i have phoned in sick with stress. i just felt i couldnt take any more of being in work. what shall i do?

Question

i have made an appointment to see a counsellor and also GP. i work in caring profession in a very difficult area. i am well - paid but i feel it just ins't worth it and need a break. the work will be waiting for me when i get back. i f i change my job i will lose my pension i think. i havent any other skills so cant change occupation very easily. i dont havemuchof a sociallife and don't know how to go about getting one. what shall i do? i have spent the whole of the day in bed

Answer 1

You have made good steps in contacting your GP and counsellor. Keep in touch with work and if you're at all interested in going back, ask if they have any access to occupational health services and if you can have a referral to them. There might be reasonable adjustments that can be made to your work (such as reduced hours, change in role or simply more support) which could help you keep working and manage your stress levels at the same time. If they have any sense, they'll bend over backwards to help you get back to work.

Answer 2

firstly I think you are doing the right thing by admitting a problem and seeking help from a counsellor and GP

However, it sounds like you need to find a different job. Look into your pension, as you might not lose it, if that is your concern.

I don't believe your skills aren't transferable at all. Surely you are not that specialised. What you do next might not be an exact match for your skills, but I'm sure there are aspects of your skill base that you can bring somewhere else.

As for social life, go out for coffee / meal with friends or colleagues and discuss your problems. The problems won't go away by staying in bed.

Read a self help / self improvement book too. As long as you do something constructive, you will feel better.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Helen,
You are depressed and have made the right move by seeing your doctor and a councillor. The former may prescribe something mild to give you a lift and the latter will listen and give you advice. Just talking to someone helps. You also sound lonely. You must make the effort to go out more. Think of what you enjoy doing and join a club, a class or even a church in your area. You will meet people there and one thing leading to another , you will make new friends. Treat yourself now and again to recharge your batteries (hairdresser/massage) since you can afford it. A little pampering goes a long way. After work, put your professional concerns aside. Go to see a film, a show or an art gallery. Take a brisk walk in a park. Get out! Any chance of a holiday away from home?
Learn to like yourself and others will warm to you. Take the first step and talk to strangers. You would be surprised at the number of people who go to the shops just for the sake of getting out and talk to somebody.
Like Pollyanna play the "glad game" when you are at work. Things could be worse. Count the good things that have happened. Be proud of the caring job you are doing. You deserve praise for doing it and I am sure you are appreciated.
Take courage. Those who read your mail will be rooting for you as I do.

Answer 4

If your GP agrees with your own diagnosis, your employer has to take it seriously. Talk to them about how you feel, your need to recharge your batteries, and maybe ask about a sabbatical period. They will hopefully prefer to do without you for, say, 6 months than lose you for ever, and you may be able to keep continuity of service that way too. If you're employed by a big public service employer (eg Council or NHS) then they'll probably be willing to at least consider it.

I hope that some time away renews your enthusiasm - the caring professions are always demanding, however much they pay, but as you must know they are also incredibly rewarding in other ways. If not, then you'll really have to think about retraining because there's no point feeling stuck in a job you can't stand until you reach retirement day. That's no way to live.

Answer 5

I think one of the first things to realise is there are lots of people who want to help and offer advice if you want it. Talking to a GP and counsellor is without doubt the best thing to do. The doctor can sign you off for as long as needed if you talk to them and explain the situation. This can then give you some time to work out with the counsellor and /or other outside agencies whether you want to stay where you are or if you want a change of direction.

The counsellor can help with relaxation and starting to change the way you think and react to a situation. They may suggest that anti depressants are something to consider, but they'll leave the final decision to you. You'll need to choose whether or not to ask the doctor for these. It would mean that you 'd be on them for about 6 months and they normally take a couple of weeks to kick in. You'd also need to be aware that you couldn't stop the medication abruptly. Come off them slowly with the help of the doctor and the counsellor. You may of course decide not to take them at all, and this is fine too. There's no absolute right or wrong way to do it, it very individual and it must feel right to you.

The anxiety around work can make it hard to have a clear picture of what you want to do. Time away from that environment might help to focus these thought and help you to relax.

Answer 6

Take time off - go on the sick for 6 months - someone else will look after things if you are off for a long period. If you work for the council you normally get 6 months full pay. Stress can kill you and in your profession you need a break. If you change jobs you wont lose your pension. If it is with the council it will always be there and you can take it when you are due to retire. If it with a life company again you wont lose it it still remains invested in your pension until you are ready to take it. Join a single club or take up a night class at the local college. There are a lot of people out there looking for friends. Look after yourself you will get strong again - I know I have been there.

Answer 7

You've made a great start by having the courage to phone in sick and give stress as the nature of your illness.
You've made another great leap by contacting doctors and counsellors.

Please remember, if your doctor sees fit to prescribe antidepressants for you, this is not a short-term solution, and not 'just until you feel better'.

The point about antidepressant medications is that they do just that - make it all feel better. So, if you take them just until you feel better, you are not giving yourself and your overburdened neurological connections time to heal themselves. Coming off antidepressants too early can make things a lot worse, it's a bit like putting a sticking plaster on a cut and then taking it off after five minutes because you can't see the bleeding any more.

I hope you are helped by the counselling process, this is the best way towards healing, along with sensible use of antidepressants.

Best wishes!

Answer 8

Firstly, calm down!
You have addressed what is making you feel so miserable - now do something about it.
You shouldn't lose your pension - this will just be frozen until retirement, once you start a new job you can start a new pension - if this is still in the health service you should just be able to restart it.
Look for a new job, one which will give you satisfaction and pleasure - or try for part time - you may reduce your stress levels this way.
Good luck

Answer 9

Talk to your supervisor about how unhappy you are...since you seem to be a long term employee...they will probably be very helpful in resolving your troubles. You have alot of experience that would be hard to replace! Maybe you are depressed...your local doctor could give you an antidepressant...until things get better. If none of this helps...look for another job. You might go to church or to community functions to find friends? Life is sooo lonely without friends. You would be surprised at the number of ppl that feel the same way you do. Hope this helps?

Answer 10

I was off for depression for a number of weeks and really didn't relish the thought of going back to work. I am now changing my career and will lose my pension until I am 60 but my health and happiness come first. Whilst you are online have a look and see what courses that you are interested are available in your local area, pick something and enrol. You'll improve your social life and learn something that will help you in the future. Good luck with it all.