pls help me urgently.?

Question

i am married with no child, i've been having an affair outside my marriage. its really bad that i keep thinking about that other guy.i really want to stop but dont know how to stop,because am trying to conceive too so am sure its why am not able to conceive pls someone help pls i want to save my marriage and start a family pls am on my knees i need advice.

Answer 1

If you have no brains and self control please do not solicit any of mine. Keep your loose morals to yourself please. I shun members of society such as you.


Begone.

Answer 2

Did you think having an affair would help you conceive or help your marriage? Cheating will never help a marriage.

If you really want advise, then stop seeing this other person and start working on the issues that your marriage has, because if it were issue free than you would not be cheating.

After that is resolved, then continue working on the children thing. Bringing children into a bad marriage is never a solution, it normally only makes the marriage worse.

Answer 3

There are a couple of thing you have to realize.

First, having a child does not repair a marriage. That's not the way to save a marriage. The only way to save your marriage is to dedicate yourself to the marriage. Which brings me to point two.

Two, having an affair certainly is no way to save your marriage. You must know that. It's a selfish act that serves only yourself. To the contrary, it's the best way a destroying a marriage. You say you can't stop thinking about him. That's because you don't want to. This other guy is some sort of crutch whether that crutch be emotional, physical, or whatever. It certainly is not a spiritual crutch.

So choose. Break it off with one of them. Dedicate yourself to one guy. That's how you stop thinking about the other. Steel your nerves and tighten your guts and choose. Only after making the choice should you start to consider starting a family.

Answer 4

You need help. And not of the sympathetic kind, either. You say you can't stop yourself. You say you are trying to conceive. Have you ever thought that if you do get pregnant, it might not be your husband's? Have you ever thought that your actions can lead to very big consequences in your life? You put yourself into this position and you want out, and yet, you don't know how to control yourself? First of all, break off the affair and tell your husband about everything that happened. I feel very sorry for him. Secondly, get some martial counseling, and another counselor for yourself. You seem to have a lot of issues with yourself...a woman with good self esteem would never do something like this. Counseling will help you find out why you did this and why you have these problems. Good luck.

Answer 5

Here is my "male" point of view for you. You are awful. You entered into a marriage. a commitment. You broke your promise. You should just file for divorce now. And to think you want to start a family. That's the topper. That is a sign of absolute immaturity. What happens if something fails in your affair and you become pg with his kid instead? Are you just going to pass it off as your husbands kid? That would be one of the worst and most devastating things you could do. One lie leads to another leads to another and so on and so on. Before too long you'll be riddled with guilt so much so that it will affect you physically and emotionally and your husband will suffer. You will suffer. Your kid(s) will suffer the most. How dare you try and bring a kid into the picture when you are not capable of giving that child a stable home with stable morals. If you weren't able to keep loyal then you should never have got married.
I agree with the people above me, tell him what you have done. Come clean. Then bow your head in shame and leave.
And another thing. I cannot believe you actually posed this question. You must have been looking for sympathy. Well, if you are looking for sympathy from me, it is in the dictionary between sh*t and syphilis.
As you can see, you've made me a bit aggravated. I need a smoke. c-ya!
PS- God helps those who help themselves

Answer 6

First you need to practice some self control. I can't believe you are trying to conceive a child with your husband when you are having an affair. If you can't restrain yourself think of the child you are trying to bring into this world. Forget getting pregnant until you can decide what you want for yourself. If you truly want to save your marriage then you need to give your lover up and work on being a good wife and mother. Seems like you want your cake and eat it too.

Answer 7

You sure don't sound like you're trying to save your marriage by having an affair. If you really wanted to end it, you'd end it. Frankly, trying to have a baby in this situation is even worse. A baby isn't going to save your marriage - quite the opposite. Would you even know who the father was? I think you need to grow up first, deal with your affair, deal with your marriage, and then think about conceiving. Speak to your spouse and speak to a marriage counselor.

Answer 8

we can't make you stop having an affair..... it's seems you are doing this to have a baby and that's wrong.....because you'll hurt your husband, probably end the marriage and lastly you don't know if the lover will try to see his child or take the child from you if you get pregnant and have a baby that's proved to be his.... you're playing a risky game and people/lives are going to be hurt/ruined over this affair!
If you really want a baby - you and your husband go and get examined by your doctor and see if there's any medical reason for you not getting pregnant....

Answer 9

Stop trying to have a baby. You of all people do not need to bring a child into this world when you cannot even be faithful to your husband. You need to be honest with your husband and beg for his forgiveness. But I think that is a long shot. Honesty is the only way to save a marriage.

Answer 10

first of all how selfish of you to think that by conceiving a child your relationship with your husband will be fine. You can't even stop thinking about another man and being with him on top of it. Children should not be an option for you. Until you can come to terms that a marriage is sacred and stop your childish fulling around I wouldn't even consider starting a family.

Answer 11

Well first you can stop but you aren't allowing yourself to stop. second if you are trying to conceive you should not be cheating anyways. Do you want to end up on Maury Povich asking who is my babies daddy? Also I would think you need to come clean with your husband the truth is the best answer. I mean marriage is all about honesty. What may come of that you need to take because you took the action to cheat.