I've known this guy all my life but recently we started messing around. things between us happened kind of fast about 2-3 wks after messing around he asked me to be his girlfriend then like 2 mnths later he decided it wasn't what he wanted. i felt everything happened fast and he just punked out. we never stopped messing around though....but it's been like 5mnths. i thought he would be over it by now but he's not. he says when he's ready i'll probably be the one but he's just not ready
he thanked me for understanding....i told him I didn't understand....i'm just trying to give hime time and chance....but how much time and chance do I give
2006-10-11 02:49:36 · 14 answers · asked by Elle's Mommy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
can anyone give me a time frame
2006-10-11 03:18:42 · update #1
Well, first of all honey, if you haven't already, talk to him. Seriously talk. Ask him what his reservations are and why he keeps backing out. Chances are good if you knew it'd be easier to make the decision. If you've known him all your life, maybe he's just scared--scared of ruining the friendship and losing you (b/c it's true what they say, once you cross that line, you can never go back, it'll never be the same again). The messing around is easy compared to a relationship, but it doesn't necessarily mean he's using you or anything. Whatever the problem is, he sounds like a stand-up guy in that at least he's being honest with you. He needs time. How long do you wait? Well, don't wait around forever. Give him a few months then move on. It's unreasonable for him to expect you to wait endlessly. Space I can understand, and definitely talk to him but talk with the intention of trying to understand where he's coming from; don't pressure him to make a decision. That'll just end up working in the opposite direction. I've made that mistake a time or two. lol
Good luck.
2006-10-11 02:58:37 · answer #1 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like this guy wants his cake and eat it too! Don't waste your time with this one, he's stringing you along and messing with your emotions! Tell him you're done playing the waiting game; that if he doesn't know by this time if you're the one he wants to be with that it's time you both moved on and found some sort of happiness elsewhere! It's great to be understanding but there has to be a point where you draw the line too! Leave him alone for a while and give his mind time to think about what he's lost, you'll never know if you're the one if you keep giving in! Best Wishes!
2006-10-11 03:08:05 · answer #2 · answered by shelly_mo67 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
the first question is are you engaged? the common engagement lasts 6-3 hundred and sixty 5 days so that you may want to get engaged if no longer already and that receives her excited for wedding ceremony making plans. some places (church homes, reception halls, and so on.) have a reserving time of 6-12+ months beforehand in any case so that you 2 might want to sit and %. a date 9-15 months away and that would favor to grant you in hardship-free words sufficient time to set up each and every thing. She might want to plot on procuring her wedding ceremony dress a minimum of 6 months beforehand and the bridal party ought to also order their clothing a minimum of 6 months besides to ensure time for fittings. The better time you need to plan it -- the better probable you adult men will be able to get what you elect. jointly once you've an low season wedding ceremony (October - March) you'd be a lot less probable to run into making plans themes (and also you may want to dodge dropping $). My fiance were in an similar mission in that i had to get married in 2005 or 2006 and he develop into in no rush to get married so we compromised and are growing married this 3 hundred and sixty 5 days. strong success : )
2016-10-16 04:28:39 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want a full commitment and he said he doesn't why are you still "fooling around"? He is just using you for that reason and that reason only. He may care about you on some immature level but my guess is know. You have become his friend with benefits. Tell him you are only friends and until he wants a commitment, no fooling around-PERIOD! It won't be easy but you are being untrue to yourself if you let it continue and you and only you will be hurt tremendously in the end. If he doesn't want to be friends without benefits, he isn't worth your time. Be sure to trust him if he comes running back, he may pull the "I made a mistake, take me back" just to get a little. Be careful, you may have known him all your life but he still is a man and he still may run to you for a roll in the sack. Still to your guns, trust your head AND your heart.
2006-10-11 02:55:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't cut him off it will be very easy for him to decide that he can have his cake and eat it too . . . leaving nothing for you. I can't say that your situation was unfamiliar, I have been in the place of that guy too. My old girlfriend even helped me go out with several gals simultaneously while messing around with me. I did a lot of things I regretted because I knew I could get away with it. I hope you can learn from my mistakes and save yourself and your boyfriend some regret.
2006-10-11 02:55:13 · answer #5 · answered by Big Blair 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It looks like you are already being to generous. Tell him can't just have part of you. That it is all or nothing. If he wants your body it comes with emotions that you expect to be returned. It is not fair to you that this guy is using your raw emotions to get what he wants. You need to know you are worth more than that and if a guy really likes you he will see that. It is not fair to you to sit and wait for him to realize how wonderful you are. Any guy that doesn't know how wonderful you are doesn't deserve your body as he pleases.!!!
2006-10-11 02:55:16 · answer #6 · answered by *~Love is Dead~* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he is just playing around with you.
May be he is looking to find out whether he can have someone better than you but at the same time he is keeping you as his last option if he didn't find anyone.
2006-10-11 02:55:15 · answer #7 · answered by Friend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't stop your life for him. If ya'lls path crosses down the line then you can see where it takes you. But for now you shouldn't be holding your breath. I am not saying it will never happen, just not now. Good Luck
2006-10-11 02:58:55 · answer #8 · answered by stacyshickman 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, he told you that, that you would "probably be the one" ...."when he's ready"......that alone is a hint....he just wants to "mess around" with you and does not want anything serious with you like a relationship!
2006-10-11 02:56:29 · answer #9 · answered by SNVL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much time as you feel in your heart is worth it. But first find out if he is this way because of someone else he may have on the line.
2006-10-11 02:52:58 · answer #10 · answered by His Dudeness 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋