My friend's ex-husband went off on drugs, went to rehab and when he left rehab, he didn't come home to her, he filed for divorce instead. She put up with a hell of a lot of crap from him and still forgave him and stood by him throughout his drug ordeal. She can't understand why he wouldn't have discussed what he was thinking and feeling with her first. What would make him leave this good woman, I can't understand it and neither can she.
2006-10-11 05:34:24 · 26 answers · asked by Yolie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A lot of it may be self destruction on his part. Maybe he is feeling really low of himself and feels he is unworthy of having her in his life anymore.
Of course, it can go the other way. He might just be hugely ignorant and not realize what he had in front of him and what he is leaving behind. Men leave good women all the time, I have had 3 men leave me for another woman, only to later on regret it but what's done was done. Sometimes men are just ignorant to realize what they have or sometimes they just don't care and want to run the other way and go off in life and do whatever they want. He will regret it in the end.
2006-10-11 05:37:35 · answer #1 · answered by jennnnn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some men and women for that matter, get this notion in their head that the grass is greener on the other sad. Of course in most instances it dont turn out to be as good as they thought and they always try to go back where they should have stayed in the first place. Consider it a blessing on her behalf that she dont have this man in her life. I know people who have been to rehab for drugs more than once and they are still on drugs, so he did her a favor. Tell her to be strong, keep her head up because she will find someone more deserving.
2006-10-11 05:48:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He left because he is a confused person. I understand the ordeal that she went through but it is not really worth being with a man who have a history or dealing with drugs and alcohol . It will definitely affect you getting stressed out of his issues for the rest of your life and kids if you have. No matter how you think you can resolve it., you can't. It's a mental disease. Move on and find somebody else and I'm pretty sure he'll be back again and again because she is his security blanket. Get out of this man.He is history.
2006-10-11 05:46:20 · answer #3 · answered by Cindy R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similiar situation. I attended AA and NA to try to figure out what happend and how to deal with it..what I learned and the best explanation I can give is that people with addictions that decided to do right (either by choice OR order) Can do it.. I have heard that when an addict is in recovery, they are told to try to do away with ny 'reminders' of their abuse..She may be a good person and have only the best intent, but there could have been some little something that would trigger him..I would suggest to your friend that she not sign ANY papers, first of all...but to give him a bit of recovery time to himself to sort things out in his head..She may be surprised..Continue to be of support and to understand..it will be helpful for her (or anyone) to go to a few meetings (as a support measure, or just to help yourself understand)..if you read the 12-step program, that will shed a bit of light on the way he was just "taught" to think..I hope this helps!
2006-10-11 05:48:20 · answer #4 · answered by heandI 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because maybe he wants to start a new life. A life that isn't filled with the memories of when he was an adict. It's sad sad sad that she was not included in this new life, but it's something that should be respected; you can't force someone to be with you.
Also, was she an enabler? If so, maybe he now needs someone to kick him in the butt and keep him on track.
He may have not wanted to discuss it with her for the selfish reason that he has been feeling that he let her down in so many ways and just wants to move on and not be humiliated. For whatever reason, I feel for your friend. It's a crappy situation, but she will survive.
Take care.
2006-10-11 05:38:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it could be one of two things, and maybe even a little of both:
1. She enabled him in his drug use, or he feels she was a reason behind his drug use and now that he's clean he feels being with her will make it harder to stay clean.
2. He associates her with the time of his life when he used drugs, and he doesn't want to have anything to do with that life anymore.
2006-10-11 05:43:29 · answer #6 · answered by jenieatworld 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course only he knows.
Possibilities:
He found another woman to help him with his addiction.
He came to understand his wife may have been an enabler for his addition.
He is just plain stupid and she never noticed with all the drugs.
She may have been the reason he got help and after going through that he blamed her.
As you can see even these make no sense. That is how relationships are.
2006-10-11 05:45:16 · answer #7 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only reason I could come up with is, onl drugs she was nothing but a parent to him she put up with his crap(and that is awesome ) but sober he is a different person.My ex was severally depressed and when she was on medication she was cold and unloving.Depressed she was clingy and needy. The only real explantion is he felt that when he was drunk and high he needed her now he is sober he don't want her .Sad and unfair as I felt because my wife left me and my kids but I got through it .But yes they are still jerks for doing it.
2006-10-11 05:52:29 · answer #8 · answered by ga44male 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both are a bunch of idiots. Why would you surround yourself with so much drama. If the man does not want her then she needs to get a life and move on. HELLO. How about you both finding someone who cares about you then get on with your lives instead of chasing after someone who doesn't want her. That's why God didn't join us at the hip. HELLO.
2006-10-11 05:42:28 · answer #9 · answered by joe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He finally sobered up and realized what type of person she really is. She's probably the reason he was on drugs in the first place.
2006-10-11 05:36:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋