Is "'til death do us part" unrealistic in today's society?

Question

My grandmother, who was married for 50 years ( until my grandfather died)actually NOW says that it was too long to be with one person. You never would have known it while she was married. Was marriage as traditionally held actually meant for people who died at 35?

Answer 1

I really hope not. I hope that this trend of divorce ends soon. I hope people beging to realize not to jump into marriages and while married, not to be selfish but to try to keep their marriage working.. trying harder than anything they have ever done before.

Answer 2

There is no such thing as being with one persone too long in my view. People today quit when the road gets bumpy and that's where the bond to a strong marriage really grows, when the road gets rough. It's easier for them to take the memories and fade away only to start something new but what happens when the next one doesn't work either? Sooner or later they have to realize that there is a problem somewhere inside them.

On the other hand, life is like a circle and what has happened in the past will sooner or later happen again until they have the strength to break the circle. Experience talking here. I lived with my ex for 6 years and raised my step daughter before we got married to have our own family. She was divorced twice, both abusive, until I came along and showed her how not all people are bad. Guess what? Sixteen years later she left me for more abuse. She couldn't break the circle. Looking back through her family history, it followed her to this day. I say break the circle!

Answer 3

Times have changed, and yes I do agree that sometimes the whole concept of marriage can be unrealistic..especially if you can't stand the person you are with. But for those who are actually rare and far between, who love each other, this concept is just fine.

People have more options today, than they did in the past. Most people who married back then met their love when they were kids or met from a family friend. They dated who was in close proximity to them (ex: Johnny met Maria because they lived on the same block). Now, we have the Internet, trains, planes, etc, and can travel nearly all over the world. Plus, we can 'market' ourselves on websites such as myspace or match.com, and someone who finds us appealing, even if they are miles away, can reach us.

So, temptation and TOO MANY OPTIONS make people greedy, and they go through this 'grass is always greener on the other side' syndrome. While most people can be completely happy with who they are with NOW (except if that person is physically, emotionally or mentally abusive), they choose to find a 'better deal'.

In closing...we CAN stay with someone for the rest of our lives, and it CAN be fun, exciting, loving, and much more. But with so many people willing to cheat on their spouses just to get a sample of someone, it will be nearly impossible to see that happen. Remember...out of sight, out of mind. If you are married, and stay away from what/who may tempt you, you should be fine. Otherwise, your marriage will never last...we are still animals, just a bit more civilized.

Desi :-)

Answer 4

I don't know what the deal is with people and marriage now days. My mother and father have been married for over 35 years and they have had their fair share of good and bad days, but they never talked about divorce. But now days as soon as a couple has a tiny arguement and aren't able to see eye to eye on it, then they are ready to forget about the fact that they made a vow not only to their spouse, but to GOD! I've been married for almost 3 years and for the first 2, I felt as if we weren't going to make it because we both had different opions about how a marriage is supposed to be. He views it as more of a modern thing, basically he felt that I should be the one to change my ways. And I am more of a traditional person, I only saw marriage in one view. (the way my parents were) We are finally getting to a point were we can communicate on the same level about how to handle our relatinship.

Answer 5

Your grandmother grew up in a time when a "VOW" actually was binding promise. Today many say vows but seldom really mean it. Along with "for better or worse" they actually mean until life with you becomes too difficult and its easier with someone else.
I suppose 50 years is a long time to stay with just one person but isn't that what they mean by "The two shall become one..."
So many marriages are breaking down with infidelity due to the fact that people don't honor their vows and children are paying the price for it.

Answer 6

This is going to be difficult, but who else was your grandmother with before your grandfather? I think couples who only date each other and then get married, feel like they missed out on something, like dating other people and having different experiences. Those of us who have dated and not found the "one", are happy to find that person and willing to settle down. We have dated and dated and dated and can finally respect our partner for being everything we ever hoped for.

Answer 7

No. Marriage is intended for as long as you live no matter what your age expectancy is. In today's society people don't stick things out. When things get tough they bail. People marry with expectations that aren't reasonable and they are let down. People need to put things in perspective and make good descions when picking a spouse. Everyone would be a lot happier.

Answer 8

Marriage was meant to be one woman and one man for life. It is a blood covenant. Not a contract to be easily broken.

Many do not honor this, and many are paying the consequences.
You cannot break God's spiritual laws without paying, no more than you can jump off the top of a 6-story building, defying gravity, and expect a soft landing.

Answer 9

its not_it only depends on ur level of committment,respect ,love,trust and acceptance of each other despite all differences.And also,if ur willing to take pride in ur being able to remain faithful to each other and long for and enjoy each others company.
we've lost the patience to deal with individuals,we've become too material,greedy and fickle..we run after instant gratification instead of reaching for solid relationships to fall back on..
We've forgotten how special it is to have a single person in the world who'll never leave ur side,who'll walk beside u in life and hold u n pick u up with all the love u need when u trip or fall..or who'll just know ur mood by the move of ur hand or the corners of ur mouth.In short_we've lost intimacy...its all right to have multiple partners ,but who will know us in that special way we all secretly crave?
Its not the biblical notion of utter committment that is at fault or doubt..its US.

Answer 10

So are you actually saying that it marriage should have a time limit on it? We truely live in a selfish society. I dont think that because society is so flip about marriage that we should make it okay to be that way.