Why would straight men look at butch or androgynous women?

Question

The cutie-pie butch woman who delivers me my Diet Pepsi (okay, fills the office vending machines) was very upset because a man asked for her number today. She wondered why he didn't "get it."

My wife is deliberately scrambled in her gender presentation and teaches martial arts. She's not offended when men ask her out, but she frequently wonders why a wiry bald woman who recently whupped their @$$es would interest her male students.

I think it's because they're both beautiful and because, as my straight brother says, "Men don't really want what we're told to want." But does anyone have any other theories as to why straight men would like butch and ki-ki women? I'm interested, and I know those lovely ladies would be, too.

Meavita, I just wanted to see if there were other theories. I felt like I was kind of dancing around the truth.

Answer 1

challenge. Ego. men like to think they can straighten a lesbian out. also, some men and gay and don't want to admit it so if they talk to a butch woman they kinda get what they want.

Answer 2

Androgynous Women

Answer 3

As a male attracted to androgynous women, this question had me conduct some brief soul searching. I think my attraction is the result of two things:

1) Immediate physically perceived sense of equality/greater similarity-
in a relationship, I strive for a true partnership. Equality in willpower, sexuality, ambition, individualness, love, and independence. To this reason, the androgynous female represents this equality to me. To clarify, I've also had a homosexual experience and decided it really wasn't what I wanted so let's get the "Bi-curious substituion" notion out of the way. I suppose my mind is under the influence of gender roles and accompanying characteristics of those roles. That being said, the stereotype of the feminine woman does not interest me as much. Not that I view feminine women as less then men, but that the difference between the masculine man and the feminine woman is so stark that sometimes i feel when I am in a relationship with a feminine woman, I am almost too different to belong. Physically, the congruencies between an androgynous woman and myself initially makes me feel as if I would be accepted and understood on a better level by someone who shares a "more similar" experience on a gender basis in the world. To sum, to my media influenced mind, the woman who tries to look more like a man is viewed more masculinely and subsequently experiences a world view perhaps more similar to a males experience by comparison then a feminine woman's experience ergo= a more mutually similar realm of existence ergo= a greater sense of belonging ergo= a greater attraction to be involved with that person. (Breath)

2) Stability, Trust, Companionship.
An example:
I live in the Middle Ages. I go off to war. I would rather love and be loved by the theoretical masculine woman who charges into battle with me then the damsel waiting at home for my return. Call it a heightened sense commradere if you will, which begets in my mind a more real sense of equality/sameness. With this sense of companionship, a deeper connection is formed. Androgynous women also strike me as women better able to understand why men act the way they do sometimes then feminine women are. Such as the classic example of a masculine man dealing with a problem by retreating to the "cave" state of solitude and silence for further analysis before sharing insight. Feminine women tend to have more of the "well" approach to dealing with problems which employs a propensity to talk to the man and other trusted people about the problem as much as possible, gaining a consensus, then making insight and sharing it. These two stratagems are often conflicting and paradoxed when the feminine woman wants to talk and the masculine wants to be alone. This garners feelings of resentment and a perceived breakdown of the relationship through no fault of the parties involved, but by their respective coping mechanisms. I perceive androgynous women to perhaps embody more male emotional traits and this, by extension, more uniforms the two's emotional processes and needs, making it easier to understand and constructively respond to each other.

I hope my overkill response has shed some light if even through my own lens.

Answer 4

There are some men out there who actually like strong women, fierce women, women who can stand up for ourselves and protect our sevles and our "other halves." Whether they be male or female.
This really excites some men.

I have a few male friends who wish I wasn't with my partner because, as they say, they'd jump on the opportunity to ask me out. Actually a couple of them did and that's how we became friends.

I'm never offended, only flattered, when anyone, male or female asks me out. It tells me that there's something about me that they find attractive. That's the best ego boost in the world!

Answer 5

I don't know. When I was in high school, I was in a construction class they had. I was the only girl for the two years I was there, I could out-lift and out-work the other guys, and still managed to have about half of them ask me out. I was not girlie at all. Wore steel toed boots all day every day, and was very muscular. I was only interested in one of the guys tho, so the rest would leave me alone. LOL. I think it is just the challenge of having a stronger women, and not a weak little girl. Something more challenging and fun. I think guuys like the idea of their women being able to kick their @ss, I don't know why tho.

Answer 6

It happens to me all the time. My old boss had an office full of beautiful fem women wearing short shirts. I dressed in pretty much suits, more masculine Jacket, slacks, cuff links, small heels... One day we were in a meeting and in front of everyone he announced that if he had any choice of women in the office it would be me... Usually I'm very witty but at that moment I was Speechless. I think that they view butch women as total aggressors and maybe that's the closest to being with a man without having a gay experience. Or maybe they want to see what we have that attracts there women..... Who knows.. You know that women are stronger than men, The fact that we are butch, emotional, sexy, and able to stand up to them turns them on.... Cuz they are a bunch of P.u.ss.y's deep down inside...

Answer 7

maybe those "straight" men are subconciously bisexual and use those butch women as a way to express their true feelings but are too afraid to actually confront it in the real world.

or they just really do like women of that sort which isn't bad anyway to each their own.

Answer 8

Are you only attracted to someone you want to have sex with? Would you ask someone out to socialize only if she were a potential mate? I hope not. Socializing is about many different types of encounters on many different levels. Many people enjoy getting to know other people out of genuine interest, shared thoughts and experiences, as a sign of respect, and to simply experience different views and understand different lifestyles. To attribute it all to morbid curiosity, cluelessness or "to want what he can't have" would be inaccurate.

Answer 9

We are like trophies to some egomaniac men, I am glad I am past that stage, it is offensive to have a guy hit on you when they know you are only into women. Peace.

Answer 10

Sometimes they're attractive. No matter how much they dress down, they're still attractive.

Also, some men like the boy-girl look.

Answer 11

Because straight men like WOMEN. All of them. Straight guys are completely clueless when it comes to a woman's sexual orientation. If a guy finds a woman half-way attractive, then he will make a move. Men think with their "little heads". Hell, even gay men think with their wee-wee's. The primary male motivation is to get laid. A straight guy sees something that he thinks is hot, and with boobs, then he wants it. Not rocket science. The lovely ladies in question should take it as testimony to their overall loveliness, rather than being puzzled or offended.