I lost a full term baby a few months ago and since then I have developed a lot of annoying habits. I was always quite the neat freak but I believe it may be out of control. If my bf moves something in our house a few inches I feel the uncontrollable need to move it back where I want it. I clean the bathroom with bleach or comet once a day. I absolutely cannont stand things when they are out of place. Our house although very lived in could be in a Home and Garden magazine. This doesn't really sound like a problem but it is taking over my life. Sometimes I'm late for things because I'm running around the house straightening pillows and area rugs before I leave. I've even folded towels more than once until I get them perfect. As I mentioned before, I was always sort of a neat freak but after I lost the baby it has gotten worse and way out of control and even ridiculous. Does it sound like I could have some type of OCD?
2006-10-11 02:54:02 · 5 answers · asked by Amaya 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
*traumatic
2006-10-11 02:56:33 · update #1
Amaya,
First of all I want to say I'm truly sorry for your loss!!!
I've heard that when things get out of control in your life, people will try to control whatever they can in their life. (Ex. You couldn't control the fact that you lost the baby - but you can control the cleanliness of your house.)
Death is always hard to deal with, but the death of a child is especially hard. You need to give yourself alot of time to grieve.
There are many stages of grief such as anger, guilt. Sometimes you won't even know why you feel these things.
Above all share your feelings with your husband. Communication is very important! I tell my husband how I feel and then I tell him "I don't even know why I feel this way, it doesn't make sense to me that I should feel this way, but I do!"
He needs to understand how frustrated you are with yourself for acting the way you are. Lovingly he could remind you when your starting to act out of control.
The anniversary of your child's death you will probably go through anxiety of some sort too! Expect it and realize where it's coming from and then you will be able to deal with it better.
Force yourself to leave something out of place before you leave!!
No matter how much it bothers you, do it!
I hope this helps a little!!
Much Sympathy,
Dee
2006-10-11 03:19:54 · answer #1 · answered by Dee Hat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a lot of insight into your situation. It does look like a control situation. You didn't have control over the outcome of your pregnancy and now you are trying to control the placement of everything in your house but your need to do this is getting out of control. You had established this way of controlling things prior to the birth of the baby.
There are probably websites for people who have lost children. Also there are books on coping with the death of a child. You probably want to fully deal with the loss and see if this affects your behavior. Seeking therapy at this time, if you can afford it, would not be a bad idea. Sometimes OCD is also treated with depression medication. It may be a good idea to deal with the past and why you developed into a neat freak in the first place as that has contributed to you being in your current situation.
Sometimes I wish people like you would come to my home as it would benefit greatly.
2006-10-11 03:10:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it does sound like you could have some type of OCD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Honestly, go see a shrink or something. At least you are seeing that you have a problem.
Hang in there.
2006-10-11 03:01:28 · answer #3 · answered by ChemGeek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you can! You gotta remember that when you were losing that baby, you felt not only a loss but a huge amount of "lack of control"...
Lost one myself...
Anyhow, I think that your best bet would be to seek counseling and maybe try an anti-depressant!
In the very least, try counseling.
That baby just wasn't meant to be and after awhile, you'll get better...
I went on to have two healthy and happy girls... You'll have another chance.
Good luck!
2006-10-11 03:04:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, as a matter of fact, OCD CAN develop as a reaction to a tragedy. That happened to a family member of mine. For more information, read up on OCD at the OCD Foundation's official website. There's lots of helpful information there.
http://www.ocfoundation.org/
2006-10-11 02:58:02 · answer #5 · answered by BarBQer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋