I am married, he is married, know each other from past 2 yrs now realised that we are in love cant stay away from each other, but he doesnt want to spoil anybodys life neither his wifes nor my husbands , we two are happily married but how and when did it happen , dont know, now we have stopped talking also but till when ....... pls suggest a way out or what should i do continue or discontinue??????????
2006-10-11 04:22:00 · 14 answers · asked by dax 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh dear...this is such a delicate situation and only both of you can able to resolve it...as you said that both of you are presently happily married w/ someone else.....in this case both of you have to sacrifice whatever relationship you have now,i think we should not hurt so many people in order to be happy together...esp. if both of you have both kids.
I do understand what's both of you are going through,it do happened,sometimes the situation are playing us out... cause we thought we are already married to someone w/c we thought was the one for us...we never expect that our soul mate have not come yet...when it came,it's too late as we are already bonded w/ someone else.
And sometimes we can't control our feelings,a strong feelings that lead us to forget the reality and when we woke up,we had committed a mistakes,a mistakes that we called "love"...
But let us look back to our real world...and once and for all let us once asked ourselves...can I able to leave my husband?,a husband that the only wrong he did was to love me?can I able to leave my children? those children who suffer for what I did or going to do? can I face the world? can I still walk on the road w/ my face up and not facing the ground? should I can able to bear to see his family w/out him by their side...Am I ready? Am I?
Good Luck! may GOD lighten up the path you are heading... May the God bless you and your family always!
2006-10-11 04:48:52 · answer #1 · answered by msshy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say that if you have feelings for him then you are not happily married. If you are in a happy marriage you won't stray. I don't think straying is completely un normal but for the most part people who do it, do it because there is something missing in their relationship. The thing is though, you need to decide what you want. If you want your marriage to work then you need to figure out what it is that is missing and try and fix it and don't talk to this guy every again. That will only bring up temptations. But if you want this other guy than you owe it to your husband to end the marriage. Don't do things behind his back. It's ok for a marriage to end that is why divorce was invented, if of course it's for a good reason. If you feel that you don't love him anymore or that you can't be faithful you need to walk away. you owe it to him and yourself. I'm sure he would rather you end it now then play him for a fool and then have him find out in the end. that is the worst thing in the world, to feel that things are fine and then to find out that that they haven't been fine for a very long time. You feel like an idiot, been there. It will be better for you to end it in the best way possible without decieving him or cheating on it. But you have got to do some serious soul searching and decide what it is you want to do because there is no going back.
2006-10-11 11:28:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you are happily married because if you were, you wouldnt have the neccesity to cheat on your husband. I know you said you have no idea how this happened; but it is not right to be w/ your husband and thinking about the other guy, you should be honest w/ you and talk straight w/ this guy you are in love with, figure it out and weight pros and cons; if you love him well leave your husband and if he loves you enough he would do the same, if guy think he just likes you dont risk your marriage; I think your husband is a good man that trust you w/ all his heart for you to be doing this to him that's not fear; talk to your other and find out; or even better look what you have and look what would you get if you leave your husband. Be honest and if you think you dont love your husband anymore (and even though the other one doesnt wanna be w/ U) leave him because the more you stay like this, the more damage you would cause him when he finds out about it.
2006-10-11 11:41:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is a delimma. Well you both did the right thing by staying away from each other. You both love the people you're currently with, you should stick by them and be happy and forget about each other. If something changes in either of your lives where you both end up leaving your current spouses, then you should look each other up and see if the spark is still there and go for it. But for now, stay with the man you are married to and in love with.
2006-10-11 11:29:24 · answer #4 · answered by Renee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Don't know how far things have gone but if you are already having an affair, you cannot really say you are happily married, that phrase is a two way street and your partner may think otherwise if they knew what was going on. You cannot really be in love with 2 people, you can be in love with one and in lust with another or in lust with both. Lust fades if that is what it is then stay away from each other and realize you would regret it after the lust fades and reality sets in. good luck.
2006-10-11 11:27:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should discontinue this game you are playing with him. This is most likely something fun and exciting to you and it probably reminds you of the days when you and your husband met. I recommend just staying away from him; you made a commitment to your husband and if you still love him, you would stop ALL conversation with the other person.
2006-10-11 11:26:25 · answer #6 · answered by flyboop_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have all the ans to yr questions above u knwo its wrong and a lot is at stake be glad it happend and discontinue.... this
some day u can sit down and smile that u did the right thing no regrets.
2006-10-11 12:09:47 · answer #7 · answered by haboba13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are really happy with your marriage then why are you falling in love with him?????? anywayz... if both of you doesn't want to ruin any marriage it should be stopped... only the two of you can stop it.. by ignoring each other until that feeling of "love" subsides... you know what i mean... right? it's a matter of sacrifice.,.. BUt marriage doesn"t mean that you'll have each other forever and ever even though you are not happy... ask yourself who can make you happy... in either way someone will be hurt in the end... USe your mind and your heart in choosing who is the guy for you.... ask yourself if you'll chose your husband are you going to be happy? or if you'll chose him are you going to be happy despite you ruin your own marriage and their marriage...??? ask yourself that and if you think what is the best for you then do it... asking guidance from GOd could help... i guarantee you that... it really helps
Goodluck and Godbless
2006-10-11 11:32:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should discontinue coz you wo are spoiling four lives. when you twoget married your wife and husband will curse you and you both won't ever live happy life. and the soluion for that is one of you should move to another city or state.
2006-10-11 11:26:03 · answer #9 · answered by Stesa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The operative word here is "happily" married.
Happily married people are faithful ones. I would recommend exploring this within your heart.
Best wishes.
2006-10-11 11:25:49 · answer #10 · answered by Robert 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋