Why do you think some men and women still think that once you get married or live together....?

Question

SHE has the role of taking care of him? Dressing him, cooking for him, cleaning for him and so on?
In modern society where do you think that notion comes from? He is an adult, just like her, so why that assumption is still living among us? Any ideas? Don't women think they don't want a child but a man to share their life? And aren't men tired of being treated like incompetent children?

I was just wondering because SOME of my friends who recently got married or are going to do so soon, are already reacting like that is women job to take care of their man. We all have been to same schools, etc and I would never be with someone who thinks like that, was just wondering why they think like that?

Answer 1

I was raised in a household where both parents worked and both parents helped with the housework and raising of the kids. Then when us kids got old enough, we also helped with the housework.

When I was working, I expected my fiance to do some housework to help me as we both live there, both make the messes, and both worked outside of the home. Now that I am without a job, I stay at home while my fiance goes to work. He works very long, hard hours on a farm (not one with animals, just crops and he is a mechanic there, among other things). During the summer he works from 6 or 7 a.m. and goes until 9 or even until midnight. During the winter, tho, he works from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. I do all of the housework. I do expect him to take out the garbage to the street on garbage night and to clean up after himself. I keep a pretty clean house so I don't have to do major work every day--and that can be hard to do with three very playful cats that get into anything and everything, like kids do!!

I believe that a woman or man that stays home while the other one works should do the major majority of housework to help the other feel more comfortable at home, to show their love and appreciation to the one working (not that the one at home isn't working cause housework is work), and because they want to do it--not because they HAVE to do it because it is demanded of them by their partner.

I don't cater to my fiance, and he is fine with that, unless he is sick and can't do things for himself. He doesn't cater to me either, unless I am sick and unable to do things for myself. I don't cook every night. I usually cook about 1-2 times a week, and make enough at that time to last 2-4 nights so I don't have to cook as often. If we don't have leftovers, then we have TV dinners or sandwiches. We are both fine with that. My fiance will eat anything I make or will get his own if I don't cook. This works for us, but may not work for everyone else.

The idea of women catering to their men, etc, came from olden traditional times before women were allowed to work or vote.

Answer 2

When my husband and I both worked, we split all household chores down the middle. Actually, I worked overtime a lot and he did all of the cleaning. When I was there, though, we alternated on things we both hated doing like dishes and laundry. Now that I am unemployed, I assume complete responsibility of the house. He still does yard work on the weekends, but really, how can I expect him to come home and clean when he's been working all day? He even does the dishes after dinner on most days, but it just doesn't seem fair to me. I keep my house relatively clean so I really don't have to do much on a day-to-day basis. We don't have any kids, sans messes and we even have a robotic vacuum so I only do major vacuuming on the weekend. I basically read all day, then make dinner. I don't expect my husband to have to lift a finger.

I will admit to dressing him, though. I will never stop either! He has absolutely no sense of style or color coordination. If I didn't put his clothes out, I'd be too embarrassed to walk next to him.

Answer 3

I can say that I was raised by a mother that refused to wait on my dad hand and foot. She was still a great wife, but she made him participate in the daily chores. I, however, am not like toward my husband. I try to cook dinner every night, I do laundry, clean the house, etc. He handles the yardwork and the bread-winning. I think that he works very hard every day to give our family all of the things that we need and desire, so I believe it is my responsibility to keep up the housework. If I worked hard and made more money, then I would assume that he would take on his fair share of housework. I think it's an even trade...housework for hard work.

Answer 4

Men seem to want a "mother" as well as a mate and friend. Most mothers still do everything for their kids, so guys expect it from their wives. Most men are messier and care less about a clean house, etc., which means they probably didn't do much of that stuff before they were married. I personally haven't ever met a man who did as much around the house as his wife. I did know a woman whose husband was so meticulous that he did all the housework. She found it a bit annoying, so nothing is perfect, but I sure would like my husband in that mode so I could see how it would be.

Answer 5

I work and so does my wife so we split house hold chores down the middle. I cook dinner do dishes and the yard work. She does the laundry, vacuums and all the deep cleaning ( dusting etc.). I think under our circumstances that's the fair way to do it. However if I was the sole income provider and my wife stayed home I would fully expect her to do what you mentioned. If you are a stay at home wife or husband then it is your job to do those things in payment for what your spouse is doing to earn an income.

Answer 6

Your marriage is only like that because you tolerate it and allow it to happen.

Smarter women with more self-respect do not let this happen. They require more from their husbands. They choose husbands that do not see equal effort as a chore. They choose men who are happy to contribute to the home as well as the marriage.

Some people learn about the behaviors you described, from their families. They accept it as normal. They perpetuate this idea with the way they behave with each other and their children.

Answer 7

My marriage is not like that either. I do believe the the man takes care of the outside, and the woman take care of the inside. Just my opinion. I hate taking out the trash or raking leaves. He hates to cook and clean, so....whatever works for you

Answer 8

I think there are women out there that love being the one who nurtures her loved ones. I also thinnk there are plenty of men out there that like that,,, and there are still more men out there that do act like incompetent children and need a controling type woman to keep them in line. Just remember this, no-one can continue to do things for you or to you that you don't want.
Have a great day!

Answer 9

I believe women should adapt the role of taking care of her husband after marriage.

There is no greater blessing than a woman whose grace, beauty and love warms a home like sunshine. There is no greater gift than the precious love she gives husband and children. Since when did caring for your husband become treating him like an incompetent child? Happiness can only be found in love, not self-seeking.

That notion that men should be cared for comes from traditional views. When men were the breadwinners and women were in the home not able to work. They cared for thier husbands which entails cooking, cleaning, loving, spoiling etc.

I was born in England and live in canada and I was rasied that you do indeed cater to your husband. You do not do this unwillingly, you do this because you love him and want to please him. In turn, he also caters to you in other areas, financially, sexually, emotionally.

My fiance does not feel he is being treated like a child for he isn't. I simply adore him and I do things for him not only because it makes him happy because it makes me happy.

Answer 10

I think that sometimes these ideas come from the way we are raised. Personally, I would not do not want a man I have to cater to. And being a mom of four sons, I have raised them to know how to cook, clean, do laundry,etc. These are important life skills that everyone man/woman should know how to do. God bless