Why do people warn about the negative with new relationships?

Question

I've heard a lot of "be careful", "don't go too fast", "watch out for this"... blah blah blah. Why can't they just let me have my experience with them telling me negative stuff?

Answer 1

Maybe they're jealous, but more likely, they don't want you to make the same mistakes they've made (i.e., they actually care about you and want to help you out). If you don't want all the negativity, maybe you can let them know (if they're a friend or relative) that while you appreciate their concern, you'd prefer them to be more upbeat for you instead of being pessimistic. Or to just leave you the hell alone.

Answer 2

I think the more "head over heels" a friend is in a short period of time, the more likely I'd be to say, "don't go too fast."

So say if my best friend had only been dating a guy for a few short weeks and was talking about how perfect the guy is, and already talking about marriage and family, I'd be concerned.

But if she was really crazy about him and still sounding realistic, like "let's see where this takes us." kind of attitude, then I would think she is being smart and giving the relationship room to grow so she could see the "real" side of him.

I mean lets face it, none of us really shows the "real" side of us when a relationship first starts. That's just human nature.

Maybe you are just gushing too much and not displaying a sense of reality. You can still be crazy about him, just give it time to see all the sides of him and let him see all sides of you. Then if you're still mad for each other, screw everybody else's warnings.

:)

Answer 3

because most people have had unfortunate experiences in their past...it rarely happens that a relationship is perfect and happy...most end up bad, and that's what people are used to. if things would have been going better, you would have received different advice.don't think of what others tell you...just look forward to anything that's coming your way, and keep your hopes.i have had many very unpleasant experiences.i still hope for good things, and whatever the risk i open my heart to any new relationship.i'd rather live it all, pain and joy, rather than die of old age and excessive caution.good luck :)

Answer 4

Because they care about you, and want to share their wisdom with you.
There is a saying: "A wise man learns from others mistakes, but a fool learns from his own."
I don't know if I agree with that completely, but there are things you don't need to experience to observe and know that they would be bad. Like staying in an abusive relationship. Hopefully you are "wise" enough to know it would be foolish to stay with someone that caused you physical harm.
As I said before, they are sharing their pearls of wisdom with you because they care about you and don't want you to experience some of the heartache they did... or at least prepare you for it in the best way they can.

Answer 5

That's Just Peoples Hurts coming out from their Past relationships(Trying to Muddy Your Waters!!)
Try Not to be Influenced!
It's Your relationship! If they want to help you as friends-tell them to say Only Positive things!!

Answer 6

its either they really care or simply just give u all the negative things so that even you have not started the relationship u become paraniod over little details and it will be doomed from the start. just ignore them . its good to be able to learn it by yrself.

Answer 7

I think its because Heartbreak is one of the most painful things that you can endure. And if you fall for someone, and they turn out to be a jerk, then you will be in for heartbreak. And that's very painful!

Answer 8

They may notice a pattern in your dating behavior and are trying to help you along. Either that or they are just unhappy and being nosy.

Answer 9

I suppose b/c they care, or have had prior experience, and don't want you to go through bulls*** or get hurt.

Answer 10

Because they are just plain bitter!