help! My husband needs help.?

Question

he has a problem with "talking down" to people. He makes them feel stupid and insignicant. How do I show him that he does this? He does not think he does.

Answer 1

Many times people talk down to others is because of their own insecurity. You need to point your husbands behavior out to him when he does it and tell him how hurtful it is. If he doesn't see it then he may need counseling.

Answer 2

You may want to ask him if he wants people to feel uncomfortable around him. Chances are, he doesn't at all. Let him know, without taking the accusatory stance, that he needs to understand that how he thinks he is, can be very different from how he actually is.

The main problem is his lack of openess.
If he is not open, he will not grow. He will not become a better man, which unfortunately can lead to him looking around and seeing no one there.

I suggest approaching him from a loving standpoint, whereas you're trying to help him have a better life, filled with more Love and happiness.

Answer 3

My husband is a doctor and is guilty of doing the same thing! He even talks down to his own staff! He is excellent at what he does but the talking down to people makes him seem like a pri*k. I have had to apologize to people on his behalf before. I started calling him out on it right when he does it. I do not care if it embarrasses him! He has to stop doing it or he will be left standing alone!

Answer 4

This could be a sign of verbal abuse, especially if he does it to you, or his kids. My husband use to do that to me all the time. I divorced him (for being controlling, manipulative, and dominating). My self-esteem was so low after having been with him for so long, and all of his belittlement and "talking down" to me that I felt like the scum of the earth. Now that he is not around, I am findingmy own identity, and realizing that his attitude was not my problem, but his. He might refuse to "know" that he is doing this, if he is in denial. My husband would NEVER admit his wrongs- not in a million years. It was always someone else's fault.

Answer 5

First of all, if he does not think he does then you won't get anywhere with him by trying to change him. People will change once they realize that they have a problem, he will only get defensive when you point out his flaws. Trust me. If I were in your shoes, I would set examples (without letting him know they are examples) Be polite to people while you two are out, show good manners "please and thank you" pretty soon he will pick up on this and realize that he needs to change!!

Answer 6

He seems to have a problem or two. I highly recommend he seek counseling. If he thinks he's above counseling (and that everyone else is the problem), I would most likely leave him because he is only going to continue indulging himself in his hateful behavior.

Answer 7

Find someone who pursues this trait even more strongly than your husband. Get them to 'talk-down' your husband. Your husband needs a practical show-down to realize how he humiliates others.

Answer 8

There are a few ways you could tape him so he could hear what he is doing, or when he does it ask him to think about what he says, or if he does it to u the best way is to answer back and maybe he might see what hes doing.

Answer 9

You might try recording one of his conversations and playing it back for him. You can both discuss the words and tones he uses and perhaps come to some agreement as to how or why he does this. Good luck!

Answer 10

Counseling.