A Question about a 5month-olds needs.(Please, no sarcasm, or child's answers! Only read if you are an adult)

Question

i have alot to do oin a day, even though i am a stay-at-home-mom.

i'm worried im not spending enough baby and me time. Is there a recommened amount of time for playing with your child. (She is just about 5 months)
i do try to play with her when i can, and i always play with her at least 2 times a day, but i dont want to be neglecting something she mightneed more of.

I let her play on the floor with toys and i let her play in her Jumping-Jack.
Do any Mothers have any advice for me? Perhaps ways i can include the baby into more of my daily chores?

im already up from 430 to 1130. her father works 2 hours away from our home so he is gone most the day. besides basic chores, im doing online schooling, and working 3 days a week (which i take her with me, my job allows it) this is why im worried about her.

Answer 1

sit down, have a cup of coffee, and stop worrying. they need that floor time. it develops muscles, teaches them to crawl and roll over. you cna not hold your child all the time. that is not healthy. when you go into another room and she cries, and you come back, you are showing her that if she needs you, you will come. that is a good thing thatshe needs to learn. i can tell by how upset you sound that you are a good mom and only want to do what's right. here's the important part. is she happy? does she smile? is she healthy? i'm willing to bet the answer to all of those is yes. listen up. what do you need to do to insure you spend enough time with her? nothing. you already do. (if you need someone to talk to about the stress, feel free to email or im me. i've been there.)

Answer 2

If she is in the room with you and she can hear you voice it helps. Even while you're doing chores. It is never easy to balance things like this. I've got 2 kids under 5 and one on the way. Move her from room to room with you while you do things. And even while you're doing other things talk to her. I like to turn on music and kinda dance around my kids a bit while I do chores, they think it's funny and are entertained and I'm still getting things done. Don't rush the chores. They will be there the next day. It's taken me a long time to realize that and to get past wanting it done right away. As she gets older you will discover it gets harder and harder. When she starts to crawl and you can't count on her to stay in one spot while you work. They start demanding a bit more attention in a lot of ways. And they start dragging toys every where and pulling things down. If you think it's difficult now just wait. The key is to take it with a smile, enjoy these years they will go by so fast. My daughter is 4 now, and sometimes I wish I could go back to when she was smaller when all I did was worry about playing with her. The things she wants to do now are much more difficult for me lol. I'm not as active as she is anymore specially not at 5 months pregnant. If the laundry doesn't get done, don't stress. We have got our entire lives to do chores and only a few short years to spend with our children. I used to do chores every other day. Kind of spend a day ignoring any mess no matter what and do a simple dinner. And then do simple chores on the other days. and about once a week find someone to watch my kids for a few hours while I did the major stuff. Enjoy your sweet baby.

Answer 3

Our daughter is now 9 months old and I'm a stay at home mom, too.

What has helped me get things done and not feel like I was neglecting the baby is taking the baby along while I do my chores. When she was your daughter's age, I would take her swing into the kitchen when I needed to do kitchen chores. I would put her in her basinett in our room when I needed to make the bed and such in there and she would be in a bouncy seat or in her swing when I was doing chores in the living room.

I still take her along when I'm doing chores, except now she's in her walker or playing in her pack-n-play in the bedroom, or standing holding on to the furniture as we clean the living room.

While she tags along while I do my chores, I talk to her. Even if it's just to tell her how to clean a toilet, just the sound of your voice could make your baby's day! When I do kitchen chores I give her a lid from a pan, something shiny that I know will keep her attention and still be safe for her to play with. When we bake or cook at all, I play Julia Child and tell her all about muffins, cakes, cookies or meatloaf. She gets a cooking lesson and time with mommie while I get to know that I'm spending time with her and I feel like a good mama for teaching her a little something along the way!

Keep one thing in mind that will be vitally important to your child's well being and to your sanity as a stay at home mother... It does not all have to get done today! In fact, unless you are super mom, complete with cape and tights, it is most definitely not going to all get done today! That toilet scrubbing can wait until tomorrow, it won't kill you have take out for supper and the floor that needs to vacuumed is surely not going anywhere!

That child, though... tomorrow will be here before you know it. Take time to get down on the floor and play with her. Read her a story... splash around with her in the bath tub... hold her in your arms while she touches a leaf for the first time. This is a whole new world for her! See it through her eyes and you will be rewarded!

There are a couple of sites that I recommend that might help you out a bit. I've posted them below. The last site is a Christian one, but even if you're not one, the friendhship is a great help during those long stay at home mommie days and I've found a lot of useful tips to help me out around the house.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Try using a baby sling while doing chores around the house. She probably will not be afraid of the vacuum so you can hold her while doing that, sweeping, moping. Just don't get her around any chemicals. I put my little girl in her walker while I do some chores that I don't want her to be around like cooking, windows and dishes. There are times that I just put a blanket on the floor with a few toys and let her play there but I keep talking to her while I do things. It is good for baby to learn to play by herself so don't feel like you are a bad mommy!!

Answer 5

Talking to the baby and including her in what you are doing is a great way to make sure she's not feeling neglected. I'm not sure how big she is, and if you're able to, but try putting her in a carry pack while you vacuum or do dishes. She may be too big for that, but it'd be worth a shot (not to mention give you a little work out with the extra weight attached!) Also, you could just make sure she's in the room with you, either in her Jumper or Exersaucer (if you have something like that). Talking to her and looking at her will help, too. Don't worry, you're not alone in this. A lot of new mom's feel this way. You'll be just fine! :)

Answer 6

Don't put soooo much energy into being worried about not spending enough time with you little one. Just the fact that you are home with her makes a big difference! He KNOWS you are there. Trust me....................she will grow up and be fine :) It is actually good for children to have alone play time. As she is playing in her Jumping Jack, she sees you walking around doing what needs to be done..... as you go from the kitchen to the laundry room, etc. I usually stop and give a kiss or say a few words while moving around the house doing things that need to be done. If I'm upstairs, I take the little one with me and she plays while I do whatever else needs to be done up there. Again, your daughter IS and will be fine!

mb

Answer 7

I have three kids and I am a stay at home mom too. My first child is now an extremely needy child who cannot entertain himself even at age 8 because I was constantly playing with him, holding him, all the time, as a baby. I thought I was doing the right thing, but it back fired. Conversely, my third, of course, didn't receive nearly the same attention (being the third) and he is self reliant, confident and very happy to play on his own. He is happy when I join him but doesn't stop playing when I leave to make dinner. He likes to try things by himself, as opposed to my oldest who expects everything to be done for him. He'd even have me tie his shoes if I let him.

My point, teach your child to be independent. It allows him to feel confident and self assured. Play with him, sit near him, but give him space too. Don't pick him up the second he cries, he'll learn to calm himself down, (unless he's hurt of course and even then don't make a huge deal of it. Teach him crying is to get attention and once the help arrives, the siren should stop.

I'm guilty I guess of over stimulating my first with my attention and now we are having to learn all over again. Wish I'd known sooner. Oh well, live and learn!

Good Luck!

Answer 8

What all do you have to do that takes time away from your child?

First off.....you have a 5 mos old. When you have a young child, you can't keep a perfect house. You have to find some ways to compromise so everyone gets their needs met. Figure out what chores you can let slide a bit.

Second, are there ways you can interact with her while you are working on stuff or things that you can save to do while she is asleep? Like put her in the high chair while you are doing dishes or cooking and talk to her? Wear her in a sling while you vaccum? Sit in the floor to fold laundry near her while she has playtime?


EDITED TO ADD:
It sounds like you may be trying to be "supermom" and do too much! Try to find some ways to strike compromises and balance your life a bit more. You are going to burn yourself out.

Answer 9

While you are doing chores, like laundry or any that will not put her in harms way, make sure that she is there with you. talk to her will you are doing them. I also agree that you could get up a little earlier or go to be a little later and get some of the chores done, you may also want to try to get somethings done while she is napping, and don't believe people that tell you that if you hold her to much that she'll be spoiled. I held my children any and every time I had a chance and we are very close and they aren't spoiled. Good Luck.

Answer 10

That is probably the sweetest question I have read. You obviously love your baby and she will feel that from you. But to answer your question, there are many ways to work her into your daily chores. I used to carry my son in the carrier that attaches to your body while I did certain chores. Also, when you are folding laundry, sit your baby in the middle and fold the clothes around her. She may knock down a stack or two sometimes, but it will be worth it. When you are cooking or washing dishes, place her close to you in a carrier or a walker or her jumping jack and talk to her as much of the time as possible or sing to her. Tell her what you are doing. It may seem crazy, b/c she can't understand you, but she loves the sound of your voice and that is what matters. I used to sing to my son, and believe me my voice leaves a world to be desired, but to this day, and he is 12 now, he will say when he is sleepy, "Mom, can you sing to me?" Good Luck!