can you fix w/out counseling?

Question

Me and my husband have been togeather for 8 years and now that we are married and have our first baby. He doesnt know if this is what he wanted he just isnt happy and doesnt know why he is trying to find another job and we are trying to make bills less he thinks things might just be to hard for him right now but he did say he loves me

Answer 1

He might need counseling. It would help if you went together. If he won't go, keep on being the person he loves. It sounds like a mid-life crisis. Without pressuring him, try to make his life a little more fun.

Answer 2

Anybody can fix something if the communication is there. But sometimes having an outside person mediate and get you to see things, can be a tremendous help.
Sweetie, it sounds like he feels very pressured. Let him know how much you appreciate and love him. Also let him know how lucky your child is to have him as its daddy. He needs to be lifted up and know that everything is going to be alright. You are on the same side and together things will be worked out. Start out with the categorizing your bills. Take the smaller ones and pay them off first. Then start chipping away at the big ones.
Please know that every couple goes through this. Do you have any couple friends? Have them over for pizza or something. Getting together and having a little fun will put your life and troubles into perspective. They are still going to be there, but do not let them rule your life. Your child needs the both of you and strength is in numbers. Hang in there...

Answer 3

I dont think you need counseling I feel that this can be resolved. First of all your husband married you for better or worse and you have a bundle of joy that needs both of you to be there and love him/her unconditionally. Its a little to late you cant take the baby back and he married you because he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life w/you. We all go through tough times the bills get pile high,we are tired of working all the time but thats life. You need to have a serious talk w/him 8 years in a long time and you dont want to throw it all away because things are happening unexpectedly. If you cant work this out on your own then you must decide is this what you want having a family is a big responsibility just try to work this out good luck.

Answer 4

Yes, almost anything can be fixed or worked on without counselling. BUT.... the major things is, BOTH parties have to be willing to work on it; it can't be just one-sided or one person putting forth all the efforts trying to make things work while the other person just throws caution to the wind or doesn't put any effort into it.

The two of you have to come to an understanding together of whether you truly want to be married to each other anymore or not. Maybe sit down and just point out the pros and cons (for lack of better wording, sorry) of staying together or whatnot.

Try to spend some time together, just the two of you. Go out on some dates, go to a movie together, go out to dinner or go out dancing, whatever the two of you might enjoy together. Get to know each other again and just talk about whatever may come to mind, don't put too much pressure on the situation.

I do truly believe though that people should give it a good try of trying to work things out before just giving up and calling it quits; that is the easy way out. Many couples have thought about going their separate ways before but after truly thinking about it, have been able to work together and have then become happier together than they have ever been.

Good luck to you.

Answer 5

If you love each other than it can be fixed. Talking about things is the best way to fix things. Having a baby is making him realize alot of things and your time is more focused on the baby and he is struggling to see where and when he fits in. Things will get better. This happened to me after I had my 2nd child. Everything will work out in time. My kids father didn't like the fact that I was sleeping on the couch with the baby. I should have been sleeping with him, even though the baby wouldn't sleep. Good luck!!

Answer 6

Actually yes you can fix this if you will be open to logical and truthful advice. I'm a christian, not a religious nut. I have noticed throughout my years of being saved that a marriage can be fixed if you give it to God. I guarantee that if both of you start going to church every time the doors are open and get saved and start giving to the Lord. He will have His will and way in your lives. You should find a good Bible believing church near you and talk to a pastor. I'm a Baptist, so of course I'm bias. You should look for a church that believes that the KJV is the inspired word of God, that is missions minded, and that is independant and fundamental. You may not know now what all of that means but if you start going and get saved it will all be clear.

Answer 7

I think that you and your husband need to go to counseling. It sounds like he was fine and now that ya'll are married and have a baby he doesn't want to be tied down anymore. If you don't see any improvement after counseling then I would take my baby and move on with my life. Good Luck!

Answer 8

The harsh reality of fatherhood takes some adjustment. Men always question their circumstance with the additional responsibility or should He is not describing an issue with you so that's a plus. Tell him you are with him and understand his questions. Give him you rsupport and work through it. You probably do not have the cash for therapy so just stay with it for a while.
Yes you can get through it without counciling. Do not quit talking.

Answer 9

If you haven't figured out a way to fix it by now and you both want to see if you can save the marriage....seek counseling.

If you find the right therapist it can make a world of difference and make you're marriage even better than before.

It's worth a try.

Answer 10

First you might need credit counseling to get your bills under control..then couple counseling to get your lives back together. Try talking to each other. Men are wired different that us women.