I have just been asked out by a older and more higher up person in the company that I work for. At frist I turned him down because of child care issues and I did not want to go out with him if he was only after sex. After talking to a colluege I have found out that it seems genuine. I emailed him back, being poliet saying I would try to get a sitter. There is two problems thou. If I got the wrong end of the stick I could have made a big fool out of my self at work and the other is that I have a boyfriend. We are on really thin ground and are talking about splitting up daily...he hit me the other day!!(that an other story tho)Should I just bite the bullet, dump my loser boyf and go on a date with this other guy? or will I just be making a fool out of my self?
2006-10-11 04:37:44 · 49 answers · asked by cutebeantree 2 in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
You have 2 very separate situations.
First, you must dump anyone who hits you. Then you should read up on abuse or go talk to an expert. Your company probably has a free employee program called something like EAP. You get a couple of free sessions.
Second: I'm now 56 and in my youth I was very careful to never date up the management chain. Boy do I regret that now. I watched others get promotions because of who they were sleeping with. I was going to be promoted on my own merits. Ha! Little did I realize that only a tiny tiny portion of workers get promoted on their own merits. Date the higher up and take advantage of the comfort of an older man who can be kind (NOT ABUSIVE) to you and help you get promoted.
2006-10-11 04:43:16 · answer #1 · answered by hawkthree 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dump the Dick that hit you,What ever else you do get rid of him.
Go on the date Play hard to get as far as the Sex goes but don't be preoccupied about it, The Sex is the first thing that comes into your head, You don't know what this man is thinking, Sure he must be attracted to you to ask you out, But that does not mean he wants to jump into bed with you straight away, He will probably jump at the chance if it is offered to him but that is down to you.
Go out enjoy your self and at the end of the night say good night tell him if you enjoyed the night and arrange another date if you did. And if you did not enjoy the date then you have the right to say sorry but you don't think that this will work for you and leave it at that.
Get rid of the hitter tho.
2006-10-11 04:59:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
now that you have said yes you should go ahead with the date but be honest and tell this guy (over coffee before the date) that you are coming out of a relationship and need time. This signals that you are flattered by his attention and would enjoy an evening with the guy from work but shows him you are in an awkward situation at the moment. Do Dump the looser if he hit you once he'll hit you again unless he goes for anger managemnet counselling which is rare for any hitter to do. Be careful what you say in any emails at work though you dont know what this guy is really like so be friendly but cautious. I hope you enjoy the date if it goes ahead and get over the nasty bf.
2006-10-11 04:51:26 · answer #3 · answered by . 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the loser boyfriend, but stay away from this new thing. Especially a colleague for now. You are just replacing the boyfriend and that is never the answer. Be alone, find yourself and then settle for nothing less than what you want out of a relationship. Time off is what you need. Take care of YOU
2006-10-11 06:27:33 · answer #4 · answered by gina_road 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should go out with him give it a try. u don't sound like ur happy with ur bf and he hit u (oh hell no) u can do better so start and go out with the guy. so what if u said no at first u were just being cautious and i don't balme u. Now u said yes so get a sitter and go enjoy urself or stay with a bf thats gonna put his hands on u. That's disrespectful and u need to have other options u sound young so in stead of worrying about looking stupid u might end up with the nagging thought of what if by letting this oppurtunity slip away
2006-10-11 04:43:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1) Ditch the guy that hit you
2) DON'T date the 'higher-up' guy you work with. If you get promoted, you'll be seen as the office ****. If you break up, he might look for an excuse to fire you or get you fired. I have no respect for anyone that sleeps with their higher-ups to get promoted, and I know I'm not the only one. That may not be what you're trying to do, but trust me, that's EXACTLY how it will look. Third option? Give dating a rest. Then, when you know you're not just looking for 'a rebound', go ahead and date someone outside the job. Just think-if a date with someone at work doesn't work out, do you really want to still see him everyday?
2006-10-11 04:54:25 · answer #6 · answered by MigukInUJB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you go out with this new guy and be honest with him, tell him you r circumstances and where your at with your current bf, that you are splitting up. Honesty is the best answer....also be honest with yourself, if you think at any point that he might be in it just for the sex then confront him and ask him out right. If you get the answers u want then good for you, even if u don't get the answers you don;t want then you haven;t really lost anything. You will not be making a fool out of yourself although you will show self security and sophistication.
2006-10-11 04:53:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Answers:
A.) If you are talking with your boyfriend about
breaking up...DO IT. Don't wait around. Get clear
of that situation and end it completely. No going back.
No further phone calls...no further dates of any kind.
B.) The rule is don't date at work. If you are going to break the rule...it must end in marriage to be successful
and permitted at work. Have a nice dinner date with the guy. Be friendly and talkative. Listen to him closely and encourage him to talk about himself. Give him lots of time to tell you all about himself. Do not discuss your Ex Boyfriend with him at all. Tell him that "Yes" you have dated some and had several boy friends. Do not give him many personal details. Go home after the dinner date.
See what follows...
Maybe another dinner date. Do the same thing. Go home after the dinner date.
Nothing in that activity will get you in trouble at work.
2006-10-11 04:52:23 · answer #8 · answered by zahbudar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump the abuser press charges for heavens sake! hes a criminal! go to a licensed therapist or look up domestic violence shelter and go to their outpatient or free support groups.
on the job dating is always a bad idea. gets tricky the underling will lose the job and since you are a victim not yet able to stick up for yourself your already on shaky ground.
what is wrong with being alone for awhile? isn't nothing better than something bad? if its not see why you cant make yourself Happy first.
maybe this guy sees you as a potential victim he should be knowing better than to date an underling hes already suspect in my book..sounds like you too think he is not a good guy already. why a r e you feeling so desperate to take such a risk is the important question for you!!!!!!!!
be careful and take care of yourself first.
is that guy worth losing your job for or making work horrible uncomfortable, i doubt it!
and it doesn't sound like hes sent you roses or anything to say he knows this is not approved but thinks you're soooo special make it worth the risk. and is he being honest to other coworkers- or hiding another sign of a bad intent.
2006-10-11 04:49:41 · answer #9 · answered by macdoodle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump the loser bf even if you decide not to go out with anyone else. Don't have your child grow up thinking it's OK for you to be abused. Your child might also eventually get abused
This is far worse than making a fool out of yourself.
2006-10-11 04:49:53 · answer #10 · answered by bw_r005t3r 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋