Do you think you should divorce a spouse who has cheated on you once?

Question

If your spouse cheated on you and you found out about it would you try to work it out or divorce him/her?

Answer 1

DIVORCE......when a vow is broken....it speaks a lot for the character of the person that broke it, I could not live with that, constantly not trusting that person and questioning what or where that person is and who they are with....that will linger forever. I cannot accept that.

Answer 2

There is no short answer to this question, as all situations are different, but my thoughts are... if the person who cheated has fallen in love with someone else and it's been an ongoing thing, then yes, it's most likely time to part ways. If it was a one-time thing, then maybe you can both figure out why it happened and fix the problems in the relationship. If you decide to stay with him, then you have to forgive him... you can't keep bringing it up and persecuting him for the rest of your time together. Moving forward with a clean slate is important. Otherwise it means that you, in fact, haven't forgiven him... Yes, he cheated, but that doesn't give you the right to hound him about it forever. If that's the case, just break it off so you can both find happiness again. Infidelity happens for many reasons, and it doesn't have to mean the end of a relationship. Good luck!

Answer 3

No! my vows were for better or worse. A spouse cheating a tremendous betrayal in trust. I used to believe like so many of you that it should mean a definite divorce. Surprisingly, my wife cheated on me. I decided I was going to give her another chance, it wouldn't be just forgive and forget. She would have to prove to me that she was giving up as much as I had lost in my trust. She would go to counselling with me. She would have to work at proving to me that she was sincere about wanting me back and that this was not ever going to happen again. This doesn't mean I'd be playing games with her where I was going to be some jackass and make her buy me things, treat me like a king, etc. I would want to know I was respected. We would have to have talks about what went wrong, what each of us did or didn't do that contributed to the problem, why she doesn't think it would happen again. What would she do if she found himself tempted again, because you can bet if it happend again there would be no more chances. I'd let her know that, too. This is it. You took something that was strong and you've made it very fragile. If you aren't going to toe the line, you'd better just move on, because I'm not going to be treated like that. I don't deserve it. This isn't because I'm right and you were wrong, it's just that this is what it's going to be if you want me to be a part of your life. Well after after about two weeks she told me she didn't love me anymore, wants me to move out of the house and she will be filing for divorce.

Answer 4

Well you most certainly shouldnt just quit without trying to work it out. People make mistakes, even big ones. If your spouse is willing to be faithful and wants to work it out then you should give it a chance. It is for better or worse, not for better or worse unless the worse is cheating. It will not be easy and may end up in a divorce anyway but give it a chance. My ex wife cheated on me and I was willing to forgive her and work it out, she ended up leaving me, but I can look back and know that there was nothing else I could have done to save it.

Answer 5

Ive been cheated on by my wife and we're "working it out" only because we have kids in my opinion and I don't love her like I did before. our Purity is gone and we can't get it back no matter what is said or done. If we didn't have kids I'd leave her in 2 seconds flat. But, kids need parents. I secretly can't stand even looking at her now, when for the ten years before this I was so madly in love iwth hert. I was romantic, thoughtful, caring, a great sex partner (well hung, yes I said it) and a loyal husband. I still won't cheat on her to "get back" at her, or for any other reson, I'll instead keep pretending I love her until my kids leave the house, and I'll leave her in seconds flat.

So, if you're asking should you stay? if there are kids involved, yes. Be a good parent, and pretend to be a good spouse. If you don't have kids, ditch him/her fast. people like that are so self centered and only think about the here and now. why waste time on them?

Answer 6

Sweetie only you can answer that question. Speaking from experience you can hear all the "girl leave his ***" all you want to but if your not ready to go then you won't. The question is can you forgive him and move on? Without constantly throwing it up in his face?It is gonna be hard as hell. Trust me.You start thinking about vows and promises you made even though they broke those vows.Take it to GOD he 'll give you the strength to make the right choice for you.Whatever you decide. NEVER let a man break you and take your self esteem.Know you deserve the best because you are the best.

Answer 7

If he treats you with respect and is good to your children and is regretful about his infedelity try to work it out. Marriage before GOD is sacred,however if you believe you cannot forgive or let go of his betrayal you should divorce. I was in the same position and tried to work through it but I could not forgive. I am now remarried and so is my ex. We ALL go to our chidrens functions at school and once a month the two families we now have spend time together. (Dinner, or an outing at a park..etc) Sometimes the best thing to do is seperate. Sometimes not... Good Luck!!

Answer 8

I Think that People These Days are Actually trying to work through Issues Like Infidelity!

With Counseling to address reasons why! Then Anything is Possible!
Forgiveness is a Hard Human Emotion to put into Real-time Practice!

Answer 9

It depends on how strong your feelings are towards your spouse. If you feel that it is worth working on, give it a try but keep your eyes open. On the other hand, if there has been constant strife between you and your spouse and you see know other way, then it is best to part ways and start new.

Answer 10

I would try and work it out.especially with the kids.I need to accept the fact of my spouse's infedelity and come to terms with it.I'd also be cautious about judging how repentant he was after the mistake..n if he can revert..it'd call for a lot of calm thinkin,but if the stakes go against him,i'd have to leave him_what would I do in such a relationship?
But if I see he's making an effort,I would give it an honest work and put the past behind me.

Answer 11

Marriage is a sacred institution in which 2 people should not enter if they are not going to follow their vows.
Cheating could mean numerous things from just a kiss to actual intercourse. Most people would be able to get oer just a simple kiss but if intercourse is involved it is a complete betrayal of the vows that were taken upon entering into marriage.
I myself would find it hard to forgive. I know I would never forget which lies the problem that they will never be trusted again.
So in closing it depends on haw sever the infraction is.
Truth be told if he cheated you deserve someone who is going to cherish you and treat you like the princess you are