style), but if it is a matter of friction, then get some synthetic oils to help lubricate.
If it is an issue of condoms because they can be irritating at times too, then take them off and get on birth control.
2006-10-11 06:19:55 · answer #7 · answered by â¤??? ?å???? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you have been together for seven years, kudos to you if you didn't have sex with him before that, but O'm thinking maybe you did. If so, did it hurt then, if it did, it sounds to me that something is wrong. You need to see your Gyne for a thorough check-up. Newlywed sex should be a time of great, wild, and uninhibited sex. For the sake of your marriage seek help from an outside source. Are you possibly dry during intercourse, are you relaxed, and most of alll are you aroused? Those are all areas that you need to research. Sex doesn't necessarily make a marriage, but the lack of sex sure can break a marriage.
2006-10-11 06:18:49 · answer #8 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its a size issue. You could be small inside or he could be pretty large. But either way, yeah its going to affect your relationship eventually. You should ask your OBGYN about it. Maybe there are some physical problems you could overcome. Maybe the more often you have sex the more "broke in" you'll become and pain wont be an issue any longer. But its worth checking into. Also, if you want to keep your man from having problems I suggest pleasing him in other ways like oral or even anal sex. That way he wont go elsewhere.
2006-10-11 06:14:43 · answer #9 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should see a doctor. You might have IC (Interstitial Cystitis) also known as PBS (Painful Bladder Syndrom). You could also have a reaccurring bladder or yeast infection. Or you could have a dryness problem, easily fixed by buying oils.
And, Yes, it will effect your marriage. I have IC and can only have sex every once in a while (I don't have health ins anymore and can't get the treatments). It has greatly effected my relationship and sometimes I worry he might leave me. Sex is a very important part of a healthy relationship.
2006-10-11 06:18:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋